Paris holds a special place in the hearts of many perfume lovers. Last week’s tragedy in Paris shook a lot of us. I know I’ve been thinking about how fragile and unpredictable life is. What do you do to comfort yourself when your life is shaken up? Is there a perfume you turn to?
Just as events remind me not to take the people I love for granted, they also encourage me to remember the foolishness of saving “nice” things. Every day is nice. Over the weekend, I dipped into the few milliliters of Lanvin Scandal I have left, and I liberally splashed on some vintage Carven Ma Griffe Extrait. As long as I’m truly enjoying them, I want to use them, not save these special fragrances for some mythical time when — what? — I’m invited to George Clooney’s villa?
Also, beauty brings comfort. When I’m low, I often flip through museum exhibition catalogs or cook an elaborate meal. A beautiful fragrance, especially one I don’t wear often, soothes the ache. I used my last, hoarded drop of old Christian Dior Dioressence before bed last night. (I’ll hang on to its sample vial, though, until every last molecule has evaporated.)
On the other hand, sometimes a warm, unchallenging fragrance is the most comforting — the perfume equivalent of an old quilt or well-worn sweater with a fluffy feel. For me, Amouage Beloved is that kind of comfort with its gentle floral heart and powdery aura. (I’m wearing it right now, in fact.) Vintage Chanel No. 5 parfum has taken on a comfort role for me, too, and buttery Lancôme Cuir de Lancôme is as soft and easy a perfume to wear in cool weather as I know.
Finally, I find amber, gourmand, or creamy patchouli fragrances comforting, although they can be downright annoying if I’m not in the mood for them. Yesterday I wore Reminiscence Tonka, and it helped me feel safe and warm. Chopard Casmir, Tom Ford Noir Pour Femme and Flower by Kenzo Oriental could all fill that role, too.
It may be that you don’t want the distraction of perfume at all when you’re grieving or feeling off kilter. I understand that. In the end, what matters most is that we spend time appreciating the everyday marvel of our own lives and building strong relationships with our friends and neighbors. Life isn’t about Maseratis and corner offices. It’s about good friends, an adorable rescue mutt, and the value in helping an elderly neighbor get groceries in the rain when we’d rather be watching old movies, for instance.
Still, it doesn’t hurt to remember and take comfort in the dreamy way the winter’s low sun hits the wall or the scent of jasmine tea. Or vintage Chanel No. 5.
Is there a perfume you turn to for comfort?
Note: top image is sfspca-adopt-0-7 by Celine Nadeau at flickr; some rights reserved.
I find comfort in the soapiness of Prada Amber Pour Homme that gives me a feeling like I just put on a freshly ironed cotton shirt.
The powdery embrace of Prada Infusion d’Homme is also soothing. I get a similar effect while I wear Atelier Cologne Silver Iris or even Histoires de Parfums 1725
A freshly ironed shirt scent does sound comforting–as does the shirt itself. (Your gravatar is a shirt, too!)
I get the same feeling from Prada APH. It’s like a shower in a bottle, great for times of stress (and sweat) when you don’t want to worry about whether you smell not so fresh.
It sounds like a good fragrance to keep in the desk at work.
Yes! Most well done “office friendly” male scents you can buy IMO. No skank or anything offensive, not totally boring either. Cartier Declaration is maybe a braver and more interesting choice for office wear but even it is to skanky for some which is bizarre when you compare it to say Musc Kublai Khan and the classic Hermes colognes 🙂
True!
Lucasai, if I could find a genius to capture the smell of fresh ironing, I’d give my retirement fund to the project! Ironed cotton slipping over a clean body is one of life’s best (innocent) sensations, and one I never tire of. It’s both comforting and refreshing, and cotton manages to be both soft and crisp simultaneously. So yes, perfumes that make me call to mind ironed cotton over skin are deeply comforting.
A rich chug of aldehydes can give the scent of a steam iron sometimes. The old Narciso Essence is an example.
Chanel no 5 had an aura of starched shirt last time I wore it. Which is odd I never even wear starched shirts. Them aldehydes at work.
Could be worse than starched shirt!
There is nothing like a fresh white shirt to restore your faith and confidence.
Now, if only they would iron themselves…
A really lovely post, and one I’m sure we all needed. Kenzo Amour Le Parfum is my main comfort scent, for the rice pudding feel.
Eating rice pudding would be plenty comforting, too.
