This year alone has seen perfume launches from Antonio Banderas, Fergie, Patrick Dempsey, Reese Witherspoon (three of them), Avril Lavigne, Celine Dion, David Beckham, Dita Von Teese, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Simpson, Keith Urban, Kylie Minogue, Kim Kardashian, Mariah Carey (again, three of them), Michael Jordan, Sean Jean, Shakira, Taylor Swift, Snooki, and a bunch I’ve probably overlooked. Katy Perry's latest is about to launch, and next year we can look forward to new fragrances from Madonna and Lady Gaga.
For crying out loud, make it stop! Enough already with boring celebrities and their boring celebrity fragrances. For all I care, besides the tantalizing Dita Von Teese, the whole mess of focus-grouped stink-waters can be loaded into a rocket and sent to Mars. Fame isn’t taste, and fashion isn’t style.
That said, I’m not completely opposed to celebrity fragrances. I like Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds and Black Pearls. Deneuve was a gorgeous chypre, and it’s a shame Cher Uninhibited was discontinued. Furthermore, here are three celebrity fragrances I’d pay good money for:
Mister Rogers Fancy Body. Remember Mister Rogers’s heartening tune “Your body’s fancy on the outside / Your body’s fancy on the inside / Every body’s fancy, every body’s fine / Your body’s fancy, and so is mine”? In these troubled times, we all need a dose of Mister Rogers’s calm acceptance. Fancy Body features notes of wool cardigan, house shoe, and fusty mail man, all enhanced by a whiff of moth ball. Quick, public television, grab the name Fancy Body before Jessica Simpson claims it. Flankers include Eau de Lady Elaine Fairchild, and Breeze from the Land of Make Believe.
Joan Crawford B Slap. (This is a family column, so you’ll have to imagine what the “B” stands for.) Honestly, I can’t believe this one hasn’t already hit (so to speak) the market. A spritz of B Slap takes the breath right out of you. Your cheeks tingle and pulse races. B Slap’s blend of broad-shouldered tuberose, noir rose, and — you saw it coming — wire hanger accord let you play a 19-year-old nightclub singer despite your hot flashes, if the studio demands it. Wear B Slap and watch the drag queens line up to steal your moves. B Slap comes in a Jungle Red bottle.
Lucille Ball Babalu. Babalu blends the temptation of a never-ending conveyor belt of bonbons with the bracing intoxication of a slug of Vitameatavegimin to make you feel like the star of Ricky’s show. Whether you live in a tiny apartment in New York City or a ranch-style California home, you can be sure Babalu will have Fred and Ethel green with envy. Babalu’s notes include stomped grape, Cuban tobacco, and the patented McGillicuddy musk accord. Babalu’s packaging is henna red with red lipstick accents. Just a few drops will have you beating the conga and singing "Babalu!"
You've heard mine. What celebrity fragrances would you like to see?
This was great, thanks. I can’t think of any living celebrity i’d want a scent from (you forgot Justin Bieber!) Tilda Swinton already did hers.
I’d like a scent inspired by Georgia O’Keeffe (who probably wore nothing but soap, right?) Something dry and desert-y and weird, like dirt and juniper with a twist of one of her giant flowers.
I love that idea! There are lots of good bottle options for an O’Keefe fragrance, too. I can picture a bottle shaped like an open orchid.
Oh Angela!!
I would need a bottle of Gorge Burns’ “Say good night, Gracie!” with notes of tobacco, dry humour, and… Carnation evaporated milk.
It’s companion fragrance would of course be Gracie Allen’s “Oh George!”, a ditsy blend of percolated coffee, illogical logic, and … Carnation evaporated milk.
But seriously, I would love to see a celebrity fragrance in honor of Louise Brooks.
And maybe a hint of martini with that Eau de George Burns? Louise Brooks is great inspiration, too!
Oh, I want a bottle of Joan Crawford’s B Slap.
