Saturday is World Mental Health Day, and we're de-stressing all weekend with our usual open thread poll.
Talk about anything you like — the fragrance you’re wearing today, your best general advice for staying calm in turbulent times, whatever. And if you're struggling, please feel free to ask for advice, or just a pat on the back.*
Or, ask a question about fragrance, then see if anyone else has asked a question that you can answer…
*If you are needing more than just a pat on the back, there are Covid-19 related mental health resources at Mental Health America, Yale Medicine and Psychiatry.org. And of course feel free to add more links in the comments!
Note: top image is March 2016 Art Challenge Photo "Ornamental Cabbage" #1603 [cropped] by COLORED PENCIL magazine at flickr; some rights reserved.
It’s a cold and rainy Saturday here so I opted to wear Parfum d’Empire Cuir Ottoman. This was the perfume that convinced me to like leather notes. This one is line brand new shoes and dries down to more powdered iris. Gorgeous. When I finish this bottle I think I will finally get Memo Italian Leather.
To stay calm I like to listen to my favorite jazz in the evening.
You smell great!
Thank you.
Funnily enough, I had my decant of this on my bedside table. Reached over after reading this. Now we’re scent twins! It is good.
I don’t think this was a coincidence. Hey twin, you smell great!
What kind of Jazz do you like? Any particular artists?
Music is very cathartic. I’ve been listending to Handel’s Messiah, a favorite of mine, all summer long. It is not just for Christmas (or Easter, as it was originally created for Easter) 🙂
I prefer smooth jazz but sometimes I also listen to lo-fi. No particular artists as most of my CDs are mixed artists.
Great choice for a cold rainy day. You smell nice, Lucas.
Thank you!
Years ago I found Cuir Ottoman somehow underwhelming. Due to my love of leather and iris right now, I think I would like it a lot more.
Are you going to revisit it now?
I’d like to, but don’t have a sample and no shop near me. I only tried it once when on holiday in Antwerpen, Belgium.
I love jazz. i pop in my fave jazz cd in the car whenever i’m in that mood.
Sounds good to me.
My feeble contribution: a yoga teacher played this version of the Kundalini mantra Ek Ong Kar one day during class, and I bought it on iTunes immediately. When I am upset, I play it rather loud. It has several advantages over other versions I have heard: it is 7 minutes long, and you can hear the breathing. The minute it starts, I start breathing slower and deeper.
Youtube version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfeEHs77enA
You can read more about the mantra with a simple google search on “Kundalini mantra Ek Ong Kar” but I admit I know next to nothing about kundalini and I am a novice meditator in any case.
The other thing I did this year is buy the Ten Percent Happier meditation app, and I have been working my way through a few of the courses. It’s been very helpful, although it would be more helpful if it would make the phone give me an electric shock when I hadn’t meditated in a couple days.
Your suggestion is not feeble, it is perfect! Thanks for posting the mantra again as I’d lost track of it. It is mesmerizing.
Thanks for posting this, Robin! I took a kundalini yoga class several years ago, and it did help me feel better, but I couldn’t get past the hippy-dippy song the teacher made us sing at the beginning and/or end. Is that a tradition for this yoga practice, or just that particular teacher?
And thanks for the joke about the electric shock. ? I use Headspace, and I hate seeing the counter go back to 1 when I miss a day (which is fairly often.)
In my experience (of maybe a half dozen kundalini classes, I’m no expert for sure), this is typical. I actually enjoy the chanting but overall kundalini is not my scene. I have friends who love it, though.
Good to know. I might try Iyengar next.
I have been using Headspace for the past 6 years or so. At one point last year I had a run streak of over 1200 days and then forgot to meditate one day. Imagine my disappointment when I saw that count going back to one ?
Thanks for reminding me to go do a Duolingo session to keep my streak going!
?
Woooow! That is incredibly impressive!
If you have an Apple Watch (and it’s likely available for others as well), you can set an alarm daily that will tap you.
I need more than a tap, unfortunately 🙂
Thanks for the meditation video. I listened to a bit, and will listen to some more tomorrow.
I’m comparing Jubilation 25 on one arm with Jubilation XXV on the other. So far I prefer XXV. I might try layering.
I prefer XXV too, and it’s been on my wishlist forever.
I luckily don’t have too much stress and anxiety, but cooking or knitting calms me a lot. I just cast on new socks for the boyfriend.
Scent of the day is Fille en Aiguilles. Dinner will be korean pork belly with gochuyang, cabbage and rice
Your dinner sounds amazing.
Seconding that your dinner sounds amazing.
I cook and I garden (am probably too tanned at the moment!) and find that I get fed up, but not really anxious. Idle hands are the devil’s playthings…
I still have some anxious moments, but I’ve also been cooking and gardening. My moments of anxiety and irritation mostly happen when I go to grocery stores and Walmart.
ha! Walmart is NOT my favorite place. 😉
I love Fille en Aiguilles and can’t wait for the cooler weather and holidays season to wear it. You smell great!
That dinner… ?
You smell great and your dinner sounds good!
Yay for sock knitting! A noble pastime and one that has saved me from my own anxiety many times.
And Fille en Aiguilles always makes me think of knitting. 🙂 I know it’s the wrong association, I’m told the perfume smell of pine needles, but the word “aiguilles” reminds me of my efforts to knit a sweater for a friend’s newborn baby girl. The knitting pattern was hand written in French by my friend’s grandmother.
I like your association with knitting and this perfume
I’m in many spritzes of 4711 Pink Pepper & Grapefruit. Someone else wore it recently, and I found my decant from pixel. Our temps will be back in the low 90’s this weekend, so I might just wear this until we get the next cool front.
To stay calm, I listen to music, specifically albums I’ve heard a thousand times over: Carole King Tapestry, Stevie Wonder Songs in the Key of Life, James Taylor’s Greatest Hits, that sort of thing.
Another suggestion….I give myself permission to break up tasks if I want to. Cleaning out an entire room is overwhelming, but working on it for a couple of hours a day is doable. I recently cleaned out several junk drawers in the kitchen after telling myself I only had to work on one. I was proud of myself for getting on a roll! We need to be gentle with ourselves. Now Is The Time. ?
Yep nl, break it into small manageable chunks.
That’s a good idea about manageable chunks. If I could only resist the urge to list them all out in a very long list… 🙂
I know, I find the list daunting….but breaking up the projects does work–I spent an afternoon going through all of my jewelry (not that I am going any place to wear it). It helped remind me of wonderful trips, where I bought artist made creations as a souvenir, and it helped me thin out a surprisingly large collection of rhinestones!! My nieces will get a few “gifts” in their Christmas stockings and some well find its way to a yard sale. Next, tackle the purses and scarves!!
Ahh, I need to tackle my jewelry box, too. Maybe in a few weeks. Thanks for the reminder! ?
I have always made my to-do lists by day and I have always done chores I dislike in chunks, so one chore might be spread over 3 or more days. (It makes my husband crazy, but I say why be bored for so long all at once when you can spread it out)
Good morning nsters.
Slept 10 straight.
As someone who has struggled with depression for long periods of time, I decided years ago with help from a beloved therapist and medication to tell my story. And that has paid itself back by so many people saying it gave them courage to find help.
So yes, do what you need to get better. Yesterday I got Botox and that made me feel much better!
Today I will test TF peach ? get a mani pedi and mail off a pair of earrings I sold on the bay of e.
You smell wonderful – Natori has the best scent bubble!
Ooops – comment to Shari G *blush* but do report back on Bitter Peach, apsara!
? Scent bubble is the right phrase for it, for sure!
Good for you, aspara! I have been struggling more with my depression lately, and have found myself having to ask for help a lot more. But it’s worth it!