I find PG Ilang Ivohibe and Coze, Yves Rocher Neonatura Cocoon, and Caron Nuit de Noel all very comforting. YSL Cinema and Hermes Ambre Narguile could also fill that role. I should try and see if Guet Apens has that same feel of soft armor.
I love the description “soft armor.” That’s exactly the feel I go for, too.
That is what my entire collection is for me. That is part of how I have “fallen down the rabbit hole” – each acquisition has become part of my emotional armor in the most wonderful and life-affirming way.
That’s fabulous!
Ilang Ivohibe is so gorgeous and I’ve often thought it should go on my to buy list. I have a small decant that I treasure.
I like it, too. I’m not sure why I never invested in a decant.
And it makes an excellent sopoforic–both jasmine and vanilla promote sleep. It is one of my favorite before bed scents.
Did you see that Mandy Aftel has a new face oil with a light jasmine scent? I used up my little sample quickly, and it *was* nice before bed.
Our thoughts are with the people of France!
Serge Lutens Louve is very comforting.
That’s a good one–nice and warm and comforting.
When I need comfort from death, I find anything that is sensual and life affirming to be helpful. Anything that uses my senses and grounds me in my body is good. Perfume of just about any scent fits that bill nicely, as does immersing in a warm bath, drinking a glass of wine or cup of really high quality tea. Obviously a hug from a loved one does wonders, and comfort food is called that for a reason.
There is a lot of pain in the world right now, from Beirut to Paris to the streets of practically every home town. Be kind to yourself and others as we all grieve for the injustices and violence in the world.
You bring up such a good point: things that ground us take our brains away from the spinning they can do. Working in the garden is another good way to “come back.”
Very well said, Missionista.
I think the tragedy is something that is very scary to the fashion and beauty industry. Sorta of shatters the marketing illusions of beautiful, romantic Paris. Anyway so tired of this senseless violence, it’s heartbreaking. Same goes for the beautiful city of Beirut, such an awful tragedy.
I haven’t honestly looked to see but have any brands said anything about the attack? I got on Business Of Fashion site this morning hoping to see something acknowledging what happened and reactions from the industry but nothing. Will check again soon.
I don’t know that I’ve heard anything from the beauty or fashion industry, but I don’t really keep up, either. It’s easy to get caught up in violence and forget all the wonderful, brave, helpful people, too.
Yes we must never forget that even in such a cruel world their are heroes and kind people who sometimes give so much for so little.
Definitely. Simply assuming the best of someone can be really powerful.
Timely post for me: on top of the craziness on the global level, I am now dealing with more personal turmoil with a very ill dear brother. Far away from my perfumes, I can only pretend. I would turn to Chanel No. 19 for familiarity, my first ‘adult’ perfume and something I’ve always had throughout my life. I’d also turn to something large, grand and lovely like 24 Faubourg or Coromandel that just don’t suit my everyday life but make me feel special when I need them.
More than anything, it kind of amazes me how much perfume has become like a friend that needs nothing from me at all. It is just there to cheer me up.
I’m so sorry to hear about your brother! I hope you both find comfort to extent you can.
I can not relate to the “saving nice things”. When my mother passed away I was going through a chest in her closet. Inside I found beautiful tatted pillow cases and lovely kitchen towel sets with embroidery from when she married 40 years earlier. They had never been used and were hidden away for decades. What a waste. I divided up the items between myself and my SIL and with the promise we would both actually USE them. As for comfort I tend to bake. Yesterday for Sunday breakfast I made from scratch Orange Cardamom Rolls. Along side a big bowl of cafe I was feeling very attached to my French side.
I’m with you! As long as you’re truly enjoying it, use it. (Your breakfast sounds fabulous, by the way.)
My mom is the same way: I’ve NEVER once seen her use her fine china, best linens, or other “nice things”. The few times I’ve given her perfume…never worn. Makes me a little sad, so I have always vowed to use my nice things and enjoy! 🙂
The last couple of days, I’ve been enjoying a sample of Black Jade, by Lubin. What a beautiful scent! Too fancy for the office, but beautiful to wear around the house doing laundry, and hanging around the hubby and kids!
Oh, I haven’t tried that one, but you make it sound great!
I really like Black Jade. It’s on my wish list. I think it is very pretty!
Another vote in its favor! I must try it.
It didn’t get a lot of love in the blogs but I really loved it. I have a decant and will get around to buying it eventually.
