A while back, shortly after the "Lady Gaga's perfume will smell like blood & semen" nonsense was making headlines, one of the blogs at the Dallas Observer did a (rather snarky) list of fun fragrance possibilities for other famous musicians. One of the kinder examples: used flip-flop and a Boca Burger for Phish.
We're going to do our own list. Any celebrity you like, just name what you think their fragrance should smell like. If you want to assign that celebrity a real perfume too, do go right on ahead.
Your host today is miss kitty v:
A couple very quick rules: please keep it reasonably clean. And if you don't like to read snarky things about celebrities, or if you have a favorite celebrity that you don't like to see insulted, don't read the responses (or if you must read, please don't comment to complain that people are saying snarky or insulting things about celebrities).
Hat tip to Charlotte for sending the link to the original Dallas Observer article.
Beyonce, Eau de Bleaching
Ok, I have to say I don’t know much about Beyonce– can you explain the reference? Maybe I’m the only one who doesn’t get it.
if she continues doing what she’s doing to herself, Gwyneth P & Nicole K will soon seem tanned compared to to her
Ohhhhhhhhh! Got it.
Thanks, Bee! I couldn´t explain it better!
Steve Tyler – Bond No. 9 Brooklyn – I think it would be perfect for him!!
Thanks..Miss Kitty for hosting..this will be fun!!
P.S. Thanks for helping me discover Emeraude.
You’re welcome! (And thank Mals for the Emeraude tip, she’s the one who I learned it from.)
J.Lo – Eau de Nobody’s Bigger Star than Me so Why Does the Camera Spend so Much Time on Steve Tyler??? !
Tara, when the new season of AI started, I was confused and thoughts that Steven Tyler was Paula Abdul. Then when I figured out it wasn’t Paula Abdul, I thought that Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez were the same person.
I obviously am not hip to what’s going on in the world of reality television.
my bb Bill Kaulitz–a soft leather with transparent woods, iris, things of that nature
o wait was this supposed to snarky
OK I will try again making it a bit more literal…
hairspray, iris (to mimic makeup), and leather
not that big of a difference.
Krok, I’m going to have to look up your celebs– I’m old! I don’t know who these people are!:)
Bill is in my gravatar and is basically the most perfect pop star ever but unfortunately most people do not recognize his wonderfulness :'( another example of his perfection: http://oi56.tinypic.com/ot40oy.jpg
He’s all grown up now, isn’t he? I’ve only heard about him, I guess I should listen to some of his music.
yeah, but most people still think he’s 16 >__>
Humanoid (the song, and the German version) is my ~*jam*~
I recommend Geisterfahrer too
and Unendlichkeit because its adorable but Bill was 13 or 14 when he sang it (and it was written without co-writers btw)
Thanks for the recommendation: I listened to him on youtube and was surprised that German could sound so gentle. I became interested in the language by listening to Rammstein, and from learning their songs. I love Til’s voice but could do with a different model for a while!
By the way, Til Lindemann would be gasoline and rubber, perhaps with a tinge of ginger for irony!
I would wear gasoline/rubber/ginger *o*
yeah, Till and Bill have totally different voices.
That’s why he would be a ~*soft leather*~ and not rubber.
Although I could see him as a Bvlgari Black.
Recently he said he likes Hermes but he didn’t elaborate further than that.
I love Cuir Ottoman, but couldn’t imagine Til wearing it – Bill, well maybe. Its got the soft leather at least. I was listening to Bill’s ‘Spring nicht’ on youtube; its an interesting contrast with Rammstein’s ‘spring’ which I love too!
I’m so pathetic and old. I had to look up half the artists on that list.
I never heard of about 80% of them. I’m just not into pop culture.
adam lambert. i think if he had a perfume it would smell like doir poison mixed with the smell of coty powder and some spicy notes mixed it.
I would wager you might be right about this one! Sounds accurate to me.
He’s one of the few celebrities whose fragrance I’d be interested in checking out (if he ever did one).
Britney Spears would be Eau de Cheetos, of course.
LOL!!!
Do the basenotes include hints of public restrooms and urinal cakes?
Just gagged a little.
