Do you have friends who believe themselves to be Great Cooks (simply because they've watched every dull/repetitive show on the Food Network for 10 years?) When you get an invitation for breakfast, lunch or dinner from these folks, your stomach cramps. You imagine their latest inventions (atrocities): Scrapple Swirl Chocolate Ice Cream, Dirty Corn (on the cob) slathered with a molasses and sardine oil glaze, Summer Lasagna, complete with pineapple, carrots and shredded toasted coconut nestled between Greek yogurt-smeared noodles. Oh, and sriracha sauce on everything!
As I've written before, I get the same sour stomach when I read note lists from Calvin Klein men's colognes. What inept "cook" comes up with these mismatched ingredients? This "creative"/scent director, or panel, must have a lotto-type wheel where perfume notes replace numbers: spin the wheel and you get...pear brandy! MELON!, agave nectar, SAGE!, tonka bean...sweet crystallized ginger, VETIVER! (All 100 percent artificial.)
Those notes are part of the new Calvin Klein Reveal Men* scent (with additional notes of suede, lentisque and amber). Robin Here at NST(R) said it best when she posted the announcement for Reveal Men: "The notes sound absolutely dismal."
Calvin Klein Reveal (for women) got some respect from perfumistas; so I gave Reveal Men a try.
Reveal Men starts with aromas of sour-vegetal "agave," melon (calone/ozone) and sage (my stomach started rumbling immediately). Joining this jarring mixture is a chemical/ink-y scent (stick your nose into a new magazine and inhale). For a minute or two, there's something food-y present: a choco/coffee-like accord (but very diluted, and unable to obliterate the melon). I was surprised, but grateful, that Reveal Men started to fade quickly, leaving behind the sheerest (and cheapest) sweet amber imaginable; the extreme dry down reminded me of sniffing a stale box of Animal Crackers. To put it into cooking terms: this recipe didn't deserve a second chance — let alone a place on perfume counters.
Calvin Klein Reveal Men is available in 30 ($42), 50 ($62) and 100 ml ($80) Eau de Toilette.