Along with that I’ll take something from Bette Davis titled “Can’t Make Me” with notes of jasmine, leather, too much scotch, younger men and an artfully raised eyebrow.
Brilliant! The Bette and Joan fragrances would have to be designed to clash, though.
Snort!
I just can’t get Whatever Happened to Baby Jane out of my mind.
“Can’t Make Me”! I’ll buy it in the 100ml bottle.
And wear it with flair, I’m sure!
Bjork, with dirt, oven cleaner, aquatic banana (it does not matter that bananas are not an aquatic plant), and essence of swan feather, of course.
Loved this. Spot on! 🙂
Me too!
Aquatic bananas–god, your wit is keen! I hear her husband lets birds fly around loose and poop in the apartment. We should add a little of that, too.
Odeur 71 by CDG
Yep. You pegged it.
Wouldn’t Babalu have a heavy dose of wall paper glue?
It very well could! Those shows were hilarious.
Maybe MIA but if she released a perfume I don’t think it’d be what I’d hope for. Same for Courtney Love.
Asia Argento.
I’m not good with jokes so I can’t come up with a humorous hypothetical set of notes.
I think Kanye West is supposed to come out with one but hasn’t yet? I’d be interested in trying it.
Kanye West? What’s it going to smell like, inflated ego, hot air and swelled head?
Hm. Possible name could be “Blowhard”.
Inflated egos are only ok if your career peaked before the 1980’s, I forget that sometimes.
Inflated egos are practically timeless, it seems sometimes.
Nope – inflated egos of any generation deserve to be stuck with a pin.
I’m surprised that name hasn’t been taken!
I bet the Courtney Love fragrance would be interesting. Maybe like Fracas with a hint of detox center. Seriously, though, she does have good taste.
I heard about the Kanye West fragrance, too, but not much lately.
Elsa the Lioness “Born Free” (with flankers “Stay Free” and “Forever Free”). A hot blast of concentrated kitty breath straight from the veldt, with a little twist of zebra fur and elephanty accord.
I, too, would buy “B Slap” in a heartbeat.
Brilliant! Kitty scent times a hundred!
Love it! =^..^=
Katherine Hepburn, which for some reason smells like tweeds, chocolate brownies with walnuts, a really good leather handbag lined with silk, Aquataine accord (a wintry “lakeish” aquatic, rather than a marine one), lion’s fur and a teensy bit like expensive cigarettes and brandy in my head.
Gourmet Magazine reported that one of its best Brownie recipes ever, was by Katherine Hepburn.
No kidding! I bet I could find it online. It would be worth trying, if only to say they were from Hepburn’s recipe.
I have it. The funny thing is I got from George Cukor’s (friend and director of Hepburn) housekeeper, whose daughter was a neighbor of mine in LA. But I also have the Gourmet Magazine with the recipe. Then my husband make the recipe even better by adding more chocolate. You can write me at nina at wanderingmind dot com.
Wow! I’d like to hear more of the story of George Cukor’s housekeeper! I’ll send you an email about the recipe.
Here is the original recipe via Laurie Colwin:
http://labellecuisine.com/archives/brownie_bonanza.htm
Laurie Colwin and Katherine Hepburn–two of my favorites!
I’ve had that recipe for a while – my favorite part is when it says “beat like mad” – I can totally hear her voice.
Yes, that’s so good. And her serving advice, too, about putting them on a fancy plate.
Oh, I like it a lot. Yes, I’d definitely give that fragrance a try.
And of course, NIVARNA- “SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT”
I heard Teen Spirit was an actual deodorant, and it did actually have a smell. The song is eternal, though.
I used to think the song was about the deodorant. I was really young at the time.
Don’t feel bad–the first time I saw Spinal Tap I thought it was for real.
There you go! Spinal Tap’s SMELL THE GLOVE Eau de Toilette! With notes of grease, leather, and shark sandwich! Packaging is to be black….none more black.
