On a visit to Madrid years ago, I walked inside a Loewe shop and picked up and sprayed a perfume tester. A human shark, made up in the crudely hyper-theatrical style of an amateur touring production of Carmen, ran across the store and grabbed the bottle from my hands. She snapped: “Ask if you want to smell!” as she held the bottle protectively to her breast. My traveling companion looked at me with pity. I imagined him thinking: “Poor Kevin…to be reprimanded in public.” I did not say a word. I did not smile. I turned and walked out of the shop.

Whenever I see the word “Loewe,” that crass sales assistant comes to mind and I want to go back in time and spray that mediocre perfume I had smelled into her eyeballs. Yes, I have a temper…and a long memory! (“Italian by way of Virginia.”)…

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