Lady Gaga: Eau de Freak by Gaga’s Nonsense or Gimme Some Spotlight by the same trademark . The name tells everything…
But i think Eau de Freak could be from Bjork too.
Eau de Freak: fecal notes, menstruation blood (to give some femininity) , semen (to give masculinity and turns the fragrance androginous) , armpit odor and vanilla.
Gimme Somme Spotilight: vanilla, vanilla, vanilla, diamond and gold dust, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate and some vanilla.
would there be any vanilla in that?
LOL
Needs more vanilla.
KKKKK
Jimi Blue: Axe, jelly beans, and polyurethane
(I hope that’s snarky enough >__<)
Another one I’ll have to look up.
Hard to believe no one’s done Charlie Sheen. Eau Intense de Sheen would have a rush of bleach in the opening, followed by tobacco, with basenotes of sweat, copper and, rotted fruit and procaine (dental anesthetic), drydown would be musk with a faint hint of mildew and baby powder.
True, throw in the smell of the “goddesses” porn star and a hefty cocaine base and name it “Winner”.
Don’t forget the undeniable scent of Adonis DNA and Tiger Blood….
which I can only assume from seeing a few photos of him, are terribly aging compounds…
aha, I was going to suggest China White. However, it still seems too sophisticated for him.
Spot on.
Have you seen the Charlie Sheen spoof by Jimmy Fallon on YouTube? Here is a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nH12aIXTfJw
OMG!!! too funny!
Rachal Ray’s would smell like olive oil, garlic, and “often far too bubbly” bubbles. Ha! : )
don’t worry— it’ll only last 30 minutes….
(because, for anyone who doesn’t know, she has several “30 minute meals” cookbooks)
Haha! Hilarious! : )
While we’re on food-related celebs: Sandra Lee – vanilla cake mix, tequila, plastic flowers and polka-dot napkins.
Yes, love it! She drives me batty!
SL just annoys the fire outta me… her show so often seems to be ABOUT her, and not designed to give me any help at all.
(That said, Rachael Ray doesn’t annoy me in the least, so feel free to ignore my whining.)
Except the notes wouldn’t list “olive oil” (like normal people call it)… it would just say “EVOO”.
*snicker* Eau de EVOO anyone?
[Actually, I kinda like Rachel Ray’s cookbooks, but the EVOO drove me mad!]
YES!!! I found that so irritating I stopped watching her!
Good one!
Donald Trump: freshly minted dollar bills, lacquer & resin, gilded lily and smokey woods.
Excellent.
there would be topnotes of younger, gold digging women too, but like most topnotes: they don’t stick around very long….
Zing!
This actually sounds very appealing.
Tom Waits: There’s a smell I used to affectionately refer to as “bar stench” – cigarettes, stale beer, vinyl seats, vaguely moldy carpet – that would waft from the doorways of dank old-man bars (the type that’s probably now frequented by ironic hipsters).
I would buy that! I wouldn’t wear it, but I would buy it.
Oh, that’s easy enough: that’s just what I get from BK Straight to Heaven.
Oh, except it’s rum instead of beer.
Old man bars! That’s the phrase, for sure. I recognize those from my childhood (when they were “bitter, prematurely-aged 30-to-50-year old men” bars).
As for Lady Gaga – I’ll give her Amarige. Loud and flamboyant but without a lot of real depth.
I’ll admit here and now that I love Amarige.
Angelina Joli: Blood Orange, passion flower, bleeding hearts, rice husks, black leather, patchouli, baby powder, rubber. It would be called, Home Wrecker…no, too on the nose? “Repentant”.
I actually love this actress with the bone structure from another planet.
Regardless of what I think of her (and it’s not flattering), that sounds like a fabulous scent. You should market that one!
Ditto! I would a FULL BOTTLE!!
Good description of the slightly alien bone structure!
Eau de Geraldo Rivera…..it would smell of intrigue, industrial espionage, political exposees , and Al Capone’s hidden vaults…..it would be available in 3.3oz bottles..
…but when you open it: it’s EMPTY !!