And the obligatory youtube video could feature midgets and a miniature Stonehenge!
Don’t forget the wrap the bottle in aluminum foil!
That movie was sheer genius.
Bobbi Fleckman to publicize it (national) and Artie Fufkin to set up in-store promotions.
Yes, it was a deordorant. They wrote the song as a result of being annoyed at the fact there was a deodorant with that name (if you get my drift).
You have all the inside info today!
Hole wrote songs about misogyny while Nirvana wrote songs about deodorant, yet Nirvana is the more culturally significant band.
Kind of ironic. I’ll take Nirvana over Hole any day.
Yeah, Nirvane wrote about other “everyday” things, like antidepressants.. And about illegal drugs. But I am not sure if everyone realizes they actually had a song about perfume. It is “Drain you”which was inspired by Suskind’s book “Perfume”.
I read somewhere that Suskind’s ‘Perfume’ was Kurt Cobain’s favourite book. Not surprising given its nihilistic ending (and beginning and middle!)
Also there was some anecdote about Courtney Love wearing ‘teen spirit’ and then something about it being written on a wall and Kurt (not knowing it was the name of a scent) finding it an evocative phrase and basing his song on it…
ok, not sure of how the details of that went!
No, It was not Courtney but another rocker girlfriend, Tobi.
Greetings from Seattle!
Behemot, nice tie between Nirvana and perfume. I had no idea. Thanks!
Reply to Behemot– I think “Scentless Apprentice” is the Nirvana song you’re thinking of. 🙂
Actually, it was Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill (and now Le Tigre) that came up the with the name for the song.
“Cobain came up with the song’s title when his friend Kathleen Hanna, at the time the lead singer of the riot grrrl punk band Bikini Kill, spray painted “Kurt Smells Like Teen Spirit” on his wall. Since they had been discussing anarchism, punk rock, and similar topics, Cobain interpreted the slogan as having a revolutionary meaning. What Hanna actually meant, however, was that Cobain smelled like the deodorant Teen Spirit, which his then-girlfriend Tobi Vail wore. Cobain later claimed that he was unaware that it was a brand of deodorant until months after the single was released.[10]”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smells_Like_Teen_Spirit
See what you learn when you read a perfume post? That’s what I love about these comments–all sorts of interesting things come up.
Oh Angela, I’d buy all three of those! Wearing B Slap to one of those practically unsufferable dinners I have to attend would give a naughty bit of silent satisfaction. 😉
If Marlene Dietrich had released a fragrance, no matter what it smelled like, I would be compelled to buy it since I love her so.
Also, I’d expect something strangely wonderful from Kate Bush that would seem sweet and ladylike on the top notes then turn into something powerful and almost thunderous underneath with a note of ozone and animalics.
And odd as it is, if the great painters of the past and present had fragrances (save for Dali, who’s got a line already, I believe), I think John Singer Sargent (sexy lush floral with earthy, mossy base and really dirty musk) or Edward Hopper (spare haunting modern creation) would be really intriguing.
I bet Marlene’s fragrance would be incensey. Yes, I’d like to see something encapsulating Kate Bush’s spirit, too! Of course, I think of Wuthering Heights and smell peaty moors.
Dali does have a line, but you’re on to something with Sargent and Hopper.
Incense and Marlene Dietrich sounds fantastic: a fatally attractive composition.
I would buy the Sargent fragrance unsniffed.
I’m thinking of Marlene in Morocco when I say incense. I always think of her with a cigarette in her hand, too. So maybe tobacco.
I come up with perfumes for everything, but I especially like coming up with perfumes for artists
Egon Schiele, my favorite artist, would have cumin and leather, I think. Maybe I’m just throwing in leather because its my favorite note though.
I can see leather with Egon Schiele (and definitely cumin). Something about his colors are kind of leathery.
