If you believe the ads that line magazines this time of year, you think luxury is all about David Yurman necklaces, new Manhattan penthouses, and celebrity-fronted perfume. Someone dressed in Ralph Lauren, waving her Rolex-adorned and Dolce Gabanna-spritzed arm from her new BMW is at the seat of luxury, right?
Not so fast. Although any of those things can be luxurious, often they’re not. I think luxury is eating a perfect poached egg or having a cup of good coffee with an old friend or marveling at the body heat left in your blankets as you make the bed. Luxury is the fragrance that calms or inspires or dares. Real luxury evokes wonder, if you pay attention. It doesn’t have to cost a cent (although in the case of perfume, sadly, it does), and it’s rarely advertised in magazines.
As we think about what we want more of in the coming year, it’s a good time to ponder true luxury. To me, something luxurious probably has at least one of the following qualities:
Luxury has “voice”
Something luxurious doesn’t pander to focus groups and shareholders. It’s an expression of its creator and reflects her vision, as crazy or unfashionable as it might be. A luxurious item shows its maker’s hand, whether it’s the barely even weave of a silk rug, the hand-planing of a table leg, or the slightly queer angle of a hand-turned digestif glass. Something as simple as a scarf knitted by a friend can sing luxury. When you wear it you can almost feel your friend’s good thoughts.
To me, Vero Profumo epitomizes this kind of luxury. Each of Vero Kern’s fragrances casts a straight line to her vision, full of vintage gowns, Fellini movies, and lush bouquets. Aftelier encompasses a similar luxury through the distinct voice of its perfumer and quality of its materials. Many of the niche houses do, really. It’s the big houses with teams of perfumers beholden to marketing groups and tight-fisted shareholders that might neuter their voices in the hopes of gaining market share. No matter how expensive those fragrances might be, or how famous their starlet spokespeople, they risk banality.
It’s personal
Luxury can stem simply from memory and personal association. The key is “personal.” A cup of coffee brought to you in bed can be intensely luxurious (depending on who’s doing the delivering, I guess). A book might mean the world to you because it was your grandmother’s favorite (hello, Lorna Doone), even though you’d barely give it a glance otherwise. Something as ridiculous and personal as the smelly breakfast breath of an adored kindergartner as he asks, “What is the sun made of?” can exude luxury.
If you’re lucky enough to have a bespoke perfume, you surely experience luxury. But luxury can also be had from scents that remind you of people you love. For instance, Revlon Moondrops will always be special to me, thanks to my grandmother.
It might be mundane
Sure, the crown jewels are luxurious — the history! the craftsmanship! — but so is an egg. The next time you’re reaching into the refrigerator, take out an egg and appreciate it. Isn’t it beautiful? A complete breakfast in an astonishingly perfect package. Better yet if the egg came from hens who’d spent their days in a pasture, and you’re tasting grass and bugs and happy chickens. It’s an immense luxury at less than half a dollar each. Here’s another example: I asked one of my coworkers what luxury was to her, and she said, “It’s seeing a wide landscape.” So true. That landscape doesn’t have to be in Bali or the Caribbean, either. Anything with stars or a tree or light reflecting off buildings can be luxurious.
For luxurious yet mundane perfume, don’t neglect the drugstore. Sometimes a simple Jovan musk or dab of Tabu is pure luxury. And let’s not forget the luxury of freshly scrubbed skin or peaty-smelling bandaids, or even baby powder.
It rewards paying attention
The main thing about luxury? It’s everywhere. Tapping into luxury is often as simple as paying attention. And luxury’s central sensor is within you, not in some dumb magazine ad. When you go to sleep at night, feel the texture of your sheets and how your muscles stretch then go limp. Enjoy the warmth of the person beside you, or the weight of the dog who just jumped up, or the cool expanses of your deliciously solo bed. In paying attention to how you feel, you'll find luxury lickety-split where you didn’t even know you had it.
I guess that’s why you love perfume, though. You know to stretch your senses and parse what you experience. That’s real luxury.
What is luxury to you? What fragrances feel especially luxurious?
