Recently, I was worried I had run out of ways to review mediocre, smell-alike mainstream men’s fragrances. Should I continue to tax my imagination and keep thumbing through Roget’s Thesaurus for new ways to say a fragrance is “dull,” “insipid,” “typical,” etc., or should I simply ignore boring new releases? I jokingly said to Robin here at Now Smell This that we should create a ‘review form’ for such scents; it would make reviewing so much easier. Of course, a perfume blog can’t ignore new releases and I can’t use a review form over and over again without becoming a bore myself, but just this once...
Mainstream Fragrance Review Form/Category: Men’s “Fresh”/Sport
— Artificial-smelling ingredients
— The perfume develops rapidly; excellent lasting power/annoying sillage
— Contains persistent marine and/or ozonic “fresh” fragrance notes
— Metallic citrus opening; slightly “spicy”, mildly “floral” middle; and woody dry down; all fragrance notes are “generic,” “nondescript”
The Specifics (fill in parentheses):
Fragrance Name: (HUGO BOSS PURE), released in (2008) and created by (P&G FRAGRANCE SCIENTIST WILL ANDREWS & IFF). Contains (FIG WATER, CITRUS, LILY, HYACYNTH, MASSOIA WOOD). This is a (FRESH MARINE-SPORTY) men’s fragrance. This cologne reminds me of (TOO MANY TO MENTION).
Optional: Advertising/Packaging Comment
MARINE-SPORT fragrances usually have BLUE JUICE or come packaged in BLUE BOTTLES — to represent “water”; ads often incorporate a half-naked male model engaged in a SPORTING ACTIVITY. HUGO BOSS PURE does not stray from this tried(tired)-and-true formula: BLUE JUICE/MODEL SWIMMING/DIVING.
“Chestnut” Corner/Choose One (rephrase creatively if possible):
“I’m tired of marine/water notes in men’s fragrances.”
“As we all know, ozonic notes have been overused and, to me, smell dated….”
“Don’t we have enough ‘fresh’ colognes for men on the market?”
“If I have to review another fragrance like this I’m going to #$%*-ing shoot myself!”
Free Space/Reviewer’s Choice (optional comment section):
While reading about the Boss Pure launch in a Women's Wear Daily article, several quotes and bits of information interested me. P&G Prestige Products’ president and CEO said his company plans on taking “an aggressive stance to make this fragrance a success.” ‘Fresh’ men’s fragrances are aggressive enough on their own, a veritable scented army of lockstep-marching clones — and don’t we have enough fragrance companies sticking their tongues out at (and ‘punching’ the noses of) consumers? Back off Hugo Boss!
What really upset me was the statement by P&G that the “’fresh’ olfactory segment” makes up “45 percent of the men’s scent business.” If I have to review another fragrance like this I’m going to #$%*-ing shoot myself!