Strangely enough, I think I can relate to the ‘saving nice things’ idea. My mother rarely used her wedding china and silver, just at Christmas perhaps. And before she was married she collected china, as a lot of young women did then, and that remained in the cabinet most of her later life too.
If it’s not used, it stays pristine, and for a careworn working mother with three kids and not enough money, it probably represented dreams of beauty and ease that were not fulfilled. Not that she was an unhappy person, but circumstances forced her to become pragmatic and frugal. In that context I can understand the way she guarded her nice things.
In times of greater material comfort, many of us CAN use our nice things because we can be more certain that we can replace them. The wolf is not as close to my door as it was for my mother.
In a way, it sounds like she *was* using them, but as symbols of hope and aspiration and maybe of accomplishment.
That sounds so right! In the start of the novel “A Tree Grows In Brooklyn”, the young girl is described having the amazing luxury, every morning, of brewing a cup of coffee. She describes the smell and the beauty of making it and as soon as it is poured…she pours it down the sink. She loves the process but doesn’t really enjoy drinking it and that is her luxury. I read this book probably 50 years ago and that is what I remember! Maybe our mothers *having* those beautiful things was the luxury, as you say. So true.
It has been years and years since I read that book. What a terrific memory of it for you to have. I must reread it.
I’m embarrassed to say I have not heard of the book. I will fix that ASAP. Thanks!
How extraordinary….that is the one thing I remember about the book, too! That and I believe her mother also remarked that she felt luxurious being able to waste something everyday. The entire section has stuck with me for decades, and was a bright spot in an otherwise kind of dreary ( to me) little book.
I wonder how it holds up as an adult? I plan to have a look at it again.
Dreams of beauty and ease… I like that, and I think that is true as well. Something for the dream bubble without chipped rims. OTOH, indulging in the luxuries that are already in your house is a wonderful thing. I think that’s why I like fragrance so much: no dry cleaning, no rips or tears or worries over whether it fits or not, no worries most of the time about breakage, no broken clasps that need expensive repairs, can’t lose it once it’s on…. It is the most portable luxury I can possibly imagine.
Well put! I agree. And if you can’t afford a full bottle of something, a decant gives you exactly the same experience.
Ten centimetres of a Chanel dress is no good to anyone, but ten mls of Chanel perfume? Still wonderful.
Excellent point!
Yes! I agree completely.
I am my parent’s caretaker now, they are very old but still able to be in their home. I dig through the cabinets and use what I find; the tatted pillowcases are on the pillows, the good silverware is used for lunch (along with paper plates, hey I’m not perfect and there’s no dishwasher.) Mom doesn’t fight it and she wears her perfumes and jewelry everyday but it takes some coaxing.
You’re a good daughter! It sounds like you’re making wonderful memories.
What a sweet daughter you are!
The people of Paris and, lets not forget Beirut, are suffering. Thanks for your lovely post.
I mostly take comfort in tea. Something about the smell of tea and serving tea to others brings me a lot of comfort.
When my father passed away, I wore La Fille de Berlin to the services. I felt comfort in the rose, but I also felt I needed a perfume to give me strength to get through those days and LFdB served its purpose.
These days I am taking comfort in Shalimar, and since I am not saving anything for special occasions I used up a few last drops of Parure after my Shalimar faded.
I also find comfort in Tom Ford Noir Pour Femme-such a lovely gourmet.
Tea is a classic! I don’t think you have to be British to appreciate the stabilizing effect of a pot of tea.
As soon as my current perfume wears off, I’ll put on a drop of old Shalimar extrait in your honor.
No. 5 (90’s EDP) is not only my armor scent but has always been my comfort scent too. I’ve recently added a small decant of Les Parisiennes Liu to my collection, which feels to me like No. 5 with her armor off, hair down, and clad in a cashmere robe.
I love your description of Liu!
Love Liu…you just prompted me to spritz. Great description, btw.
A lovely, well worded post.
I did not think about it this morning, but I did reach for a slightly gourmand Headonist, for the day. I think it is comforting to wear fall/winter scents, maybe because I am always more comfortable in the cool months.
Sometimes the cool weather scents are soft and warm, too–comforting.
Thanks for this thoughtful post, Angela. I appreciate it.
You’re welcome, and I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Great post – the joy of making your own atmosphere as lovely as possible is one of life’s saving graces. Un Bois Vanille is my favourite comfort blanket. I also turn to Hypnotic Poison when I’m feeling beset by the world.
Gosh, those are two perfect comfort scents!