**this was for the over 35 crowd…**
Thanks, Daisy. As an over 35, that made me laugh.
i don’t care about celebs, but I love you guys, so just wanted to say hello : )
go Miss Kitty go, you are doing a greaaat job : D
Awww, thanks!
Agreed! Miss Kitty, this post is perfect for you!
Thanks!
I don’t know, it seems like I don’t know who a lot of these celebrities are! All this time I prided myself on being into shallow forms of entertainment, but clearly my pop culture knowledge is sorely lacking.
Gwyneth Paltrow: Guinness, chopped salad, Hermes leather, haughtiness.
Here’s a link to clue anyone in to what I’m talking about. http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/7-reasons-why-people-hate-gwyneth-paltrow
I love her movies, I just she’s maybe a bit full of herself!
She really said that? OK, another celebrity I’v lost all respect for… I really liked her in ‘Sylvia’ but then I saw another couple of movies where she did the exact same alluring-but-dangerously-disturbed act and I thought that was a bit weak – taking on similar roles and putting on the same performance…
Can I just say that reading that made my day? I have a friend who loves her, and I’m sending that to her– too mean?
What’s funny is that even though I agree with some of that stuff (many Americans think Juicy Jeans are a topic of interesting conversation)…. it definitely sounds bad in print! I have never really liked her for whatever reason. Maybe her duck lips?
I did like her, but the comments are just so pretentious, conceited, and over the top. If she has no interest in brands then why is she wearing juicy-whatever jeans in the first place. Anyway, the girl could have been using it as an easy ice-breaker at the party; I do that. I mean, you don’t get to know people by tapping them on the shoulder and asking them if they believe in God, read Wordsworth, or are going to vote democratic! That kind of thing comes about a fair bit later. And, just because she has managed to exercise+ look after baby really doesn’t give her the right to make universal pronouncements about how its possible for everyone. Also, I’m neither America, nor America’s biggest fan, but someone should break the news to her that Britain has fallen a bit behind as a world super-power!
uh, I meant I’m not American.
Merlin, if she really said all those things, I’d have to agree with you. Those are such unremittingly smug and ignorant comments, though, that I have to wonder if it isn’t some kind of mean-spirited hoax. Not that I know anything about her aside from the roles she’s played and her red carpet gowns.
Quite often I think there just isn’t any point in having an opinion about celebs – since most of us only experience them through the media anyhow, and that transmission is so unreliable. According to Wikipedia she pretty much denied having made some of those remarks though the magazine continues to insist she did. So far as ‘stars’ go she comes across as relatively refined; a lot of them seem to make a point of sounding stupid…then again, pretentious does ring a bell!
True, we’ll never really know as long as a star has enough money to keep paying the PR firm – and after that we won’t hear anything about them at all.
I’ve liked her acting well enough (although “really f’ing good” is maybe pushing it), but yes, she screams pretentious even if you’ve never read an interview. Just the way she carries herself. And I’m with you/her on some of the sentiments, but why she couldn’t just phrase it as “I love England; I’ve met so many charming, interesting, sophisticated people here” and then leave the rest implied but unsaid…
The only thing I like about Ms. Paltrow is the fact that she doesn’t have fake lips. She’s pretentious, but that hardly sets her apart among celebrities.
She’d probably all think we were shallow for discussing her in the first place.
I love you Gaga! I’m one of your little monsters but your difficult to think of a scent for, I guess your new perfume? no wait = Angel !
it’s loud and a lot of people hate it (I personally love it) and it’s different and has the strongest sillage I’ve ever experienced.
Good one!
I’ve had angel for a long time; I’ve always thought the scent is kind of like a fabulous, tough drag queen. Hyper feminine and rich at first, but you know she could kick somebody’s ass if necessary.
i agree with the statement that lady gaga wears angel. she does wear alot of thierry muglers couture things. so its very fitting that she would wear angel. i love angel. its very fabulous!!i love the fact its a love it or hate it scent, that whats makes it fabulous.i considor it a very edgy scent. its very powerful in a way.
oh great ! I really want to smell like a drag queen :/ naat
I just thought it sweet and foody, but also harsh.
Bono, from U2: an aquatic scent with a strawberry top-note, a heart of plastic-leather and a long dry-down of self-adoration.
lol
***applause***
BRAVO!
