Fragrance is not a gift for a stranger. It is not a gift for a boss, the postman, your baby-sitter, the person who feeds your cat on weekends away. Partly, this is because a fragrance gift from a person not intimately known raises suspicions that the giver is either flirting or insinuating the giftee needs some freshening up. Another powerful reason is that to buy someone fragrance, you need to know two complicated things well: the someone and the fragrance.
— Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez recommend 10 fragrance gifts for women, and 10 7 for men, in Smells good at the UK Times Online.
I’m talking about perfume. With people struggling to make ends meet, that just seems to be one of the most unnecessary items. Don’t get me wrong. I love the smell of some and don’t want to see them out of business, but personally, I would never ever consider spending $20 or more on an item that does the same thing as soap or lotion.
— Columnist Abby Brunks of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution says thanks, but no thanks, in The gift I never want.
ok, A) Looking at the recommended gift sets and hardly agree with what's listed there! Ma Dame, Un Jardin Apres Le Mousson? Hmm, not what I would go for when choosing a gift…Don't get me wrong, these fragrances have done nothing wrong :o) It's just I think of them as more on the love/hate side, why would I want to choose a controversial perfume for a gift? I am assuming here that the person I am buying for has never tried these and therefore I have no idea if she/he likes them. There's also another important thing to consider : am I buying for a perfumista or a “normal” person? Perfume is always such an individual choice, I cannot even tell for sure if my mom is going to like that one or the other one. Luckily, she loved all the perfumes I ever got her, but you can never really tell, right? As well as you might know the persons you're buying for, you cannot ever be sure that they're going to like it, unless they already tried it and confirmed…..
B) Looking at the men's list now, Escale a Portofino is not exactly what I would call “the best a man can get”, but maybe that's just me :o) Maybe I don't get the article at all !! LOL
C) Why would I want to give my postman perfume? He's supposed to get it to me !! :o)) On a more serious note, that is the part that I agree with…..Perfume is not a gift for everyone.
Most of the “gifts for women” list would not delight me, but I'd love to have a sniff of almost all the mens'. I think you should be very, very sure of someone's taste before gifting them with perfume.
I do sometimes encounter people like the columnist who can't imagine why anyone cares about perfume, but it's just a hobby that makes me feel good – I love exploring and “playing” with perfume. It's like reading and good food – life enhancing!
Well, I think the idea that it's an individual choice is part of the idea, no? I mean, they're not saying you should randomly give people any of those scents.
But they do give a list, and I love lists because I can disagree with them
Agree you should know someone's taste, and even then, it's something of a crapshoot.
And yes, that columnist clearly doesn't care, or she'd also know you can't hardly buy a bottle of perfume for $20 anymore
I like the Turin/Sanchez article just to see what their list looks like. And it made me want to try Escale à Portofino and Tom of Finland. I also like their take on why it's such a personal — and potentially inappropriate — gift.
The second little piece was just fun because it's true, we all have items that push our buttons: “I can't believe someone would spend $X on THAT.” Sometimes I myself look at certain tiny 2ml vials of scent and can't believe I've spent $15 or $20 on them (and I'm kind of a cheapskate). Anything can be seen as insane if you analyze it deeply enough. Er… we're just aiding the economy when we spend money on frivolous, overvalued items, right…?
“With people struggling to make ends meet, that just seems to be one of the most unnecessary items.”
I'd be willing to bet that this woman has never actually been poor. If she had, she'd know how incredibly meaningful a seemingly irrelevant luxury like perfume can be.
Or a decent lotion, for that matter!
…”we're just aiding the economy when we spend money on frivolous, overvalued items, right…?”
Hey, I think you are right…
Besides, I've tightened up on everything else…perfume is just my guilty pleasure (well, that and watching True Blood)
Oh, I don't know — many things people spend money on are inexplicable to me. Shoes, for instance, or purses. It's all just what you like & what makes you happy. I guess perfume doesn't make her happy.
Joe, I'm kind of a cheapskate too. I mean, I spend lots of money on some things, but other things that are very important to some people simply don't interest me. And I do find some of the luxury perfume items, esp. some of the really over the top things we've seen recently, very distasteful in any era, but particularly distasteful right now. So I suppose a little frivolity, yes, but I've got my limits. A $20,000 one-of-a-kind from L'Artisan, for instance — that pushes MY buttons.
Yes, me too!! LOL
Exactly, well said. It's all a matter of what you like.
There are some gifts I never want too, like stuffed animal heads to hang on walls or a box with all sorts of bugs…insectarium, is that what it's called? ( not a native English speaker here :o) , but there are people who like those kinds of things and spend money on them.
“Here, honey, I thought you needed these. One is vulgar, the second is cheap and brash, the third has trouble sitting on barstools without indecent exposure, and the fourth is the smell of alcoholism. Merry Christmas!”
Smartylicious, an insectarium is a bug museum/zoo. The things on walls are just called framed insects. I wouldn't want either. :o)
And also, harumph. MKK does NOT smell like SOAP or lotion!
Fragrance is only a great gift if you know a person well…I agree. I wouldn't want perfume as a gift unless I had a specific wish.
Ah, perfume is hard to buy for anyone. I had two hits, and one miss. I feel very badly about the miss, too…My mother liked my Marc Jacobs Cucumber Splash and I bought her the Violet one, and it has been ignored. Sad!
Technically perfume doesn't do the same thing as soap of lotion… soaps makes you clean and lotion makes your skin soft. Perfume doesn't have these functions!
