At the Antonio Banderas perfume website, you can take a quiz to help you select one of the many Antonio Banderas fragrances. Accompanied by a photo of Banderas casting a smoldering gaze, the quiz asks, “Tell me about yourself and I will tell you which fragrance will best suit your personality.” I can hear Banderas’s accent now. And he wants me to tell him about myself! I know I’m blushing.
The first question asks simply whether I’m a man or a woman. Easy. The next — and final — question asks me to choose from one of seven adjectives to describe myself. (Men get nineteen options.) I’m a little disappointed he doesn’t want to know more about me — I could tell him about my childhood, share my love of macaroni and cheese, show him my scars — but I’m game anyway. What should it be? Am I “casual,” “magnetic,” “spontaneous”? With another glance at Antonio’s black-fringed eyes, I choose “sensuous.” The website spits out its suggestion: Blue Seduction for Women.
Ah, Antonio. I guess we were never meant to be…