Maybe there’s something wrong with me, but a lot of these are sounding really good.
I think we’re an imaginative bunch.
Truly!
LOL – at the “long dry down of self adoration”. Good one!!
But I still want to splash some Prada on him and do some adoring of him myself.
Good point!
I had alway been a huge U2 fan, but was disgusted by Bono’s and Edge’s participation in unsafe production at the Spiderman show. (Flying stunts are not new to Broadway, and a number of “flying shows” ran for years without serious injury).
Is there a not of dying spiders that could be added to your proposed scent?
They have a couple of hits I really like, and Bono has a very nice voice, but I saw them play recently for the first time and Bono acted EXACTLY as he did on this old South Park episode that satirized him…
I haven’t heard of the spiderman debacle; its just his personal presentation, smug remarks, and total lack of wit that apalled me. I think I’d go pour my adoration in a different direction!
I imagine Helen Mirren wearing vintage Rochas Femme.
Perfect!
Having never smelled Femme ( I would like to smell vintage first, but it’s hard to get hold of where I live), I don’t know if I would put her in that. I have always thought of her as wearing Diorella, Le parfum de Thérèse or maybe even Bandit.
Whatever she wears, she is a fabulous actress!
She could certainly carry off quite a range of great scents, Austenfan!
Natalie Portman – blood roses & baby powder. Love her in Black Swan!
Would that scent be Black Swan-specific, or Natalie-specific? Just curious. (I haven’t seen the film.)
I think it would work for her either way
Thanks for hosting, btw… I’m the Charlotte who sent the orig article (blog) to Robin. Scent the celeb is fun!
I’m so glad you did! It’s a lot of fun.
Thanks, Charlotte – I really enjoyed that article and this is a great topic!
For the next two years Natalie Portman will smell exclusively of Miss Dior Chérie, Dior has paid millions to make it so.
Thanks for hosting, Miss Kitty!
I’d like to think Cate Blanchett would appreciate Duchaufour scents, especially Nuit de Tubereuse or Travesee du Bosphore.
And Rihanna graces the cover of Vogue this month in a long, fluorescent red wig, matching lipstick and transparent white, black, and red lace dress. Layer Amarige with Tubereuse Criminelle to match that look!
Oh, man! Amarige AND Tubereuse Criminelle? That’s one hell of a powerful concoction!
Miss Kitty, check out that Vogue cover and you’ll see that only loudest, trashiest scent will do! Rihanna’s stylist makes Gaga look chic and Beyonce a paragon of good taste. He or she has turned Rihanna into a caricature. Shudder!!!!
Check out The Fug Girls’ blog: http://gofugyourself.com/ . It’s “Fug Madness” time there. For those who haven’t heard of it, Fug Madness is the fashion version of the American NCAA college basketball tournament (known as “March Madness”). Gaga is the number one seed in the Bjork bracket and Rhianna is the number one seed in the Charo bracket.
Oh, I am SO going over there….
Thanks for the link, Aparatchick! Rihanna will sweep EVERY category in the Vogue cover dress (and I didn’t even dare open it to see what else was with the article).
I could see (smell?) Cate Blanchett in L’Heure Blue. (sorry about spelling). Her dress to the Oscars was the only one that made me go WOW!
I agree, Merlin – L’Heure Bleue would also be an apt match for Cate.
This is a fun post!
I have designed a celebrity perfume called Soap Box for Bono from U2. It is a soapy fragrance with notes of guinness, moss and leather and will inspire you with the gift of the gab.
Another one that sounds pretty awesome to me…
Second!
That’s so funny – I love his advocacy of worthy causes and NYT op ed pieces, but the shoe fits!
Paula Deen – bourbon, butter and grits………and some vanilla
Lol. Good one, Glrsims.
I love Paula Deen. I could get very happily fat eating her cooking.
She’s a cooking goddess. I adore her!
and actually I see her as someone who used to wear Emeraude all the time and then when she became famous she switched to something a little more “glam”! but I bet she still has a bottle of Emeraude.
YES!
Definately a gourmand scent!