I was thinking about how a Cate Blanchette perfume would smell! I love her aristocratic bearing, but I think her (hypothetical) frag may contain a stand-off galbunum note that would just make me nervous!
Oh, I bet you’re right! She’s so beautiful, and such an amazing talent, but she seems impenetrable somehow.
and its exactly that quality that is so compelling!
Exactly!
GARBO. The smell of the Swedish forests and tons of the best orris money can buy with just a hint of leather. Aloof and earthy at the same time and above all utterly beautiful.
I’ll take a couple of bottles of that, please!
Me too!
Ava Gardner. It would be the olfactory equivalent of a pair of long, black gloves. Elegant and animalic at the same time. With a hint of gardenia. 😉
She HAD to wear gardenia. Must have. It would be so perfect on her.
I’m sure I read somewhere a long, long, time ago that she wore Fracas – so you’re spot on!
I can completely imagine her in Fracas. Everything from the bottle to the drydown suits her.
I would love to see a series of fragrances developed and named after classic celebrities. Call the series something along the lines of “Immortal”, (I dunno, it’s the first thing that came to mind) and have each fragrance be named after a particular celeb. Have a scent that would capture the character of each golden age celebrity from Hollywood at their peak, but be current. If they were abstract names that are associated with the celebs, that would only result in an excuse to create flankers*. This way, you name the fragrance to the person. more pressure to make the fragrance of quality too. None of this Irresistible, very irresistible, very irrisistable intense, etc. I don’t want to see a “Mr Rogers, ‘Fancy Body’ Intense Moth Ball edition” down the line. Here’s something along the lines of what I would like to see:
eg. Marilyn Monroe – soft, bubbly and fresh. champagne note, Bulgarian rose, white peony, white musc, white woods.
Shirley Temple – something young, fruity, fresh. Grenadine, Primo Fiore Lemon, Bergamot, Jasmine
Jayne Mansfield – a little sweet and yet tart: rosehip, linden, mimosa, wild raspberry, blonde honey.
Kim Novak – Ice accord, white ginger, mint, pink pepper,
James Dean – tobacco, leather, citrus, cedar, salty air accord
I’d like them to be well thought out so that they truly capture their character.
*(don’t get me wrong, I do like flankers in certain situations, but sometimes they’re just played out too often – I’d like to see them develop completely new scents than play it safe for a money grab by changing a note or two here and there.)
You must be in marketing. These are just plain too good for a civilian to have thought up! Marketing or perfume. Love how you made the honey “blonde.”
I work in fragrance, but have studied marketing. My degree is in politics and history, HAHA! I love fragrance and the art of it. I create passion, magic and take customers on an adventure when they allow me to.
If it was someone with significance who was behind the creation of celebrity fragrances, it would be even better. If it were someone like Jo Malone/Tom Ford/ Karl Lagerfeld and used the celebrity as a muse to create the fragrance in their perspective, it would be pretty cool. They wouldn’t sacrifice their names by diminishing the quality, which would therefore create worthwhile celebrity fragrances to purchase, not just “bench-warmers” that were grabbed off the shelf that were just good enough to fill a market gap for profit (like the majority, if not all, of celeb fragrances we have today).
Tom Ford has a relationship to Hollywood. If he weren’t so busy with his own perfume line, he could take this up and run with it.
Excellent- Mister Rogers’ Fancy Body had choking on my Diet Coke!
I would like to see a Tori Amos fragrance which would have notes including barbie doll accord, leather, incense, and iris. Odd, but thats what comes to mind! Also, would love to see a fragrance inspired by William Blake.
Wow–a William Blake fragrance would be amazing if it really captured his spirit!
Now THAT would have presence-
the crackle of feline fur!
🙂
Yes! And all sorts of other fantastical things.
I’d LOVE a Tori Amos fragrance! Of course, she’d never do one, and that’s part of why I love her.
Exactly! 🙂
I seem to recall reading in an interview with Tori Amos that her preferred fragrance was grapefruit soap.