Do report back on the TF! I want to sniff it, since I love peach. I haven’t been downtown to my NM in so long, I don’t even know if it’s still there, lol!
Here’s my humble opinion of TF bitter ?
15 minutes maybe of just peach and then ….nothing.
Hmm, I guess I won’t be in a rush to sample, then, lol!
Thank you for the report and now I can wait patiently to test. I hope your mani pedi went well, too!
Good sleep is extremely important, so it’s great you managed it.
Please report back on the perfume you’re testing: I’m a fan of TF, but peach in perfumes is usually not for me.
“usually” means you’re willing to try it ?
You know me so well :)))
I too slept 10 hours last night, interrupted once (and blissfully) by the splashy sounds of rain through the open window. I got out of bed and sat by the window breathing all that lovely wet clean air in for 10 or 15 minutes, then closed the window, crawled back into bed and was out in seconds.
SOTM is Natori, and tea is a rather strong latte (new beans). ☕️
Mmmmmm clean fresh air.
Indeed! All the plants in the yard look sparkly clean now too.
I slept 10 hours as well. Guess I needed it. Sounds like a blissful night for you. ?
They say one can’t really make up a sleep deficit by sleeping longer one single time, but it sure feels like we can sometimes!
I know! I just tell myself they’re wrong on this one. ?
Yeah I think this is one with which I respectfully disagree with the sleep researchers, likely because sleep doesn’t work the same way for everyone? I need to average a certain amount of sleep over the course of a week or I get sick and overwhelmed, but it doesn ‘t need to be the exact same amount every night. After a lifetime of sleep problems, I have this down!
I love the sound of rain in the night. I remember thinking that it would have been great if it was raining while we were asleep and then again during the work day while we were in the office, but had pauses for us to get to and from the office 🙂
Yes! If only we controlled when it rains. ☔️ I read a dystopian novel by Ira Levin years ago – think it was called This Perfect Day – in which the government made sure it only rained at night. Of course, it made sure of a lot of really bad things too.
I sleep much better on rainy nights when I hear the raindrops on the windowsill.
I’m so glad mental health issues are more in the open now, thanks to courageous people who share their stories. I’m not so courageous yet, but maybe some day I will be. My ex-husband judged me hard on it so that didn’t help. Now I’m often afraid no man will accept me as I am.
I have a lovely colleague with a very accomplished husband who tells everybody within earshot that she is on “industrial strength” anti- depressants. Ironically, I think that she is one of the sanest and funniest people that I know.
The people who are dealing with their issues are so often the sanest in the room!
What a lovely pair they must be! Thank you!
Same here, Hilde. That’s why he is an ex.
There is also a sense of relief in that, isn’t there? Hug!
Keep working on healing your wounds, and try not to worry about what may or may not happen: we, people, are so strange in matters of the heart, so the most unexpected candidates find who they are looking for and the most obviously “worthy” ones stay alone (quotation marks are used not ironically but because I can’t find a better term). So one never knows what would happen but should hope it’ll happen the way they need.
Thank you very much Undina, I’ve finally learned to appreciate the time being single and no longer see it as wasted time. But still I hope for a new love someday…
Hilde, when I start thinking in that way I sometimes remind myself that self-acceptance is what is of real importance. Not that this is necessarily EASIER but it does put the ball back in the right park. Hugs!
You are so right!! Thank you, I do like my own company nowadays! Hugs to you too!
But you did share your story here. That is a courageous first step.
I did, didn’t I? ?
My secret weapon is reading NST! I don’t have the mental energy to read the things that I’m usually interested in (history, economics, biographies), but even reading about someone else’s dinner takes me outside of my own life. Also, wearing the perfumes that are like hugs from all the strong, motherly women that came before me like Cabochard and La Nuit.
I’m with you on reading NST as a therapy. But I cannot read about food: it makes me hungry! 🙂
NST is definitely therapeutic!From laughing together to realizing that some people have problems I am glad I don’t have to deal with,I appreciate this corner of “real”!
?
Yes! And everybody is so nice to each other: heart warming!
NST is a wonderful oasis of perfumed kindness! It has been a lifeline for me some days.
I second that!
SOTD Sira des Indes, inspired by Johanob’s enjoyment of it yesterday. I’m taking it in slowly. I blind bought it quite some time ago, tried it once, liked it, but never thought more about it. Also thinking about Jessica’s Brooklyn Brainery Zoom Making Scents of Studio 54, which held many gems of history and culture, but I especially liked her rabbit trail from Opium’s launch after-party to controversies around Opium itself. That touched on whether “oriental” is a proper name for a family of scents, and what other name would be descriptive. Silk Road was mentioned and I liked that. On a personal note, I was put off by Opium’s advertising back in the day. I was struggling to finish my education and get a job, so I did not know much about it, but it got mentioned in my French class. I thought it was a bit gimmicky, and could not have afforded it anyway. BTW, over 30 years later I got a vintage bath silk in a random lot, and wow, did I then understand why it was such a hit.
Hi Mossy, You smell great!
I still refuse to use perfumes with names related to drugs: I disagree with trivializing narcotics or romanticizing their effects. I’m fine with Poison though (as a name – I still don’t like perfume itself 🙂 ).
I agree. Dior Addict comes to mind.
Oh wonderful!I enjoyed the drydown of Sira des Indes so so much yesterday!I love it when I find new nuances to a perfume I was ready to dismiss!Glad I gave it a second chance!✌?
Happy weekend, all! I’m in Myrrhiad again because I enjoyed it so much yesterday. I think my DSHPerfumes samples may arrive today and I’m so looking forward to them. I’ll post about them as I try them.
My de-stressers: reading mysteries like the Elly Griffiths series, reading about perfume (so NST for sure), reading NYT food and Food52 and then cooking, yoga, walking, walking and walking. I also listen to classical music. I grew up with classical and opera (my parents choices) while I preferred rock. These days, the classical is much more appealing.
Keep waffling on subscribing to NYT’s recipe access. It bugs me that they want an additional weekly fee for the privilege. Love looking at the “What you get” and “The Hunt” columns in the real estate section.
Oh, and By the Book this week features David Byrne of Talking Heads fame, who has Perfumes: The Guide on his nightstand. Not so much because he’s a perfumisto, but because he loves Turin and Sanchez’ writing.
Yes, I know. I think all newspapers are struggling. I don’t have a subscription to NYT – only the food part (someday I’ll have both).
I do recommend it if you like cooking. I really enjoy Sam Sifton’s writing – he has been another source of strength during the pandemic.
SotD is MH L’Air de Rien, because I think someone mentioned this recently. I found a decant when I was doing my perfume wardrobe changeover, and discovered I really love it. Very comforting.
And guess what else I discovered? A deal I couldn’t pass up for a bottle on FragNet. ? At least I didn’t buy unsniffed this time.
Off to meditate now.
Well do tell us what the bottle was!
Sorry I was unclear – L’Air de Rien.
Oh I was probably the only one who didn’t get it, ha!
Nah….?
I think L’Air de Rien is very comforting, too! FragNet twins here, except mine was *technically* a blind buy, though I had triangulated with trusted reviewers….I think Donatella can explain how that works :). You smell wonderful! I must admit I misread the name for quite some time, thinking of it as “L’air de (la) Reine,” a reference to Ms. Birkin’s uber hipster status, LOL!
Oh, I’m sure Donatello is familiar with that theorem. And I love your misreading – Reine works for me! I might enjoy walking around with the air of a queen.
Donatello… the Middle-aged Fragrant Ninja Turtle? ?
?
MH L’Air de Rien is rapidly becoming a unicorn perfume here in the States.
I’ve been struggling with anxiety this year and it’s still a struggle. But I’ve been finding a few things that help center me: staring at a lit candle, making and drinking a cup of tea without doing anything else at the same time and taking frequent breaks from being online (for recreational purposes – I have to be online to teach.).