Simple things are often most comforting for me, so my scents of choice are gourmand and undemanding. Sometimes it’s hard, though, to take joy in even things you normally love, but I’ve been astonished by the amazingly soothing effect of a purring lap kitty. They have no idea what’s going on in the world, and just need to love you and be loved back… it’s a good reminder–for me at least–that shutting down in despair is never the best option.
For me, animals are an amazing comfort. I’m a huge fan of shelter pets–not only do you save a life, they give so much back. (I have a chunky purring cat in my lap as I write this, in fact!)
Both of mine are rescues and I’m sometimes completely overwhelmed by the meaningfulness of saving their lives. I can’t imagine my life, or a world without them in it. One is a total charmer and would have found a home no matter what, but the other one started out so scared and timid that I’m not sure thriving and happiness were certain for him. Basically, I’m lucky, and humbled, and those two little mischief-monsters bring me back to life when not much else will.
One of my cats, Squeaky, hid for 11 days when I first brought him home. Over the past few years, he’s really gained confidence, and he’ll even (all right, maybe only occasionally) let strangers pet his belly.
Over the last few years, my comfort scent has become Ava Luxe’s Nude Musk – and of course she doesn’t make it anymore. As someone who typically dislikes cotton candy/vanilla scents (understatement), this fragrance has surprised me. I can only guess that it’s because it’s not quite a vanilla cupcake bomb and stays pretty close to the skin. I’ll get a lot of wear out of it this winter, for sure.
I wonder if you’d like the new Lab on Fire musk Mon Musc a Moi?
I have not sampled it but have now procured a sample from LuckyScent! 🙂
I’m crossing my fingers that it’s a good substitute for you!
So true Angela. I find Sutra Ylang by Bois 1920 very comforting which is why I chose it today.
I have a bottle of that! It’s such a great all-round scent.
I have a decant of SY right now but have added it to my list.
Beautiful post, Angela.
As much as I enjoy my perfume, it has never registered with me as “comfort” or “armor”. For me it’s tea. From the time I was three years old, my grandmother (my father’s mother), gave me a cup of tea no matter what ailed me. And to this day, when a lot of people would say, “I need a drink.”, I say, “I need a cup of tea!”
That’s such a great memory! Do you like tea scents, too?
They never read as “tea” on my skin. The ionones are too similar to the ones used in both iris and violet scents and that’s what I end up getting.
You can’t go wrong with iris or violet…
My heart is hurting for Paris, for Beirut, Kenya and Brazil’s largest ever ecological disaster. Time to stand together. I’m actually sort of melancholic as a rule, and tend to use perfume as comfort. Shalimar, Chergui, Mohur, Hypnotic Poison, Lolita Lempicka, EL Sensuous, Coco.. Most of my faves are comfort scents to me!
That’s about as good a reason to choose a favorite perfume as any!
If I know I’m going to be in a situation with acute pain – physical or emotional – then I skip fragrance all together. I don’t want an unfortunate memory burned into my brain forever by a sad fragrance association, and a great fragrance ruined (for me: Dune, Paris, Boucheron). Sometimes that happens anyway, but I try and avoid it when I can. When I am in a situation where I am just stressed, in the grinding day after day, Job sitting on a pile of poo, kind of stress, then there are a few I reach for: Chanel No 5 vintage extrait has a remarkable way of being elegant and totally comfortable. I also like fuzzy things like Emeraude, Shalimar, and especially a special bottle of SSS Encens Lavande that is just about as lifesaving as it gets. If I need some comfort plus feet on the ground kind of power, then I get into the vetivers: Encre Noire, No 19, Aveda Chakra #1. I also like AG Mandragore Pourpre because it is very chilled out, but very pretty and soft, so it doesn’t challenge me.
Thanks for finding a way to constructively talk about what happened in Paris last week. I am very sad for it all and all those poor people. Our local jazz station just played a great version of La Marseillaise and it was very touching.
I like how you have a category of fragrance to boost you energetically–rather than simply comfort you–when you’re feeling low.
What I seek for comfort depends a little on my reason for needing comfort in the first place, but as a general rule, almost any of the gourmands will work for me. I especially love SL Rahat Loukoum for that, or Coromandel; Black Cashmere is wonderful and the Elephant is fabulous in a more heavy-footed way.
Although I see heartbreak everywhere — the barista who made my coffee this morning is Parisian, and lost one of her friends at the concert– I haven’t yet felt sad. Rather, I’m angry at the wickedness, and the waste. I don’t have an “angry” perfume, probably a good thing.