Note: top image is Fabergé Egg Pendant, Oeuf Tsarskoye Selo Empereur Rosé, $12,411.
Luxury, to my definition, means a beautiful, sensual and nonessential joy. Wool is practical, cashmere luxurious. I suppose there are practical fragrances–something worn as armor or costume to help us fit in or defend our standing in certain company–but generally, I think of it as a luxury.
Perfume precisely meets my definition of luxury above: I wear fragrance because it is beautiful, it enlivens my awareness of my surroundings, and because it brings me joy. None of this requires a certain price point, although my experience says that generally, my senses are more excited by higher quality, more complex, and nearly always more expensive, fragrances. And the *act* of wearing fragrance for myself (without the practical expectations above) always feels luxurious.
A very thoughtful reply! I really agree how, as you say, the act of wearing fragrance for yourself is luxurious.
But I think that “practical” things can also be luxurious. A wool sweater knitted for you by a friend, for instance, leaps above the store-bought sweater in luxury (at least, I think so.) An old Spode plate from Goodwill is practical and luxurious.
Handmade and homemade has become a sort of luxury,hasn’t it?I think that,like Niche and Artisanal Perfumery,there are Niche producers of Homemade/Handmade furniture/preserves/linens…a whole bunch of stuff I can think of!And that are truly luxurious BECAUSE they are handmade/homemade with extra care and attention to detail!
And I love it that things are slightly imperfect, too. Somehow that makes them more wonderful.
Luxury for me is a home cooked meal I haven’t cooked myself (I’m single). Now that my kids are getting a bit older, they have started cooking, and it’s glorious!
I’m sure the success of hand made markets, including Etsy, is because people are searching for simplicity and authenticity – somewhere.
As for perfume, just knowing you can buy a few mls of a discontinued gem from one of decanters – or receive it as a gift from a friend – puts you ahead of all those Rolex wearers in BMWs.
Lovely read!
Yes, you’re so right about samples and decants of vintage fragrances! They’re a wonderful and luxurious peek into the past. Having someone cook for you is also luxurious. (All those 1950s husbands didn’t realize how they had it made, I guess.)
Luxury to me is my large black reform Arpege for 20 dollars! Still smells better to me than all my new stuff. That and a great cup of joe. Wonderfully written post. Happy new year everyone!
Oh, a good cup of coffee in your favorite mug is a wonderful luxury. Every little sip is a luxury. And a daily one, at that!
Great post! Luxury to me is one of my sisters hand made blankets made from shrunken wool and fleece. Pure heaven is a cup of herbal tea that someone made for you late at night under that blanket. Onda is a very special fragrance that I consider luxury in fragrance.
And you could have all three at once! I love this idea of luxury. (Speaking of herbal tea, I just steeped some sage and spearmint from the garden and drank it. It turned out to be a satisfying combination.)
Oh I must try that today. I have both in the garden right now. Thanks!
Sage is so assertive that I used probably twice the amount of mint than I did sage, and I thought that balance worked well. I hope you enjoy it!
The ultimate luxury for me these days,is quite simply TIME.Whether it’s time spent listening to my Mother’s childhood recollections,time spent via Skype connecting with my brother living on another continent,or even just time spent visiting my 3/4 favorite perfume shops in Johannesburg.Where has 2014 gone?I wanted to do soooo many things this past year,but look!It’s 3 days from 2015 already!lol!Having a true,honest and REAL best friend,has also been an invaluable luxury.Being able to be myself,and live in a free,non-racial,Democratic society in South Africa for 20 years,would be regarded by many as a given.It wasn’t.It was fought for by countless people.And it’s a luxury we tend to underestimate,if you look around the world and see how many other countries do not have the luxury of democracy,free speech,gender equality and freedom of religion.We should value ourselves more,and treat ourselves as luxury items too!With a spritz of Chanel or Guerlain of course…just to complete the picture.
My gosh, you’re so right. It’s easy to take something as basic as “rule of law” for granted, but a lot of people had to fight for it.
And time! Yes, time truly is a luxury. A good New Year’s resolution that comes up for me from time to time is to say “no” to certain things so that I do have more time for what is important.