Somehow that fits.
Edgar Allen Poe’s Lenore. of course with a raven on the cap sitting on a bust of Paris(? was it?) heavy on the graveyard flowers and incense with a melancholy note of vanilla and leather for the old books.
How about Judy Garland’s Over the Rainbow? a candy inspired gourmand with springtime honeysuckle and lily of the valley and jasmine? iridescent rainbow bottle with a blue bird cap? Have a flanker in a red sequinned shoe called No Place Like Home that smells of Auntie Em’s violet water and apple blossoms with an ion rain edge promising a storm….
and finally, how about something from Mrs. Santa? Gingerbread and peppermint sticks in hot cocoa with sparkling berries and roses and magnolias and pine, mellowed out to a warm rich amber.
Lenore and the Wizard of Oz ideas are genius inspiration, but I can’t believe someone hasn’t already done a Mrs. Santa perfume! Patent that, Ravyng, and your retirement is set.
Love the Lenore concept!
Close–it was a bust of Pallas (I think for Pallas Athena).
NST has the smartest readers ever!
Love the Mrs. Santa idea! I agree, patent that immediately!
Oh, these are good!
I would love to see the images of William Powell and Myrna Loy fronting images for Nick and Nora. I think both scents would have to include gin, but I adore these two stars and those characters.
I adore them, too! Gin and gunsmoke would be perfect.
Mister Rogers Fancy Body! Angela, that is genius, and thank you for making me crack up severely during a very stressful day. I love the flankers too!
I sure do miss Mr. Rogers, fancy body and all.
Angela, have you had a chance to try Dita Von Teese’s scent? I’ve been curious about how that one turned out.
I haven’t. I don’t know a thing about it, but I admire her style. I’m hoping she had a hand in the fragrance.
Elsewhere I have hoped for a Javier Bardem inspired Woof! Probably smelling of pimento, tobacco, spanish cedar, birch tar.
But here I will hope for Tim Burton’s Sanguine Noir. For some reason I see it containing pumpkin, truffle, overripe plums, dark chocolate, blood and bone, oakmoss.
Ooh, Sanguine Noir – sounds great!
Innnnnnteresting! I’d love to smell it too.
Wow! Sounds good. Seasonal, too. Truffle, bone, pumpkin…nice.
Angela, your blog was so good and so are all the responses–so much so that I am at a loss for words. However, I would love to see a Natalie Wood fragrance–“Splendor in the Grasse”.
Great play on words! She was so beautiful, too. I can imagine a fresh, passionate fragrance, not overly fancy.
I was thinking of Lucy fragrance last night…. small world. The Copenhagen Little Mermaid and the Mona Lisa would be two I’d like to see/smell.
The Mermaid immediately makes me think of ocean, rain, and metal–very evocative.
Can someone come up with a Johnny Depp fragrance? Angela? Am confused which olfactory direction to take. Should it be Jack Sparrow or Edward Scissorhands?
I think Edward Scissorhands, with a strong note of boxwood. Jack Sparrow is enough of a character to deserve his own fragrance!
Don’t forget the ever-popular (thought I really don’t know why) metalic note
Yes, and maybe a little 3-in-1 oil for the pruners?
Oh, Angela, what a great post! I love these celebrity frags, yours and all the commenters. I’d love to try a scent inspired by Josephine Baker – who’s ready to brainstorm it?
Byredo already did one! Maybe we could do better, though. Bananas would definitely need to be a note.
Didn’t know about the Byredo. Would you say it’s worthy of its inspiration?
I haven’t smelled it, but Kevin did a review: http://tinyurl.com/qeybg8
Guerlain’s Sous Le Vent was created for her by Jacques Guerlain.
Now I really need to try Sous le Vent – it goes to the top of my “sample the vintage classics” list.
