I'm not selling 'John Mayer: the cologne'. If I did it would just smell like sausage and sleep. I don't look at my fans and think, 'Wow, they really like what I do musically. Imagine if I could get 60 more dollars out of them!'
— Singer John Mayer sounds off on celebrity perfumes. Read more at MAYER BLASTS PERFUME-PEDDLING POP STARS at Contact Music.
hilarious!
Yep. Actually I’d take the smell of sausage and sleep, double on the sleep please.
Yes, he got that right. But he probably has a collection of fragrance bottles of all his ex-girlfriends that got left in his house….
Does he have a ton? I only know about Jennifer Aniston.
Jessica Simpson certainly had a few frags under her belt, between the several Dessert lines and Fancy & Flankers.
Yeah, he is what the kids these days call a “player.” I saw that he has one of those VH1 storytellers shows coming up and I thought to myself, “What is he going to say before each song? ‘This one is about Jennifer Love Hewitt… who I later screwed over…. This one is about Jessica Simpson…. who I later screwed over… This one is about Jennifer Aniston… who I….'” You get the point.
Aha. Didn’t know.
Does he specialize in women whose names begin with J?
Wow, never noticed that. Now I feel the need to investigate further…
Apparently he has also dated Minka Kelly. (Whoever that is.) I feel like the list I read should have been longer. Maybe I need to consult back issues of US and Star.
I can only imagine the marketing. “This Valentine’s Day, a cologne for that special someone who told the paparazzi he had dumped you before he told you. John Mayer: Eau de Douche.”
Ack. As usual you guys know more than I do.
Robin- he was particularly harsh to poor Jennifer Aniston, but Jessica Simpson didn’t exactly have it easy either. He has an ego that would make an empty room feel crowded, but personally I have never cared for his music. It’s a bit whiny.
Funny that he’s the whiny one!
Ari, if you could only hear my cackling laugh from where you are this morning. “Eau de Douche.” Hee hee…
Pretty much. John Mayer has always rubbed me the wrong way. Don’t keep up with celebrity gossip myself, but he does seem to have a trail of jilted former girlfriends.
‘John Mayer: Eau de Douche’ is right.
You guys crack me UP!!! I’m only barely aware of this guy, but I learn so much on NST. 😀
Thanks for the laugh this morning. John’s always amused me with his honesty for better or worse. He is one of the last people I’d imagine to put out a perfume or cologne, to be honest, though sausages and sleep sound great right about now. 🙂
Don’t they?
I don’t know much at all about this guy….only that he dated Jennifer Aniston ….which means absolutely nothing (except I really don’t like Brad Pitt so Mayer’s got to be a step up) BUT—his comments make me kind of like him….bluntly honest, what’s not to like about that?
I knew I liked you. 😀
and now realizing I need to clarify…that was in reference to the BP comment. SO not a fan.
I’ve never understood anyone’s interest in him. Glad I’m not alone.
I was forced to sit through “A River Runs Through It” last week, and I swear, his “acting” consisted of smiling 20 different ways. Seriously over-rated, IMO.
Exactly.
I don’t know this guy’s music or anything about him really — I hear all sorts of trash talked about him, but anytime I catch him on TV (a Dave Chappelle appearance stands out in memory) or read a quotable, it’s always like this, which I consider to be just top-notch funny. I love the funny….
I’ve always found him rather pretentious. Especially his latest Rolling Stone interview when he was going on about finding someone who is able to “go toe-to-toe with me intellectually.” As for Jennifer Anniston :
“What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f—ing fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.’”
He also has “77” tattooed on his chest, because he was born in 1978 – get it? Deep.
Typo. I mean born in 1977.
It would’ve been deeper in your typo’ed version: like, totally, *conceived* in 77. Woah, dude. That *is* deep.
😀
He fooled me with the first album, and I confess I still like “Why Georgia”… but after that, I was riiiiiiight with you. Fortunately I don’t follow celebs much anymore, so I haven’t had to be terribly annoyed.
Amen, sister!!! He’s a pretentious snob who has no business being a pretentious snob.
Most don’t…if they do, then they’re just ordinary snobs. 😉
Holy cow! I think I was better off not knowing anything about the guy! And since “whiny” is a pet peeve with me; I’m glad I couldn’t name a single one of his songs!
Ok, have to say I like “it doesn’t arc over the horizon”. That would have come in handy when I was younger & dating.
Maybe I should add that to my list of phrases nobody wants to hear like “We need to talk” and “It’s not you, it’s me.” I just don’t know if I could carry it off with a straight face.
LOL!
“I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon” ???
Oh boy.
Somewhere in America, Mayer’s business manager is quietly contemplating a leap from the nearest bridge…..
I doubt Coty was calling him anyway.
Mmm, sausage. All I had for breakfast was toast. It’s not as if that isn’t a decent strategy for capturing the guy market, sizzling sausages note.
I was put off breakfast this morning by a commercial for Denny’s latest special which included chicken fried steak with gravy, sausage AND bacon, eggs, and pancakes with what looked to be a slice of pie topped with cheese or butter on the side.
I think I hear America’s arteries hardening…..
LOL I have to agree with him on that.Now I am so over celebrity fragrances its all just too much and starting to smell alike now.I will double on the sleep too.