Moving into the new house and unpacking has helped, because it brings order out of chaos. Too bad all the boxes are empty!
It may sound odd, but our new yard is wooded and I’ve been touching trees a lot to help get centered. Just putting a hand on a tree trunk while hanging out with the dog has brought me a lot of peace.
SOTD is Lost California by West Third Brand. I’ve really been craving Palo Santo and other incense scents lately.
I like the name of your perfume – will look it up.
Empty boxes after a move is a huge achievement in my book: I know many people who for months lived out of the boxes after changing places.
So during my worst times, Sistine, my therapist would just ask me to go 15 minutes at a time. And then another 15.
Little by little, bit by bit, I strung time.
When he died suddenly on a Saturday morning, I used what he had taught me to go little by little, bit by bit.
Oh aspara that is horrible to lose your therapist that way. Mine of many years had to retire suddenly because of health issues and it has been really difficult for me, even with the help of another, very good psychiatrist. I was away for a month when it happened and I didn’t see him again and it was just awful.
It was awful. It was worse than anything I had experienced and it was very much a private grief.
I like to think in his dying it prepared me for more to come, because none of us come out unscathed.
I miss him daily still.
Apsara – same happened to me in 2016 after seeing my T for 8 years. It hurts as its a pretty intimate relationship – but as far as the world is concerned it’s just a professional one so… one does not get the kind of social support one otherwise would. It’s a strange and uniquely heartbreaking situation.
Merlin, it was such a hidden grief.
I knew him for 13 years. Now he has been gone for more than that. His children are grown, his oldest daughter became a therapist.
I am so sorry you have gone through this.
Touching trees totally makes sense to me. I also have a little bit of a big rock thing that works similarly. Truly calming.
Yes to big rocks, outcroppings and so forth. I’ve never found a perfume that captures that sun-warmed mineral smell which is very comforting.
Burning a B&BW Hot Cocoa & Scream candle and sampling two from Gallagher: Rosé All Daé and O’Fraiche.
I am enjoying Rosé…kind of a mulled wine w/ honey, apple and spices. I went w/ O’Fraiche for the tobacco but it also has orange blossom. Orange blossom can be overwhelming to my nose…their Bergamust has lots of orange blossom too. But I shall endure.
I bought their sample set a week or two ago and they sent me a $10 off code this week…wondering if I should wait and see if a better offer and/or sale comes around before I pull the trigger on a bottle of Wicked Good.
The past week or two I have felt particularly overwhelmed between work and life. My usual strategies are walking, perfume, reading good books and escapist TV series.
I think I will start journaling soon which I haven’t done in a long time. I was googling journaling on paper (which I have previously done) vs. typing on the computer and most things I read said paper is better. I hate the act of physical writing (probably b/c I rarely do it and have lost practice) and can type so much faster but I can see that the pen and paper route probably offers additional benefits and may be more cathartic.
I am so very grateful to this fragrant group and appreciate all the tips and brave stories shared today. ♥️
Also particularly interested in what apps for meditation and the like people recommend please too.
I like the apps Calm and Insight Timer (I think I prefer this one)…you can select time, music, nature sounds…..lots of variety and some wonderful support for a meditation practice.
I like Calm a lot
Thank you…I will check those out.
+1 for journaling. I recently read a suggestion for this where you just write SOMEthing for the day – it can even be what you made for dinner – doesn’t have to be like the old junior high diary full of feelings – or it can be! I am planning to start as well.
Hi, Spring! Your comment made me think that the three people I know of who keep a diary, two of them for decades, all do the minimalist approach: weather, any appts., “just (a few of) the facts, Ma’m.”
Yes, I googled the difference between typing vs. writing and most people say just to write what comes to mind, stream of consciousness, etc. being fine and people don’t attempt journaling b/c they are too worried about what to write vs. the doing/writing itself. The guy below says to write 3 pages which is based on a book I skimmed on Libby too which seems like a good amount.
https://www.success.com/how-journaling-by-hand-changed-my-life/
Me overthinking journaling:
– ooh, this means I can get a NICE journal because I will be touching it and writing in it everyday (or at least 5 days a week, mmmm ok, if I do it once a week…)
– should I get a bound journal, a 3-ring, small, medium, large? Maybe I’ll stick with medium because I can write big to fill the page or no, I shouldn’t stress myself to fill up the page.
– if I use a pen, I have to make sure that the ink won’t bleed to the back of the page or God forbid, the next page!
– oooh, now I have to buy the perfect pen….
LOL – the agony of being detail-oriented. I feel your pain. ?
Yes, I was thinking all the same thoughts but was at Target yesterday and picked up a college ruled composition book for 50 cents. 🙂 I figure I will start there w/ a regular pen and move up to a nicer journal and set of pens later.
The person below suggested writing at 3 least pages etc. and just about whatever comes to mind etc. There are lots of articles about the benefits and just how the process/act itself is the important…less the planning. I am kind of a planner?but I stream of consciousness is appealing too.??
I have also been doing Joys and Concerns w/ my daughter before bed where we talk about what we are are grateful for/worried about which has been helpful and interesting.
https://www.success.com/how-journaling-by-hand-changed-my-life/
Actually, seriously, I read somewhere that listing things you are thankful for everyday helps, be it one item or ten items.
It’s not music, but it definitely calms me down:
https://purrli.com/
For all you cat lovers out there, check it out. You will likely love it, and there are controls for customizing the type of purr it generates.
I am wearing Tendre Madeleine, which is very comforting.
Omg I just tried it and LOVED IT. Calmed me down so effectively.
Oh wow that is awesome. Thank you for Purrli.
I’ve never really been a cat person, but my dog is certainly mesmerized.
I’m intrigued. It took a while to load and I haven’t yet managed to hear a meow! Once I get it to work, it will boost my kittehs’ lives another notch!
This is darling!
Lol I played this for my cat and she was bumping up against my phone lol.
awww, that’s a happy kitty!
That takes the cake!! I guess it would be a crab cake since it’s for kitties. So glad you shared; I will share it too.
I loved it! It was an interesting experience to listen to it while my cat was purring next to me. Until I saw that site, I haven’t realized the number of “components” of the cat’s purring. And now I keep analyzing what I hear from my cat: is it sleepy? Close or distant? Etc. 🙂 Thank you!
Thank You for posting the purrli link! One of my cats responded to it with a sleepy mew and some purring of her own.
My Laromatica Kulfi oils came in yesterday! I’m wearing the orange blossom variant today, and it smells wonderful, though the kulfi flavors of cardamom and vanilla are overpowering the OB a bit. Still, it’s lovely 🙂 and I’m still pleased to have gotten such a nice present from the fiancé (regardless of how big the hints I dropped were).
He’s listening, so bonus points for both of you.
Those look really fun — curious about the mango too.
I just tried that one on tonight. The mango has much more of a presence than the orange blossom, and it works nicely! If I had to pick one, I’d still pick the original, but this is really nice too 🙂 I’m most curious about pistachio and rose!
Thanks! If it get an uncontrollable urge to buy perfume, that will be on my list.
Ooh, sounds cool! It also sounds like you’re having fun trying the different scents. 🙂 And it made me hungry to think of mango or pistachio or rose ice cream. (lol) I know I’ve talked before about liking vanilla and cardamom flavors, and experimenting with those fragrances. 😀
Take care! 😀
Wine, chocolate, ballet, Bike, friends, books, children, nature, perfume…. they all help me live.
It’s so difficult to have a balance, isn’t it?
Live well lovely people
I haven’t had wine at all since mid-March! My alcohol was 2 tiny bottles of tequila which I added to margarita mix and finally finished the mix after 6 drinks over 2 months.
Hope you’re doing well!