I love Sous le Vent, but to me it doesn’t seem to have Josephine Baker’s passion. Of course, Guerlain probably knew her a lot better than I do from a few magazine articles.
I agree, Angela. I didn’t get the connection at all (in my mind at least).
what a wonderful post! I can’t think of a single thing, I’m still laughing so hard!
xoA
I’m glad you enjoyed it! Everyone can use a laugh sometimes.
Well, if we’re gonna do Mr. Rogers, then I think we need another public television fella–the ever-endearing Bob Ross! We could call it “Happy Little Trees” or any number of similar names, with notes of paint, afro hair oil, and patchouli. (He’s gotta have worn patchouli, right?!)
I feel so out of touch–I don’t know Bob Ross! I’m going to google him right away. Your description is way too compelling.
Oh, my gosh, some of the most relaxing television ever made, maybe even more relaxing than Teletubbies.
I found whole websites devoted to his quotes! Here’s one: Decide where your little footy hills live.
Now just imagine that said in the calmest, most non-aggressive, baritone voice you can! It was technically a painting show, but I think it was really a “lifestyle” show–gently teaching peace and kindness!
I’ll be thinking about that all evening. Where do my little footy hills live? How little are they? Are they really living, or just existing?
I like this guy already.
LOL! Wasn’t it great? When I was growing up, Snowy (yes, what an imaginative name for a white cat) and I would take our Saturday afternoon nap in the big chair when the Joy of Painting came on.
That sounds idyllic! (For real!)
Tres colours – inspired trio with Juliette Binoche, Irene Jacob, and Julie Delpy. By Etat Libre d’Orange, of course. They did so well with Rossy de Palma and Tilda Swinton.
It’s true–Etat Libre knows how to do a good celeb scent. I think you’re on to something.
Babalu: Take out the grape, put in the chocolate (remember the candy on the conveyer belt scene?) and I think you might have something there.
B Slap – I’m seeing nastiest leather or meanest chypre ever for this one.
Oh yes, I remember the chocolate scene! She was so funny.
Maybe we should make Joan’s scent a leather chypre and get both genres in there.
Perfect for Joan!
Pee Wee Herman’s TEQUILA! It would smell like very thick pancake makeup, Brylcreem, and stage sweat, and a free Shoe Mirror would be included in every purchase.
I bet it would sell by the truckload! Anything for a free shoe mirror….
What a fun post! I have enjoyed reading all the comments – some great ideas there.
I just finished my first quadruple perfume review – I think my descriptor cells are broken now. I’ll come up with something clever next week when nobody is looking at this any more.
We like you, quick witted, or recovering the quick wit. A quadruple review! That’s a lot of sniffing and explaining.
The perfume I’d love to smell is Bette Davis’s “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night!” I imagine it would be compelling and a little frightening, but you have to hang in to see how it develops. Maybe a boozy smokey chypre, if there is such a thing.
If there isn’t such a thing, there should be!
Agree!
Great choices. I’d buy the first and second ones in a heartbeat.
My thoughts:
Bogie and Bacall: Complimentary, but very different, scents. Hers is a sharp floral, while his is boozy with a hit of (gun holster) leather. Both twine together through a shared tobacco note; they could be worn separately, but would also layer beautifully.
GLaDOS: I’d love to see a scent for this AI video game baddie from Portal and Portal 2, but I couldn’t describe it without spoiling the games! However, Andrea Maack Craft would be a start…only drier, and with more amoral wit.
I don’t know enough to comment on the video game scent, but I love your Bogie and Bacall idea! Separate, but linked, and able to be layered–so good.
Well, we could be sure that it wouldn’t smell like cake! 😀
Oh no, this is probably a great old movie joke, and I can’t remember the movie! You guys are too smart for me.
Oh, no, it’s a Portal joke. I was horrible at the game, that type of game takes more in-head spatial manipulation/judgement than I’m able to do (I have a hard enough time with it not on screen!) but I do, fortunately have a younger brother who sneers at me contemptuously as he finishes my videogames for me (and I drink his beer, so he can sneer all he wants to, as long as he stays thirsty!)