The flanker would be called Paula Deen Graaaaaavy.
Tom Cruise – Marc Jacob’s Big Bang!
Katie Holmes (Cruise) Marc Jacob’s Daisy
– just for the ubiquitous factor
Kristie Alley – Robert Piguet’s Bandit – definitely not timid
Lindsay Lohan – Ava Luxe Flim Noir, stolen of course.
Now you’ve got me wondering what Kirstie Alley really does wear, if anything. I could be making this up, but I swear she’s one of those people who doesn’t believe in using any kind of chemicals, and just washes everything (including herself) with baking soda. So unfortunately I imagine her smelling like a relative of mine who does the same thing: the charming aroma of mildew.
Ooog. I know what you mean about people smelling of mildew.
Isn’t baking soda a chemical? a white soluble compound named (NaHCO3). I understood what you meant. And ewwww, and yuck! So maybe we should recommend something to her like like Acorelle Lotus Bambou?
Haha, Big Bang and Daisy! They work together because Cruise-Katy comes across as such a domineering(Cruise)-submissive(Katie) couple.
Paula Abdul’s scent would have notes of rum-coke-hemp-carrots and greens…and the scent would be named ‘simonstease’.
Now if you know Paula,you’ll understand the notes…{she’s vegetarian} and the rest if all from AI.
Now, I could actually go for a rum-and-coke scent. The carrots and greens– not so much.
Rum and Coca-Cola – could it be achieved by layering? Suggestions, anyone? Maybe Youth Dew, for a cola baseline, and what else?
L’Aromarine Cola Eau de Toilette + Malin & Goetz Rum Tonic! I want some now with a twist of lime!
Oooh! Give me some too!
I would design a fragrance inspired by and for Mike Rowe called:
It’s a Dirty Job: notes of fish guts, sewage, formaldehyde, and grease.
It would inspire anyone who came within ten feet to immediately throw the wearer of said perfume into the shower, and scrub them from head to toe. Thoroughly.
I’m really starting to feel out of it– who is he??
Mike Rowe hosts a show on Discovery called Dirty Jobs – where he shows and works on the filthiest, smelliest, hottest, nastiest jobs in existence.
And many a show ends with Mr. Rowe showering off. This is a very good thing if your taste runs toward handsome adult men and not pretty boys
He also narrated on “Deadliest Catch.” That was for the fish guts.
Perfect, Marsha!
Hmmm, Mike Rowe – love him!
Me too. My boys are fascinated with Dirty Jobs… I just have to “beep” it myself for them and remind them that those are words we do NOT use.
just daydreaming here, what should Javier Bardem smell like? something smoky-musky-woodsy and very skanky, a cocktail of absolue pour le soir + MKK + lonestar memories?
He’s not my normal type, as many here would attest to, but I do find him enticing. I love MKK, so I like the idea of him smelling like that.
Truth be told, I might follow along lustily after anyone who wore it.
sorry to dissapoint you both but he uses Kenzo pour homme, i run into him at the airport duty free shop and he bought a bottle of it
Tell him he needs to start buying MKK.
Now I’m green with envy, Racine!
My hopes are dashed – I was imagining him in vintage YSL Rive Gauche pour Homme or Chanel Cuir de Russie! But perhaps he was just picking up something light for summer
Or for someone else…..
Yes! Thank you, Boojum – now we can go back to imagining JB in something that smells like he looks, with no calone in sight, certainly!
It was like 5 years ago and he might have “upgrade” his taste but for what I know of him, I don´t think he is the kind of guy who cares much about this matter
It must be strange to see someone like JB in real life. I met one of the Star Trek stars once and she was so completely the opposite of her character that I was in shock, even though rationally, of course, I know it’s only acting.
I don’t know why, but Jennifer Aniston bring to my mind Un Jardin Sur Le Nil…
I dunno…she’s kind a girl-next-door enough for Daisy!
…and Angelina Jolie Angel from Mugler…
I always thought Angelina would wear Bulgari Black.
But Bvlgari Black lacks of intensity. Angel would combines better with her: it’s more intense, has great personality and get lots of attention, don’t you think?