Well alcoholism has risen here in Spain ?
Hope you’re able to travel soon, take care!
I think it has risen everywhere. And no wonder since Liquor stores are considered essential business ?
Why? I’m just curious about your reasoning. I’m trying to cut down my wine intake now because I want to save those calories for some other indulgences.
I have a pandemic quote for you: Red wine (noun): the glue keeping this sh#t show together.
🙂
LOL! I think I saw that one in an ad for T-shirts. We’ve probably now created a lemming for T-shirts with sayings like that. 🙂
To keep sane taking a walk is essential. I found when we were n lockdown that cleaning was therapeutic.
Making crêpes this evening, always festive. I have been in vintage Calandre all day, it just won’t quit.
It looks like we had similar self-care: walk and tidy up and repeat
Lockdown twins?
I tried LUSH Roasting Chestnuts On An Open Fire shower gel today and it was a big disappointment.If you sniff the bottle it is ok,but once on my skin it amped a distinct smelly foot note.I sprayed some MM By The Fireside to cover jt.Hopefully it is just my skin chemistry and it works better for others.The Yog Nog Body Milk is wonderful on the other hand.
My plan is to celebrate John Prine on his 74th birthday today and remember the wonderful music he left us.
Smelly foot! Thumbs up to your John Prine plan.
Well you saved me blind buying that because I love roasting chestnuts. But smelly feet is not a correct result!
It might be ok with your skin chemistry, it’s worth a try.I’m not sure what note is turning into the weird smell.
Yes I will try to get a sample. 🙂
I have been trying to be gentle with myself, take time each day to sit quietly, as well as time to connect with the outside world (safely, of course)….very slowly trying to “right size” my home and get rid of excess and clutter. And today I make some killer French Toast!!!
How was the French Toast?
I have been craving french toast ao pass some this way lol
https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being
For anyone that likes lite academia, Laurie Santos’ “The Science of Well-Being” is an amazing free course from Yale available on Coursera, for free!
It’s basically a 10-week primer into what science has shown us actually has the greatest impact on our happiness, and the “homework” is trying some of those techniques, so like a taste-test for which may fit your needs and lifestyle.
I did the course this spring when I was DEFINITELY not coping well with 2020 and it helped me a lot in finding some techniques that benefit me versus the ones that I was like “eh, whatever.”
My personal #1 takeaway: Woop method is really great for me making concrete progress on behavioral goals.
In SMN Colonia Russa today wafting lots of petitgrain and neroli, as the temperature jumped from 7°C yesterday to 21°C today.
What is the woop method?
Woop is an acronym for “wish, outcome, obstacle, plan.”
It’s a short exercise in visualizing idealized outcomes AND the most likely roadblocks you’ll encounter for any given goal, before settling on some concrete actions you can take to get around those roadblocks.
Like “when I make myself a coffee, I’ll fill up my water bottle at the same time with something non-caffeinated – so it’s already there ready to drink before I just go make myself more coffee.”
This, since the spring, has helped me moderate my caffeine intake and stay way better hydrated.
I’ve used the template for some big goals and some small, and its practicality appeals to me!
You can find info and a template on http://www.woopmylife.org
This is right up my self-help alley! Thanks for the link
Let’s see, one of the things that helped me was one of my favorite musicians coming out with an album that expressed feelings about the epidemic. All instrumental songs. They are by Trent Reznor, who has won a Grammy, an Oscar and more recently, an Emmy. This is a soothing, ambient type of instrumental called “Together”. It is from the recently released album, which is also called, Together.
https://youtu.be/ehNXOIpRr6c
Commando but..kinda craving SDV, Guelrain so I will spritz from a decant:).
My advice..give your cares over to a power greater than yourself, and be easy on yourself:).
Trent Reznor and soothing/ambient seem like a strange pair. But I only know his work in Nine Inch Nails.
Yes, I commented below about liking “Pretty Hate Machine” in the 1990s. I also liked a couple of the songs off “The Downward Spiral.” And I liked some Alice in Chains songs, like “Rooster.”
Trying Epices d’Hiver by DSH today. Very pretty but wish it projected more.
Mental Health Day should be more than once a year, IMO. Just as we daily (most of us) take care of our physical bodies our minds need regular care as well. Although not easy, spending time outdoors walking or sitting on a bench (especially in the sun) without listening or reading anything, just quiet, has been an important part of my mental health. Giving my mind time and a space to think and process, or just observe around me, has been especially helpful during the past 8 months.
I think, unconsciously for me, getting some sun is actually very helpful!
Yes to this – mental health is a daily practice like physical health
Taking time to “BE” is sadly underrated, it seems.
I’m in Javanese Patchouli because I wanted to smell it after Tempo yesterday. It’s quite different; brighter, fresher and joyful. I enjoyed it a lot, not sure which one I prefer.
I made some raw vegan chocolate cream today. I’m off sugar since 4 months now and this helps with what was my everyday go to sweet : chocolate!
Congrats on sticking to your no-sugar goal…4 months is fantastic!
Thanks!
I’m reading everyone’s tips eagerly 😀
Unfortunately I am one of those aberrant cases for whom meditation does not seem to work. I have trained myself to practise it at different stages of my life but find that while I come to enjoy the periods actually spent meditating it seems to have a negative impact on periods BETWEEN! I don’t have suppressed unconscious material somehow being released and neither does it seem some transient detox phenomenon… Iv done some reading on the matter but not yet found any plausible explanation.
So, as for what has helped: there is a youtube channel called yogawithadriene that has been quite life changing for me. Anyone here who is exercise phobic should try her video ‘yoga for complete beginners’. I’v also found her videos on neck and upper back stretches to have resolved nearly every headache I have had for the last few years!
The most useful book for managing depression and anxiety that I have found is Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns. It’s decades old now but a really helpful presentation of Cognitive Therapy which teaches one how to identify distorted thoughts.
A recent discovery: I bought a rumble roller foam roller and find that using it on my back makes me feel a bit less ‘stuck’. Actually I think massage is a great for depression and anxiety but in the absence of a personal masseur foam rollers are good!
And…very obviously…I find certain scents very relaxing and uplifting. I’ve also realized that OTHER scents can have the OPPOSITE effect on me so I need to be mindful of what I put on and how it is affecting me.
I love getting massages too! Will check out this foam roller alternative
The rumble roller has these thumb like protrusions which are meant to imitate the fingers of a masseur. However, it can feel pretty aggressive so you need to start out lightly and get used to it!
I believe it…I hurt myself quite badly with a foam roller once!
Nice to hear from you!
World Mental Health Day!
Many advances has been made in the recognition and treatment of “crazy” as an actual disease,and I am thankful for that.
SOTD!Good old icy blast of Paco.I’ve enjoyed it during winter,even more so now in spring.It’s my standby weekend,so far we only had one case this afternoon.
Robin sent me some wonderful advice in a much appreciated email about mental health,and I did implement some practices in my daily routine.Small steps,are my only advice.And cry when you need to.
Happy Weekend!
XO
a simple poem on Instagram,but it says so much on Mental Health day…
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGJ_Mi-nyd-/?igshid=1pn0tn3qzqi0x
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Yes it does, thanks!
And really so glad if my email helped you at all.
It always makes me smile when you wear Paco?
I might have missed it, but did you find a new place yet?
Then I will gladly wear Paco more often,just for you!?
New place,yes and no.There is the PERFECT country cottage with a couple of acres of lush land becoming available,but only next year around March/April.They need to decide to finally also JUST DO IT(and MOVE,lol),so I can start planning.It is kinda up in the air right now,and Lovestosmellgood said I shouldn’t move from my current gorgeous surrounds…she might be right.Lol.That’s the short answer,haha!
Happy Weekend!!