Of course, by the time “I” had gotten to the end of the game, we already all knew the joke.
I admire you! I probably would flunk out at frogger at this point.
Yes, but we could be reasonably sure that it would smell like lies instead. (And what would that be? Ozonic?)
Angela, don’t be scared off by modern games…they’re worth a try, really. Portal (and the fantastic sequel, Portal 2, which is GREAT fun to play with a friend) are puzzle games with fabulous voice acting and a very memorable baddie in the aforementioned GLaDOS. Thinking of it, actually, one of the better ways I could describe GLaDOS would be as a genuinely psychotic Joan Crawford who happens to be an Artificial Intelligence. One with access to weaponry. (Come on, how can you resist that description?)
I believe you have formulated the only possible argument that would even tempt me to play a video game! I’m not sure where I might stumble over GlaDOS (I probably just messed up the name), but if I do, I’ll check it out.
Sigur Ros. It will smell of Iceland in Spring!
The flankers will of course evoke other seasons.
Oh I’d buy that in an instant! I adore Sigur Ros and have so many wonderful memories made while listening to Jonsi’s almost angelic voice.
Yet another thing I’ve learned from these comments–another musician to try out.
I don’t know what Iceland in spring sounds like, but the words themselves are so evocative!
Oh, yes, please! me too!
Anna B Toklas’ Hashish Fudge
Notes are fig, date, coriander, cinnamon,nutmeg, peppercorn resting on a base of cannabis butter sweetened with light brown sugar.
From the Alice B. Toklas Cookbook
“This is the food of paradise – of Baudelaire’s Artificial Paradises: it might provide an entertaining refreshment for a Ladies’ Bridge Club or a chapter meeting of the DAR. In Morocco it is thought to be good for warding off the common cold in damp winter weather and is, indeed, more effective if taken with large quantities of hot mint tea. Euphoria and brilliant storms of laughter; ecstatic reveries and extensions of one’s personality on several simultaneous planes are to be complacently expected. Almost anything Saint Theresa did, you can do better if you can bear to the ravished by “un évanouissement reveillé”.
This would actually make a good perfume, I think.
Hey, not a bad idea! Terrific quote, too. You wouldn’t have to come up with the usual perfume copy.
I have that cookbook. It’s a great read–more like a memoir than anything else.
Good god, I like the sound of that. My winter fragrance wardrobe cries out for this very thing.
As long as it doesn’t inspire too many trips to the 7-Eleven for snacks….
I just got a mental image of Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas hanging out in front of the convenience store like Jay & Silent Bob at the Quick Stop. XD
That’s hilarious! Picasso should paint THAT.
You crack me up, Angela.
I try!
Wow, that’s a lot of celebrities! Count me as another taker for B Slap and Babalu! I should wear B Slap to work EVERY day, way to be taken seriously!
One famous person who would never in a million years have a namesake fragrance is Viggo Mortensen, but I am intrigued with trying to imagine what it would be like. It would be outdoorsy and spacious like L’ Air du Desert Marocain, but cooler and more “northern.” Maybe peat, wood smoke, hay, dry moss, danger and the icy stares of wild timberwolves hunting in the boreal forest. Of course it would be called either just Viggo, or “Aragorn.”
A fragrance for a ranger! That would be so great! Though I think we should have the waxy note of a hunting jacket in there too…
Or that oiled canvas. I love that smell.
Forget about the fragrance, I’ll take Viggo Mortensen in the flesh.
This sounds wonderful.
John Waters — “Scratch ‘n’ Sniff”
Aaagh! I know I wouldn’t be able to resist sniffing, and then I’m sure I’d regret it. But it’s a genius idea.
This is why I love NST! Your original post was brilliant, Angela, but then the commentors ably kept pace with you. Fantastic suggestions and even an epic brownie recipe!
