It's meant to evoke stolen paparazzi pictures but it's hideously art-directed and the poses are amazingly clunky. Then there are the bed shots. VB is in her nightie, but David isn't. Posh strikes some extraordinary poses. But the main one looks as if she's fighting off a strangler. You know what the ad's meant to say, but equally you know she's reciting, over and over, a very long shopping list.

— On the television ads for the Intimately Beckham fragrances. Read more in Peter York On Ads: It's all about the F word but the Beckhams aren't on the right scent from the The Independent.