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It’s great to read all the stories of resilience here and my heart is with everyone struggling with mental health. I shared here last winter my struggle with SAD and felt affirmed hearing back from others in this space who also struggle with winter depression.
In Coromandel and Le Lion to compare. To me they are different but Le Lion is definitely my Shalimar! I’m grateful to HJ for this split.
I got the Clarins lip stain based on a mention here. It’s very natural looking but the rose shade I got is not the best for my skin tone. I need something warmer but the orange is too orange
My sister struggles with SAD big time. You are not alone.
Yes it’s so widespread and I wish there was more awareness/more doctors took it seriously. Sending sunny thoughts to your sister
I missed your comments about the Clarins lip stain. I’ll have to look it up. I’m a sucker for makeup, especially lip products.
I have fallen down a lip stain rabbit hole since then- i have tried Revlon and L’oreal’s too since they got good reviews but they didn’t last one coffee. I might try the Dior Lip tattoo next.
Today’s SOTD is Jo Malone’s Grapefruit. Nice soapy/floral-y/powder-y combo, although it made me sneeze a couple of times after I put it on.
What a coincidence that it is WMHD, I was just thinking the other day (and was coming over here to chat about) how my anxiety has been niggling away at (what’s left of ) my little mind; today was somewhat better, but even with my as-little-news-as-possible-while-still-staying-informed policy, I can still feel it, you know? Just like everyone else on this board and elsewhere. I try to get a good night’s sleep, as folks up above talked about, but the most I can get is 4, maybe 5 hours at a time. I’m beginning to agree with what Robin said the other day about having doubts for 2021.
Candles, music, perusing art books, my favorite shows, talking to a friend, You Tube cat videos, my own cat when he goes bonkers, a nice drive along a scenic road, bird and other animal watching, these are a few things that I find helpful.
Keep doing what works for you and avoid stressors, in my opinion, is the right way to get positive results.
Hang on in there!
Yoga is so helpful, it is difficult for me to practice without a studio. I have started to attend classes again but keep my mask on the entire time and I try to go to the first class of the day figuring the air and the place are the cleanest first thing. So I have had a perfume epiphany. I love mainstream, commercial fragrances. I have been dabbling with niche and independent perfumers for about two years now and finally came to the conclusion that Halston Z-14 is still 100% better than 99% of the new things I try. This is entirely a subjective journey, I understand. The other thing that happened was I fell in love with most of the offerings of L’Artisan after having dismissed many of them as well, boring and mainstream. Also, I watched Smelling Great Fragrance Reviews with Dana from a Nose Knows on YouTube, 19 Awesome Cheapies and it was cathartic. All my tumultuous thoughts and desires about perfume got a powerful reset. I still want to support Niche and independent perfumers but for now I will stick to this side of the pond. I still believe that Chris Rusak is an amazing talent and that his perfumes will stand the test of time. But I am most throughly done with trying to smell it all. It is just not physically possible and frankly, new perfumes are often not better or more satisfying than my beloved beauties from Guerlain, Bvlgari or Estée Lauder. I enjoy what I have and I cut my perfume teeth on the excellent lists found on this site. So, I shall be culling my perfume herd more aggressively and maybe selling some and trading others. Maybe I will leave this earthly realm without ever smelling a JAR perfume and I am content with that.
Great comments, SK – I had to have that “done with smelling them all” moment, too. I do have a strong interest in learning about traditional and historical fragrances (and all the ancient ingredients still exist of course) so I still follow niche perfumery. But as far as my happy scent cloud, I am an Estee Lauder fangirl all the way.
I’ve wondered about Halston Z-14 and have been watching minis on ebay for a long time. May hit buy now!
Great reminder that it is not necessary to chase all the latest or niche perfumes out there. Wear what you love!
I have long since given up on trying to smell everything, and I’ve also found perfume much more enjoyable since I decided to pretty much ignore new niche lines…I enjoy perfume more without the constant need to acquire samples.
And I would substitute Diorissimo, of course, and say the same thing…it’s better than almost everything out there 🙂
SOTD = Guerlain Mon Guerlain Eau de Parfum Intense
This is the best flanker and hands down better than the original. There’s a bright licorice open and then becomes a warm vanilla tonka lavender patchouli number.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGLx3XdhM84/?igshid=84yavochz5v6
World Mental Health Day ?. Other than a brief month or so respite from Instagram because I couldn’t stand hypocrisy, I don’t deliberately do something to heal as I don’t think anything is broken. I do keep busy with work, try to go out for a walk if I can get out early enough and walk for at least 2 miles (will be a problem as the days are getting shorter which means I have to get some sun mid-day on my deck), participate in livestream church as well as Zoom sniff-alongs. And shop!
While I enjoy the flanker a lot, I prefer the original and like Mon Exclusif even more. But I do enjoy it an awful lot more than the other flankers. And I loathed the Rose one.
I find myself shopping more (online), but other than that, with the amount of work I have, “nothing is broken” corresponds to my assessment of my personal situation. Well, it doesn’t mean that there’s nothing I’d like to try to change, but it’s not connected to what’s happening around me.
I haven’t tried Intense. Do you think it’s better and/or different than Exclusif?
Also wanted to thank you again for the Wicked Good which I am wearing today. 🙂
Did you buy a FB of it please? I debating between the small and large bottles b/c it is more natural ingredients wise I think and wondering if the larger size might go off if I don’t go through it fast enough. I usually don’t worry about stuff like that but it does purport to be more natural. I also like Rose All Dae which I tried yesterday…it’s very similar to Behold Patchouli in the drydown. Not sure if you’ve tried that one yet.
Oooof, licorice. A difficult note for me. It always makes me go “Get it off!”
I love how the table matches the bottle in the picture!
Make sure to get some good gripping boots if you will be doing all that walking come winter.
I thought it was ironic when I saw in the post that it was World Mental Health Day. I was not having a good mental health day at all. Mom needs to find a hobby that keeps her mind involved and keeps her calmer. I need to stop stress shopping, because that gives her one more thing to criticize.
I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned that I ordered a lot of flower bulbs. The other day I went to a local Home Depot and got a lot of flowerpots and such for planting the tender bulbs in and transplanting some of the jasmines and geraniums and other houseplants-in-the-North type of tender perennials that have been living outside for the summer.
I got a big roll of hardware cloth to protect the plants that will stay outside, and Dad said, “You don’t need that. All the bad animals have gone away.” About half an hour later, we saw a large groundhog on the ramp in front of one of our sheds. Colonies of groundhogs live under both of the sheds we have, and have been trying to dig under the house. Dad kind of changed his tune to: “Maybe keep the hardware cloth after all.”
Squirrels have been digging into the soil of every potted plant I have. I’ve marked pots with lily bulbs in them with labels that say “lily,” and it’s like the darned rodents can read, because they know there are tasty treats in those pots. (Yes, I know it’s likely their sense of smell that tells them there’s something they find yummy in those pots.) I think I’ve mentioned before that the hard plastic labels I have that say “daylily” have toothmarks on the labels.
Anyway, aside from the hungry rodents and rabbits and deer, gardening is relaxing. I transplanted a poet’s jasmine plant that had gotten very large over the summer into a good-sized hanging basket without causing the plant too much damage. It still has buds opening. I planted a lot of freesia bulbs in May, and they’re all sprouting now. (Why right now?) I’ll find homes for them.
Cooking is also relaxing. Mom has an “I don’t want to cook, but I don’t want to give up control of the kitchen” thing going. But aside from that, it’s relaxing. Dad appreciates my efforts, anyway. I cut the pancake recipe I have so I make a third of the original amount, and it’s enough to make about a dozen little pancakes — enough for two people.
My mood got better after I made the pancakes and brought in the jasmines that I got this spring and a lemon-scented scented geranium (P. crispum).