What about Audrey Hepburn? I see sweet and sophisticated at the same time – Eliza Doolittle violets with some I Could Have Danced All Night Champagne.
Grace Kelly – galbanum and moss, white roses, but with a secret warmth in a vanilla and sandalwood base.
Cary Grant – tweed and tobacco, whiskey and honey, but with a quirky dash of slapstick.
They’ve all had lovely fragrances dedicated to them, but none (as far as I know) directly named after them. Great ideas!
What about a Monty Python’s fragrance?
The top notes are spam, spam, spam & more spam, the heart notes are spam, spam, ylang ylang spam, spam, spam spam, & the base notes are spam, spam, spam & a marvelous javarian dirty vetiver spam.
Not even a whiff of dead parrot?
Dead parrot could be one of its flankers: Monty Python’s Dead Parrot, Monty Python’s Shrubbery and the better one Monty Python’s Snap Fish.
sorry, SLap Fish
Don’t forget Crunchy Frog!
(the gourmand flanker!)
You guys are killing me!
That’s even worse than the John Waters fragrance! I’m afraid dogs would be following me down the street if I wore it.
[spam, spam, spam, spam, SPAMITY SPAAAM, SPamity spam, spam, spam, spam, spam. . .]
Can’t get this one out of my haead (mostly because these are so fun!)
Patsy Kline could have a good one. Smoky, boozy, leathery (boot leather, of course), with an edge of motor oil, Virginia cedar and plain old Virginia dirt. Roses and “ashes of roses” (which is usually a color, but I always think of as a smell.) Little whiff of coal dust, from being close to Loretta Lynn. And a little bit of lipstick,
Brilliant! Back when I was married, I lived in N. Va. for several years. Our best friend was Patsy’s nephew – his mother and Patsy’s mother were sisters, so we learned alot about Patsy, her music, etc. She’s still worshipped in Winchester, Va.
Make that Patsy’s *cousin*….
That’s a great story!
Oh my gosh, a very moody fragrance. I’d love to smell it!
Someday, in the not too distant future, every person on the face of the earth will have their own fragrance and an indeterminate number of flankers…….
Have you tried the Andy Wharol’s fragrance???
Of course, you’re right. A Warhol fragrance would be the one for everybody!
There’s already Andy Warhol Silver Factory–a start, anyway.
…For 15 minutes anyway!
Oh lord. That’s a scary thought.
For anyone who remembers the great silent era, I would love love LOVE to see a fragrance dedicated to the equally great Mary Pickford. She was a true pioneer in a field that even back then was run by men and I just adore her.
Hmm, heavy on the floral since she was dubbed America’s Sweetheart? I own that I’m not as familiar with notes as most everyone else here; what do you all think?
Something sort of innocent would be good, too, since she so often played girls. Maybe a mix of meadow flowers with a hint of celluloid accord? It would be great to have an accompanying Douglas Fairbanks Jr. fragrance, too.
How about a Simon Cowell perfume? It doesn’t matter how it smells– you’re not good enough to wear it!
And a new fragrance motto is born!
While I do think the use of dead celebrities is “necro-marketing”, if there were a Louise Brooks perfume which made me feel like her, I’d be tempted. As for famous live people, I’d like to see Helen Mirren have a chat with Etat Librar d’Orange.
Oh yes, Helen Mirren would be brilliant, and sure to be a best seller (I’d buy one, anyway).
Now I’m going to ruminate on how to go into necromarketing full time. If there’s money in it….
My mother HATES perfume and there are only 2 or 3 that I’m able to wear when I go home for holidays. I immediately called her and read her the faux-copy on “B-Slap.” She laughed and said that she would probably wear it as well.
Oh no! Tell me she’s not too much like Joan! (At least as Joan’s daughter would have it.) Or maybe your mom just has an excellent sense of humor.