🙂
Miss Kitty, so glad to have made you laugh. I also cannot help but think of the Ed Hardy perfumes as Eau de Douche thanks to the association between Ed Hardy and Jon Gosselin. If there really was such a cologne on the market, I would buy it in bulk- it woud send a very strong message, dontcha think? =)
You know, I was intrigued by the original Ed Hardy fragrances before I really cared about perfumes and I remember describing the bottles to a friend of mine. I don’t think they are thrilled with their association with Jon Gosselin and I’ve read press statements distancing themselves from him. They got another push into the public eye again with the sparkly T-shirt clad Guidos and Guidettes on Jersey Shore (if I were hosting a large party I would totally hire Snookie to attend). I wonder if it has hurt their bottom line, or if any publicity is good publicity.
I love Snooki, Julia!!!! She won my heart when she started doing backflips in the club. For most brands I imagine that Snooki and Jon Gosselin would be bad news, but truthfully I think they fit the Ed Hardy image pretty well. I find their stuff to be pretty tacky (not to mention outrageously overpriced). Their fragrances seem to be surprisingly well-liked on MUA, though. Now if only Snooki would put out a fragrance… god, I can’t even imagine.
OK, we’re having a party. We cam get her to attend for $2,000. That’s a lot of Amouage, though. Well, some Amouage. A Snooki fragrance sounds like something that might give you cold sores, but she never actually “hooked up” to my knowledge. I would totally buy her fragrance to support her veterinary studies. And did you notice the big honking bottles of cologne all the guys packed? I couldn’t tell what kind they were, though.
Best party ever!!! Unfortunately (both for feminist reasons and “well there goes our party” reasons) I believe that her rate has gone up significantly since she was punched. And I completely agree that any perfume with Snooki’s name on it should probably be considered some sort of health risk. The ad would be HILARIOUS. “Now you too can be rejected over and over by remarkably unattractive men!” I am unsure what was in those huge bottles of cologne, besides topical steroids. You know, I met a guy here at Hopkins the other day who thought he was so classy because he wore “Shalimar for Men”. I didn’t have the heart to tell him…
I love John Mayer and I love his music! He is known to be brutally honest and outspoken, (he even wrote a song about how often he sticks his foot in his mouth.) As far as his personal life, he may be an ass, but I don’t really care as I am married and never plan on dating him, LOL! Same as with Tom Cruise, he may be crazy, but I still like his movies.
True. Bruce Springsteen has been known to take himself a little too seriously sometimes, but I will still happily shell out several hundred dollars and fly halfway across the country to see him. I don’t look to rock stars for my information on energy policy, immigration, or foreign affairs. Nor do I seek the opinions of movie stars for medical information (I’m looking at you, Tom Cruise).
In a perfect world entertainers/actors would just do their jobs then shut up and go home! I ignore the lot of them. Which is one reason why I have no idea who Mayer has dated and dumped….but I’m sure each actress/entertainer involved with him has dated and dumped someone else in turn. On a side note: I make a particular effort to ignore Tom Cruise. (give it a rest dude)
You’re being glib, Daisy.
I love her! I love her! I LOVE HER! (jumping off couch and hiding)…
I don’t like him or his music, but he does spin some truly bons mots on occasion.
By the way, I first read the headline as “Sausages and Sheep,” and I thought, damn, he really DOES get around!
LOL!!
Oh, I wouldn’t put the sheep thing past him…
yeah, he’s just using them for their wool…
Maybe sheep as in herds of mindless groupies?
Ooh, total missed double entendre opportunity! Sheep=John Mayer fans. Dammit, can’t believe I missed that one!
No offense to John Mayer fans, of course.
you did mention being quite tired…..
More like sausages, sleep and a healthy dose of misogyny.
There are few celebrities that manage to be on my radar and even less who manage to *really* piss me off. Congrats to Mayer.
I suspect that misogyny smells like Axe.
Goes without saying.
I’m not going to pat Mayer on the back for pulling stuff like he did in his NYMag interview though. ( I have the link, but I hesitate to put in on here. It’s seriously deranged.)
I had read it and forgotten about it… funny and sharp. It’s part of his Mayerschtick.
He’s a tool and his music smacks of hypocrisy when you consider his personal opinions. That said, he is brutally honest, a fairly decent writer and entertaining. He’s the kind a**hole that keeps me laughing even when I want to strangle him…. the perfectly obnoxious dinner party guest that keeps everyone talking days after the party.
I’m looking forward to his upcoming blog posts on gawker dot com. Should be highly entertaining with the outspoken commenters there (btw, is anyone else on there? I’m siarna on gawker).
I am learning more than I wanted to know about JM 😉
I’m a total Gawker addict (haven’t commented there in ages, though — just reading it all sucks up enough of my time!). I can’t imagine JM blogging for them, given how much they rag on him, but I guess sleeping with the enemy is definitely part of the Gawker schtick.
I find his quotes amusing, his music kind of boring – with a big exception for his song ‘Gravity’. That song speaks to me [or should I say it sings to me? No I would never say such a thing].
I only know a few of his songs. Almost all the comments here are over my head 🙂
I thought he was just kind of whiny until he came out with the John Mayer Trio stuff, which is more blues-oriented and really good. He plays a mean axe, for sure. I’ve never cared personally about him one way or the other, and have always thought him odd-looking over pretty, but I do like some of his music.
Sausage and sleep does sound pretty good.
Right now, sleep sounds most excellent.
Neither fond of the guy nor enjoy his music, but props to him for that.
Yep.
I’m not sure what to believe from a man who tells national magazine interviewers that he is in search of the Joshua Tree of vaginas…
LOL!