I know I need to stop using online shopping as a way to relax. I did that before the pandemic, too. But gosh, it’s so much easier than leaving my own bubble and venturing out. I also need to stop watching the news. As much as I like watching late night CNN, the news has been way too wacky lately, like it’s surreal. I’ll leave it at that. Just in general, though, I feel that this year has gotten stranger and stranger.
I need to go back to watching videos of moon jellies and sea otters and puppies. Much more soothing than the news. And above, someone mentioned listening to Nine Inch Nails. I found listening to “Pretty Hate Machine” soothing in a cathartic kind of way back in the early (mid?) 1990s. That was before I’d seen Nine Inch Nails videos, but that’s another story…
I think I’m hanging in there relatively well, considering how I am during more “normal” times. But I think a lot of people are finding 2020 a weird year, and feel anxiety about the pandemic and all.
*Hugs* to those who need or want hugs!
I would add that vids of seahorses are also nice lol. Pancakes and jasmine are always good for the soul:). I have yet to try these pumpkin spice pancakes my friend keeps telling me about and I need to lol. I stopped watching news months ago and I don’t miss it.
Yeah nin vids were pretty crazy and wasn’t a fan of the earlier ones. Lol they have changed a lot since then. They matured basically lol.
Yes, the pancakes and then enjoying a really nice jasmine fragrance definitely helped my mood. 🙂 I’ll look into trying pumpkin spice pancakes.
Could you put up a link to seahorse videos? My impression is that they spend a good bit of time with their tails wrapped around an underwater plant, just sort of hanging out and swaying. That sounds like it would be soothing to watch. 🙂
I wasn’t a fan of those NIN videos with the shots that focused closely on creepy-crawlies and were interspersed with those old clips of animal experimentation. *shudders* I tried hard to make the visuals fade in my memory and just be into the sound of the industrial music. The visuals did fade for me, actually, though I don’t think they’ll ever quite be entirely gone. But I have many other visual memories that are much more pleasant and are from more recent years.
Tomorrow — later today — the weather prediction is for rain. I have projects to do that will keep me inside, including trying some other recipes. 🙂
I forgot to say that my scents of the day lately have been of lavender hand cream or lemon hand cream. Nothing to do with any projects, just trying to keep my hands somewhat moisturized.
Take care!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1TpQS8uAUE0
There ya go:)
Thanks! 🙂
That fit with my impressions of seahorses hanging out and swaying. (lol) The first seahorse in the video seemed to have a pouch in front, so I wondered if it was a male with the pouch holding the eggs of baby seahorses-to-be. It was certainly an interesting change of things to think about. 🙂
If you have Netflix, you should check out “My Octopus Teacher”which is about a man connecting with an octopus and has beautiful imagery.
Thanks for the recommendation! 🙂 That sounds like a different kind of thing to watch, too. I like watching cuddly-looking mammals the best, but learning about the many and varied other sorts of creatures that live underwater is interesting to me, also. Apparently octopi are surprisingly intelligent, considering that they’re invertebrates.
Hugs back atcha!
Have you tried either chicken wire or chili powder to keep hungry varmints away from your bulbs? Or maybe black pepper? I’ve heard that chicken wire makes digging uncomfortable.
Thanks for the return hugs! 🙂
The hardware cloth is like chicken wire, but with a weave of 1/2 inch or 1/4 inch, and thicker wire. But yes, very similar idea. 🙂 It comes rolled up pretty tightly, and Dad knows how to manage unwrapping it, and placing it so it stays where we want it to, better than I do. Also I need to remember to wear my gauntlets, so I don’t scratch the heck out of my forearms. That’s a project we’ll hopefully work on soon.
I went to the dermatologist mid-week. All was okay, but I requested that he remove some skin tags and moles that were bothering me. The recovery has been rather painful. I’ve been keeping those areas clean, and the wounds are mostly closed up now. I put lavender essential oil on those spots last night. It did seem to help. My room still smells like lavender, but that’s all right with me. 🙂
Finally a fall day today! It hasn’t even hit 80! Chergui.
We had the best evening yesterday. Went into LA and ate at an Irish Pub and then went to a drive in theater in Hollywood! They were showing Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark. It was a lot of fun.
As far as mental health, I found that as much as I love a cocktail or glass of wine etc, it seemed to be making my anxiety worse so I’m doing Sober October. All of our friends drink at least some and happy hour is always a big deal. I’ve actually struggled with it a bit (was the only one not having a drink last night) but I do feel better overall. Also, making myself exercise or be active always helps me feel clearer and more upbeat.
It was great to have a cool night here and Chergui hits the spot!
There is actually a thing called alcohol induced anxiety, so it can actually make it worse. That drive in sounds fun though:).
Having a drink while being out is not necessarily about alcohol, right? Next time ask for a non-alcoholic beverage in the same type of glass your friends are having their drinks (a juice instead of wine or iced tea in a bear glass. It might be easier mentally.
I love the Indiana Jones movies.
I hadn’t heard of Sober October and it’s too late for me ehaeheh but I could sober Oct 15th to Nov 15th? I agree it’s good to take a break from things and see how you feel.
I’ve noticed that if I am upset or sad, I don’t go anywhere near alcohol. Maybe some Mocktail recipes would be a good idea?
My cocktail game is really on point right now lol!
*mocktail haha
Oh, mental health and self care. It’s been a rough 45 days for this. My husband unexpectedly told me that he wants to end the marriage. And then he took it back. And then he took that back. And so on. 2020 has not been good to me, but with all honesty, I’ve had such a great life that it almost seems fair to hit a wall. I’ve been so lucky for so long; I’ve had more than my share of luck.
So, here’s what I’ve learned about self care and mental health:
1) tell people if you are hurting. I’m surprised by how kind and supportive the world has been. people have been so kind, even people who I would have expected to be mean. Many days, this kindness has been a balm to my soul.
2) skip the alcohol
3) make the bed, raise the window blinds, and open the windows. If possible, get a bird feeder. Sunshine and nature are great medicine for me.
4) I really like the Waking Up app. It has a great “lesson series” in meditation that is amazing. And it has great talks about some big subjects too. I can share free 30 day invites if anyone wants one, no credit card required.
5) therapy is great. CBT helps me discover negative thoughts that aren’t accurate anyways.
6) Buddhism has been a big help. I’ve discovered it to be a nonreligious study in how to open to the world and move through tough timesaver d act in ways that align with my values.
7) I’m considering getting a lot of plastic plants for the house for when the leaves drop. I really feel sad in the winter without leaves. I’ll let you know if that works!
Many hugs to you all!
I love your number 3!
I’m so sorry I skipped reading the preamble to your list. Just read it now prompted by the comments below. Wishing you strength
I second your number 2 and 3.
I’m sorry for your rough year. No matter how lucky you have been, it’s not right to have your feelings and heart toyed with. I’m glad to see you here, and wish you strength and peace. ?
Thanks lilyjo.
He’s having a tough time. I think it’s maybe a mid life crisis.
I agree with lillyjo. You don’t “deserve” this setback simply because you’ve been fortunate up until now. Often people who have a lot, are also people who give a lot both of their time and money.
I’ve posted here about so many of our friends getting divorced after 20+ years of marriage. Lots of NSTers responded that they don’t regret getting divorced at all.
You never know how things are going to work out for you. Perhaps it will be a bright new start.
Adding two more!
8) I spend too much time on my phone. I recently heard about grayscaling the screen and it’s been hugely helpful for giving up that addiction. I think it’s only easily available on iPhones, as a disability adjustment, but it has helped me cut my screen time in half.
9) I deactivated Facebook which was just a toxic pool of negativity for my soul lately, with a lot of politics and division.
Oh,Facebook has been looong gone,such a waste of an originally great platform,in my opinion.