There are a few loud stinkers that could definitely be deployed in an angry way! (I’m looking at you, Angel clones.)
I think the more constructive approach–if possible, and it’s not always possible right away–is to turn sadness and anger into caring and love and let that guide what happens next. Of course, in my currently safe little life, it’s easy for me to say.
I don’t have an angry perfume either…but when you think about all the lives being ruined in Syria, Nigeria, Iraq, Afghanistan…France and closer to home on Manus/ Christmas Island. Not much in the way of hope or solutions.
Yes, it can be bleak. But good things are still out there–like the Shalimar I just dabbed on.
Luca Turin described FM Une Rose as “a remarkable, angular, uncompromising fragrance with the alarming beauty of an angry Carmen.” I’ve never quite been able to enjoy it.
Great description! It does have an edge to it that reminds me a bit of Lyric Woman. I should get out my decant and give it another go.
I often turn to La Via del Profumo Mecca Balsam, or what I think of a lighter version of the same theme, SSS Tabac Aurea. Recently, though, I’ve been wearing Pd’E Cuir Ottoman. I agree that Amouage Beloved is a great choice, too. The perfume is a great match for its name.
Those sound like great choices. The Cuir Ottoman reminds me that I bet Tabac Tabou would be a good choice, too, for comfort.
I just received a decant of Tabac Tabou and am finding it rather intriguing, really something different. If didn’t know the name, I would have thought of it as an unusual leather perfume.
I smelled it in August and decided I’d buy a bottle when it came out (although I haven’t–yet). It was so warm and deep.
Recovering from long weekend away with my little ones, visiting old friends up north. Taking pleasure in friendship and comfort in our small pleasures seems even more important, in the face of such horror and injustice going on in the world. I was in a service station cafe for the 1 minute silence at 11.00am, it was really moving.
My husband commutes into London, and i feel so anxious, perfume has such a calming effect and really helps to ease anxiety.
My nearly full 100ml bottle of L’ambre des merveilles was waiting for me when i got home last night, one of the most comforting scents i know, and it was a real bargain at £47.00p!
Small pleasures really are the biggest luxuries! It’s so true, yet easy to forget. L’ambre des merveilles is wonderfully comforting, too.
I love iris and violet scents or gourmand scents as comfort scents. I also reach for tea to drink, and hold my pets. Things in the world are difficult, but here in this moment, I can breathe and feel love.
That’s so well put!
This post and all the comments are a comfort. I do think of perfume as armor sometimes; my former job could be rewarding but every day the environment was loud, hot and chaotic (I was a cook) and it was such a comfort to come home and waft a huge cloud of Shalimar around the house after a good hot shower. When I’m really rattled and stressed, spraying a bit of Encens et Lavande from my tiny decant is instantly calming. Being consciously grateful and my religion are comforting to me as well. Strengthening our inner resources and learning how we can be of value to others are important to survive the world we are living in.
It sounds like you do well in pulling good from difficult times. We’ll all face them–some more trying than others–and being able to remember that there’s comfort out there is so important.
Thank you, Angela, for this thoughtful post and the adorable pup at the top. Reminds me of the comfort that comes from the inherent scents of our best-loved people, pets, and places. I admit it. I love to sniff the tops of furry little heads.
Thanks to everybody for the comforting thoughts. I’m breathing easier after reading these comments.
I always feel better when I have a shower and clean clothes at the end of a stressful day. Adding a comfort scent is the icing on the cake.
Current comfort favorites are
Ylang & Vanille = relaxing
Infusion d’Iris = calming
Eau des Merveilles = uplifting
No. 5 EdP = strengthening
In times of crisis I think of Mr. Rogers and his way of helping children deal with tragic events in the news. His advice to look for the helpers helps me remember the good in this world.
He said, “There was something else my mother did that I’ve always remembered: ‘Always look for the helpers,’ she’d tell me. ‘There’s always someone who is trying to help.’ I did, and I came to see that the world is full of doctors and nurses, police and firemen, volunteers, neighbors and friends who are ready to jump in to help when things go wrong.”
Thank you, helpers, thank you!
This is so timely! I’ve just come home from meeting with a friend, and we talked about what we do when times are rough. My friend quoted her mother, who’d told her to do something for someone else. That, and recognizing the many people who help others, is a great way to feel a bit better.