My dad spends insane amounts of money of model trains and that is always what he wants for Christmas.
I often wonder to myself how he can waste his money on these trains, and I definitely would not want to receive these trains for Christmas.
Gosh, I agree with Lucia & Tania. LOL! The sky's going to fall in.
Not with the list, though.
Lutania, since you know me so well, I'm expecting a bottle of the EaP for Xmas, LOL!
Count me out on the stuffed animal heads too
LOL! Good one.
That's actually a pretty good record though!
Best of luck with that
It's arguably worse if you DO know them well and still screw up…I say stick with the specific wishes.
I'm sure she knows that — she just sees it as another functional product, I guess.
I'm enough of a geek that I'd probably love to see your dad's collection!
Sky still up in my part of the world
Guessing I like their lists better than most of you, but there are a few I'd take issue with (Notorious) and a few I haven't even smelled.
I miss my Dad – he was a wonder at choosing scents for me! We think it was because we had similar skin chemistry. My last perfume gift was him was Bvlgari Blv, which I use quite often, but along the road he got me Tiffany, Jardins de Bagatelle, Samsara, a bunch of things I would not have picked for myself but that worked.
I almost never buy fragrance fro people but my stepmom has a great way of doing it – she always gets a sample of it so you can try it without opening it. That way you can take it back to change it out if it's not right. I'm going to do that for her and my sister this year (I hope – more likely now that Bush signed us up for another unemployment extension) with a couple EL Private Collections.
Yes, some expenditures are inexplicable to me too (dolls for grownups, say, or perfume that costs more than a car!), but that particular line suggests not only that perfume doesn't make her happy, which is fine, but that it shouldn't make anyone else happy either, particularly if they're struggling.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I totally disagree with that notion — I think little bits of luxury are really important when you're poor, kind of like pretty makeup for cancer patients. Within reason, of course… A friend of mine in Cuba at one time had literally $2 left to his name, yet he decided to spend it on a stick of deodorant rather than food. Totally impractical and foolish, but you've got to admire such devotion to keeping up appearances!
Thanks for the info ! :o)
I was listening to something on NPR about these “lifelike” dolls that grown women collect, and yes, thought wow — these folks are crazy. But of course it's no crazier than collecting perfume!
How nice that your Dad knew you so well!
And yes, samples are a great idea.
Hello everyone,
It is so true- fragrance is not a gift for a stranger! Particularly if any of the suggested items is on the list- most of those listed are, shall we say, not the best of scents!
As I said above, I like the list better than many of you, but I wouldn't give any of them to my postman either
Small correction: there are only 7 scents for men. We were supposed to come up with 10 recommendations each, all released in 2008, under £100, and available to the UK shopper. It was tough enough for women but turned out impossible for men, so we left it at that, and even cheated with some unisex scents. Some might even be from 2007. Poor guys.
Now back to writing the December update…
Thanks T, fixed above. Can't count, among other things.
My response to Abby Brunk is:
“If thou of fortune be bereft,
And in thy store there be but left,
Two loaves, sell one, and with the dole,
Buy Hyacinths to feed thy soul”
~Muslih-uddin Sadi
My God. I take it all back.
How lovely — thanks so much for posting!!!
I know, I know. Perfectionism is a bit of a pain in the butt though. However, one of my hits was Kenzo Amour and now I get to smell that ever other day (yum!)
Sephora has some great ideas for fragrance gifts. You buy a fragrance coffret or sample packs of top selling perfumes as a gift and inside is a voucher for the perfume of your choice. It costs $70 more or less, there are several choices, and the loved one gets to redeem their favorite and gets some lovely miniatures. Genius
Santa may even put one in my stocking.
Joy,
Becca
Yes, they do those sets every year — they're a good deal.
I tried Ma Dame yesterday, and I thought I'd hate it. And it *is* what I would usually hate. But for some reason I like it.
If we had money to waste I'd ask for it for Christmas.
I might want to get a mini for the days when I don't really feel like myself.
I think it's a really fun scent, and at least it comes in those (relatively) little 30 ml bottles.
How about the great Bread and Roses strike in Lowell, Mass — “Small art and love and beauty their drudging spirits knew. Yes, it is bread we fight for, but we fight for roses too.”
In my case, that's Guerlain's Nahema…
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Nice, thanks! And happy Thanksgiving to you too
How true! It's the quality of life that matters most! Why live if it's just a drudge, with no end of drudgery in sight?
I have an aunt whom I dearly love, but, as the entire family knows, the woman just can't cook! My mother and I have tried to give my aunt nice perfumes and colognes, and we noticed they are never worn. We have all come to the conclusion the woman does not have much in the way of senses of smell or taste. She has a great eye for composition and design, though; she takes lovely photographs of landscapes! So, maybe, this woman, too, may not have much in the way of the sense of smell. Some people are just like that. It may be a genetic thing. What do you all think?
I can relate, my husband's family lack sense of smell, and therefore, aren't that enthusiastic about food either.
Food served at holiday meals is plainly seasoned. My sister-in-law and mother-in-law are both visual (one is a photographer and the other is a graphic designer and artist) so the emphasis is on what they see.
I appreciate the pleasures that wine, perfume and food bring to one's life, and palate and no-one else in the family can taste! But I lack any visual skill & creativity. I have none.
Interesting. Possible that it's her sense of smell, but also possible that she doesn't care about smell, right?
She's difficult to read, I'm not sure if it's important to her?
Although when I'm back from one of my “juice missions” she does comment on various scents I'm wearing. I can tell what she likes and dislikes but that's about it.