I only “lurk” on Insta,because there are some awesome creatives and local artisans I love to support.Don’t have a profile and never will again.Best decision ever,to slightly go off the grid on social platforms.
Sending you hugs. I got told in December – after seeing someone for 10 years that he needs to ‘think about it’ and it then took him another 6 week (3 of which I spent in a clinic) to come to a final decision to end it. I think the most strangest part is the occasional sense that the last decade just didn’t happen at all – I’m just somehow older and wearier…
I am sorry to read this.
We should really talk sometime.
Sending an awkward hug.?
I understand— but likely, hopefully, you’ve grown into a more authentic a d stronger version of yourself in the last decade. And that’s a big deal!
Hugs
Great big hugs to you. I love your suggestions and am going to check out Waking Up…will email you if I want to embark on the 30 day trial.
Sorry to hear that, gvillecreative! Thanks very much for all the great ideas, and good luck.
I am so sorry to hear about what is going on with your marriage. I have to agree with the posters who have responded that no one deserves to get jerked around.
Sending so many hugs to you. Also so many on your list resonate with me and help me as well. Take care of yourself.
gvillecreative, that sounds so tough — I love that you have such an optimistic list of advice anyway!
I am curious to hear if your plastic plants help. I decided I would need extra greenery this winter and went a little overboard buying plants on etsy, and if half of them die I will wish I went your route!
I have daily stress that revolves around money and caring for my kids. I’ve recently been knocked down hard financially, and it was hard not to just stay down this time.
Sometimes I just get really tired of the fight. Over the years, I’ve found it helpful to give myself a time limit to wallow and gather strength. It could be a few hours or a few days. I’m also a big believer in taking a shower and getting dressed even if there is nowhere to go. Also going somewhere/anywhere just to get out.
I also have Faith and hope. I think that’s really important.
Sotd is Noir de Noir, thanks to a generous Nster. ?
My brother, who is bipolar and hits very low lows, is a great believer in having a shower and getting dressed. Though not religious at all, he lovers quoting this verse: “Let your clothes be white all the time, and let not oil be lacking on your head.” (Eccl 9:8)
I’m sorry about your financial troubles. I hope that they will pass.
That’s a great verse!
I think you deserve a medal as a single mother, Lillyjo. Hugs.
Thanks Aurora. Technically I’m not a single mom now that I’ve reconciled with my H. However the weight is still mine to carry.
That’s the thing about life,online…offline…I never would have guessed you were under such pressures,from your uplifting and upbeat persona on here and usually making me laugh!
Sending a HUUUUGE hug over the oceans.
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Hugs received! I have stress, true.. but I absolutely count my blessings and really am thankful for every day. Some days stink but other days are fantastic. You just never know.
Sending love and hugs, Lillyjo! ????
I think it is time for a GROUPHUG!!!????
HUGS!!!!!! ???
Double hugs!❤
I am also a believer in showering and showing up. I have talked w/ friends/coworkers how a lot of life/work success is often just about showing up and being ready/on time. Sending you more love and hugs as well!
Not making the effort, just makes things worse, imo.
Such great advice, lillyjo — thank you! I admire what you are doing and always appreciate hearing from you here.
Aww, thank you. That really means alot!
You are such a kind and upbeat person, and it sounds like you are rolling with the punches as best you can. Hugs.
See my comment to you about laughter. It’s a must!
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You smell mahvelous, dahling! I don’t know what accent that is, but in my head it’s quite fancy haha. Hugs to you, my fellow TF fangirl.
Tom Ford and I appreciate the accent!
Sorry I didn’t post yesterday as it was a busy day yesterday. It’s tough dealing with depression and anxiety. Health insurance only seems to allow only so much therapy and medication for it. Half the the therapists they say you can see aren’t very good. So it seems like health insurance wants to make it worse.
I am hoping that tomorrow that I will finish another candle and start a new one on Tuesday. Teakwood Mahogany has gotten a little irritating. Spending the morning in Dia woman but will be switching to something different today.
Could the therapist suggest things to practice to tide you over to the next session?
We have been working on strategies to help me cope and make life better for me. A couple things we have tried have worked to some degree but some have not. It’s been trial and error and Covid isn’t helping. I had to basically quit watching even the local news. Covid news, election news and the 2nd stimulus package drama is causing way too much anxiety.
Now is a great time for a news fast! Looking forward to hearing about your next candle, Dawn!
No need to apologize about not posting.
What I find so rewarding and relaxing are my many green-babies! I’m at my computer 8 hours a day working from home, so it’s a pleasure watering and tending to my houseplants at the end of the day. Hopefully they are contributing to cleaner air in my apartment and during the winter months they provide a real sanctuary.
If you have difficulty with meditation maybe hand drumming might help. It’s part of so many cultures around the world. Drumming the rhythm of a heartbeat is a way to start this practise.
Thanks for these neat ideas, viridiaan!
You’re welcome nozknoz! I thought of something else after I posted. I’ve been reading mostly biographies or memoirs this year. As a single person living alone during the pandemic I noticed it was quite therapeutic, as if someone was with me, having a conversation and sharing their feelings.
Any tips for indoor plant varieties?
Hi gvillecreative! I’m lucky in that I have southern and western exposure so my plants do really well with such light. I would recommend ZZ plants, Pothos, Peace Lilies, different varieties of Jades, Snake plants and Cactus. There’s lots of info online and usually when you buy a plant there’s that little tag in the soil with the name and care instructions. I don’t do much more than remove dead leaves, mist them and top up the soil if needed. I use Schultz liquid plant food diluted in water.
One thing to remember is to check that the plants you choose are safe/non-toxic if there are children or pets in your home. As for cruel or dithering spouses/partners? My inner Edward Gorey wickedly fantasizes “oh don’t worry about them!” ?
2020 has been the toughest year I have had recently. First, my divorce and my mother’s health news hit me very hard in January. February was extremely challenging at work. In March the pandemic arrived and the lockdown and starting working from home sent me very deep into a dark hole. Depression and anxiety finally took over and for many days I was terrified of everything. Still I am. Between April and May, the worst months of the pandemic here in NY, my doggie Yei ended up admitted in the emergency room two times for several days. I thought he was over. Besides that so many other personal, family and work issues to deal with. I am not counting all the bad news in the country and overseas that continuously add to the stress. I have really bad emotional days, but I cannot afford to dwell in them for too long. I have to take care of my sick mother and dog and work and I need to be strong. If I go too deep everything would be chaos.
I always pray, pray a lot and sing. I don’t have a beautiful voice, but singing anything that comes to mind relieves me greatly. I have also been taking long walks, watch mostly the Food chanel when I have time and reduce the amount of news I read. Having the opportunity to spray lavishly on different perfumes in one single day has been a great therapy. I have finished many samples, decants and full bottles. Sampling has been productive and I have had the opportunity to start purging my collection and keeping only what I love. I am still in the process and it is fun. NST is my bright and cheerful reading every day. I escape from stress when I read everyone’s comments, no matter how sad or happy they are. I can relate to many of you and feel that I am not alone dealing with bad moments.
Another drastic move that I made was blocking all my text messages and phone calls, except for the most important ones coming from doctors, work and immediate family members. I cannot deal with the rest of the family and friends in a direct way right now. If anything, I can always be reached by email, which I check few times a week and gives me the chance to answer at my own pace. I am handling many stressful situations at once and I need my time and space to adjust and feel more comfortable and not get despair.
I am usually very busy at home and so many projects that I thought I could accomplish while being home have not been done yet. I should take NancyLeandros tip to do just one drawer at a time, one closet at a time…., etc.
I am also counting the blessings that so far my family and I have not been touched by Covid. Praying that it stays like that. Also, that working from home has allowed me to stay safer and take care of my mother and doggie in a direct way now that they most need it. And that after 7 months I still have a job and also praying that it stays like that.