…and Angelina Jolie, Angel from Mugler…
Meryl Streep should wear Prada Infusion D’Iris- it’s so dry, objective and classy, as she ;
Uma Thurman maybe wear L Fleur de Corail from Lolita Lempicka, beatifully sweet, balanced, harmonious and have some classy too.
Good ideas, Moore!
Just about every possible celebrity from the entertainment world seems to have either their “own” scent or a spokesperson contract, so I’ll switch to the type of celeb who would rather be caught admitting that one should not reduce taxes in times of budget deficits than admitting to wearing a fragrance.
Sarah Palin Killian-Love Don’t Be Shy (Full beautifully packaged bottle paid for by donations from Political Action Committee).
President Obama -Cool Water
Michelle Obama- During the campaign, she will claim to be wearing Jean Nate, but after the election, she will switch to something Avant Garde and expensive like Xerjoff Iris.
Hillary Clinton, Amouge Woman
Bill Clinton Amouge Woman (Trying to cover up scents from other women).
Newt Gingrich- Anything 80’s ish.
Christine Carptenter (Failed Candidate for Senator from Delaware, and former explorer of alternate religions, whose campaign commercials led with the statement “I am not a Witch)- anything by Black Alchemy.
Senator Michelle Backman (Tea party favorite) The Verte, no wait to “Green” Party ish,-Tea for Two.
New Jersey Representative (and former Princeton University Professor of Plasma Physics) Bang
Elliot Spitzer (Former NY Attorney General who was elected Governor on the basis of prosecuting major financial firms for money laudering and other frauds, but resigned after it was discovered that he engaged in minor money laundering to get cash to payments for a hooker). Bond 9 Wallstreet over Don’t Get Me Wrong Baby (I Don’t Swallow).
OOPs. make it Escentric Molecules for Congressman Holt.
What would you give George Bush jnr. Axe Marine, perhaps?
For George W. Bush Lonestar Memories- which smells to me like a combination of petrol and mesquite flavored cheese.
For “George Bush” (as the father is usually identified), a WWII pilot and parachute jumper L’Air Du Temps.
Narcicuss Absolut for any politician whom I forgot. (Probably for just about all other celebs as well.)
Good work, Dilana.
Great list, Dilana!
While I can totally see Amouage Gold for Hillary, I can also imagine that she and some of the other ladies might wear Chanel No. 19, which, as LT put it, “appeals to any woman who has ever wished to know what it is to be heartless.”
I love no19 and don’t find it heartless or domineering at all. Introverted, or focused on the natural world rather than human society, is my take on it. Beautiful in cool (not cold) spring weather.
Your description sounds a lot more appealing than LT’s!
I love it and have been wearing it almost daily in this mild rainy spring (northern Calif) – Bas de Soie has been getting some play too. No 19 is my SOTD, as it happens, and I’m sniffing my wrist frequently. This is its moment – it feels out of place in colder or hotter weather.
I have been wondering what Flo, the woman in the Progressive Insurance commercials would wear, if she was a real person. I think she is wonderful. Any ideas?
Maybe DKNY Be Delicious.
Something fruity… Hello Kitty fragrance?
Another Flo fan! Yay!! I actually can see her in something like Paloma Picasso, perhaps because she had a cool aunt or a favorite high school teacher who wore it. She strikes me as nostalgic. I’ve clearly given this way too much thought.
Stevie Nicks line: . Hand-blended, personal fragrances with a musical flair. It is my dream to design these..
“Belladonna”- elemental and dark. green juniper herbal fragrance with opium smoke and a splash of pomegranate accord.
“Gold Dust Woman”- commanding. black amber with a dusting of honeysuckle
“Edge of 17”- mysterious & complex- dragon’s blood, honey, blackcurrant, neroli, and a foreboding twist of vetiver
“angel”- white floral bouquet, haunting white musk, crisp pear and saltwater.
“Gypsy”- exotic and flagrant. Spanish amber, tuberose, vanilla bean, sandalwood, tonka with a hint of woodsmoke
“Dreams”- mild, tropical and ethereal; plumeria, white woods, sugar cane, champagne, coconut milk and hibiscus
can you tell I’m a fan?