Wearing Safran Troublant today, burning a BBW Pumpkin Carving candle and ready to take a long walk and get an iced coffee on the way.
Happy weekend everyone! ?
Big hugs to you! Being a caretaker is so difficult and takes alot of patience.
Prayers to you and your family. ?????
What lillyjo said! <3
Thanks!?
Thank you, Lillyjo! We will survive! ?
We will! And be better for it!
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I emailed you some time back,M,hope you got it!
Sending perfumed hugs!??✌?
I didn’t get it! Sending hugs back! ???
I sent to your a o l addy,just re-sent!XO
Looking forward to it! ?
More hugs to you. Care giving is very tough as lillyjo said.
Thank you, She-ra! Sending hugs back! ?
Care giving with requires so much time and energy. It’s such a smart decision to limit text messages and news, and the other things you are doing sound so constructive.
We know so much more now than we did last spring is how much of a difference masks, distancing, and avoiding crowds can make. Also doctors have learned so much about treating Covid, and death rates have fallen. Consequently, I’m not afraid like I was then, while still taking every precaution, of course.
It’s still tough, but not terrifying.
Thanks for your ideas, and wishing you all the best, perfumelover67!
Thank you, nozknoz! It was so difficult at the beginning of the pandemic! Not knowing if the steps suggested by the health authorities were enough to be safe was very rough. As months have passed and we have learned a lot about Covid, it is easier to go outside following the protocols and feel safer. It looks like a second wave is about to hit the NY again, based on recent data. At least, we know how to handle it in a safer and more responsible way. Let’s hope we will all remain safe and healthy! Sending hugs! ?
You’re right, it’s a very different feeling now. *hugs back* ? ?
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Lots of hugs. Wish we could hug you in person! I think it’s just one step at a time every day. And truly, I see God in so many little things – an iced coffee, a beautiful walk, a funny friend, a kind person at a store, your lovely Yei, etc. May you stay safe and well and fragrant!
Thank you, Springpansy! These days I also find comfort in little things, especially Nature. Sometimes, I grab a bag of bread and feed some pigeons in the park, or I get a smile from someone in the street, etc. It is so comforting and feel God is so merciful. Sending hugs back!
More hugs to you! Being a caregiver is incredibly stressful and difficult. My brother is going thru that with my mom, and I have 2 cats with chronic health issues. Some days are definitely better than others.
Thank you, Jalapeno! Sending hugs back, not only to you, but to your brother also. It is very tough sometimes taking care of our frail parents, but at this stage, I always tell myself that I need to treasure and embrace whatever time is left with mom. It won’t last for too long.
True. Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking…
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After I broke my arm at the end of February, I was having literal panic attacks over how I was going to cope with the broken arm, fear of COVID-19, how to prepare from what I foresaw as the need to self-isolate and potential disruptions in food and other supplies as a result of the pandemic, and the interaction between these challenges.
The first thing I did was to make a list of all the things I was worried about, from how to shower to how to get toilet paper, to how to make a will. Then I brainstormed on each item and listed steps to addressing it, such as finding and setting up accounts for online grocery delivery services.
This is an approach I’ve used for dealing with challenges in the past, and it really helps. As soon as I have a road map and begin to take concrete steps, the negative energy of fear and worry is channeled into action and spent in a constructive way. And even the first step of just putting every fear down on paper starts to get it out of the mind and focuses the response. Crossing items off the list as they are done is the best tranquilizer. ?
teebear provided a resource above for focusing and planning that sounds worthwhile. I’ve drawn more on my professional work planning experiences.
One other thing I try to do is to take things one step at a time. I have a tendency, which is in many ways useful, to think about the trajectory of things that are happening and foresee how it could lead to something bad. That’s useful in making me the kind of person who always fastens my seat belt. But life is complicated, and many forces are in play. I’ve realized I need to focus on what I can do right now, the next step, such as getting a good night’s sleep or voting, rather than catastrophising about the latest development that will soon be supplanted by something else or turn out very differently from what is being predicted. Just put one foot in front of the other, keep moving forward, and try to be kind along the way.
The weirdest way I reassure myself is like this: for example, at one point I was worrying a lot that my arthritis pain would eventually become severe and debilitating, that I might need surgery, etc. But I happened to think that I could be run over by a car while crossing the street and none of that would ever happen. Why worry about it and ruin the present moment? Sounds a bit morbid but it relates to the Buddhist concept that suffering is caused by clinging and aversion.
Hi nozknoz, totally agree that having a plan helps loads. And re your last paragraph, I reassure myself like that, too. Both of my parents experienced dementia in their older years when they were alive. I worry that I will as well. But I also realize that I can worry now and it might not happen, in which case I’ve wasted part of my life worrying for no reason OR I can worry now and it will happen anyway, in which case I’ve still wasted part of my life while healthy. So I try to do things toward good health including diet and exercise–and wearing a seatbelt ;)–and not worry as much. I agree that we can only do our best, moving forward and being kind.
Yes, that’s it exactly. Thanks, springpansy!
How is your arm doing now?
It seems completely normal in everyday life, so I’m very thankful it wasn’t more serious.
When I’m doing certain Pilates exercises, I notice some small differences in flexibility, and less upper body strength generally than before, but both are still improving.
I agree about having a plan. It helps to take one step and know what the other step will be.
Hello All, I have been away all
week due to personal reasons, and have forgotten when the split meet is. (Probably for the best but nonetheless)
Is there a way to quickly search this site ?
Oct 24th. When you first load the site, scroll down – it’s in a pale blue (?) box in the righthand side at the bottom, labeled Upcoming.
THANK YOU very much
Springpansy!
One more SOTD: Grisette. 2 thumbs up.
Timely topic, especially now. Although I would say that the past 4 years have been challenging ones for me. Some of what has happened I have mentioned here, while I have stayed quiet on other things. There have been days where taking a shower would be a major accomplishment.
Some ways to cope:
1. Be kind to yourself and know your limits. Sometimes that will conflict with other people’s expectations or desires. Don’t be afraid to listen to your inner voice.
2. Swear if you need to. ?
3. Comics as needed. They can be light-hearted or serious and are a great way to get outside of one’s head for a while.
4. News and/or current events diet as needed.
5. Kitty or puppy snuggles. ??
6. Low caffeine or decaf beverages. I personally will not sleep very well if I have a black tea after a certain time of day. ☕
7. Treat yourself! Whatever that means to you… be it a small bite of chocolate, a long walk, opening up a new soap or shower gel, and so on. Take joy in small pleasures.
8. Rest if you must… but don’t quit!
SOTD = L’Artisan Voleur de Roses, from the sample stash. I’m now on a patchouli kick.
Yes to your number 3!
I watched just a few seconds of Spaceballs this morning and it just made me smile ? I have to have laughter in my life.
Yes to no5 especially!
Our furry friends are wonderful, aren;t they?
“Spaceballs” is awesome!
Yes to everything, especially to #1. People do not understand how difficult things may be sometimes and their expectations are very high, as usual. Coming from work is understandable, but from friends and family is quite frustrating. That’s what limits need to be set in order to keep sanity, especially when there is nonsense around. Let’s hope for better times to come!
Limits are a sanity saver!
All fabulous suggestions❣️
Hi, I have enjoyed this site for a long time and I have learned so much from you all. I decided that Mental Health Day 2020 was a good day to officially join since I’m both a psychotherapist and perfume lover. I look forward to posting again but in the meantime I wanted to say how much I am touched by and admire your care for one another. I feel fortunate to have found this community. Thank you.
Welcome allo! I hope you’ll join in again — it was late here when you posted and so you did not get a proper welcome from other readers. We do have polls nearly every day!