I would add “space” to the intangible luxury list along with time. Having room to move around, to be in your own space, to spread out, to have privacy–really wonderful and easy to take for granted when you’re accustomed to the privilege!
So true! Especially the “privacy” part. It gives you space to really be yourself.
Yes,I totally agree!Time and space!;-))
Time! Yes, absolutely, free moments when you can catch them are the biggest luxury of all!
And time to nap is perhaps the greatest!
My luxurious moments are rather modest on the price scale these days – a gorgeous plate of hand made cookies at work from a patron who really cares about the library; a long morning sleeping in (b/c my daughter is not up yet); spending time with people I really enjoy where I can just talk freely about anything; finishing a book that I thoroughly enjoyed. My parents (always!) bringing a bottle or two of Freixenet for frazzled parents to drink with gusto when they visit. Real basics too: warm house, hot showers, and good sleep.
What is the most luxurious fragrance I own? That is so tough for me to answer. I have one bottle of some very special lavender and incense fragrance that Laurie Erickson sold to me few years ago that is truly plus que magnifique (is that right?) and very special just b/c it’s been so soothing to my frazzled soul these past few years. Otherwise, a lot of my fragrances are “luxurious”, right? For some reason I think my vintage Bal a Versailles is the closest I get to feeling completely fabulous when I wear it, although almost all of my fragrances do anyway. No 5 in any form and Amouage Memoir Woman are very special to me too.
Happy new years everyone!!
All of that sounds very luxurious, and a big kiss to the patron who brought you cookies! That’s terrific.
There really is something luxurious about Bal a Versailles. It’s so lush, and it has that darling Marie Antoinette-ish bottle.
For me, Amouage exemplifies luxury – beautiful, classic perfumes made from luscious ingredients and fittingly packaged. I’m also a fan of the early Calice Becker Kilians, especially in the beautiful travel sets. And I’m happy to join you in loving Aftelier. One of the solid perfumes in antique patch boxes would be an ideal luxury gift.
I do think Amouage Jubilation 25 is very luxurious. It’s almost too much–in the best way, of course.
It’s hard to pick one Amouage as the most luxurious when they also offer Gold, Dia, Lyric and Beloved. I probably wear Beloved most often.
So true. Gold is so luxurious, but perhaps not best for everyday–at least, not for me. Now, I could see wearing Beloved often.
Luxury for me is “vacation time” or time off from the daily grind. I am a school counselor and am off right now for the winter break. It is pure LUXURY for me to not have to set my alarm clock and get up at the crack of dawn. Luxury is to also spend time with fellow educators who are my good friends and cherish that valuable time together.
Being “in love” is a luxury in my opinion. Its that feeling it gives you inside like no other. I hope that one day I can experience that luxury again.
Honestly, my Tom Ford fragrance – Santal Blush is pure luxury to me. When I wear it, my confidence level is up, I have more pep in my step, and I get so many compliments. Santal Blush to me is like wearing a cashmere sweater, pure luxury.
I’m having some vacation time now, too, and I’m having a hard time really being in the moment and appreciating it, because I’m already dreading its end! (Not that I dread my job–it’s just that it’s so nice moving at my own pace.)
My friends and I were just saying that. We were like, can you believe a whole week has passed by already? The time flies by. We are hoping this week moves at a snail’s pace. It is nice to do things when I am ready to do them.
Good times can be a blessing and a curse. My dog died a little over a year ago, and I swear that every day I had him, the thought passed over my mind that I’d lose him someday, and I dreaded that. It’s awful. It would be so much nicer to stay in the moment.
Oh, I’m so torn about our “vacation time” as educators–I truly revel in it, but part of that is because my work is so hard, takes so much out of me, and the hours are so long when I’m working. I truly couldn’t sustain my work as a teacher without the recovery times built into the calendar. That said, I do not take for granted that I have a job that gives me that time to recover–I know so many people who work very hard, very long hours and aren’t given that time! So perhaps this is a necessary luxury–one that nearly every working person I know deserves more of!
Absolutely! Vacation time is replenishing. But I do think that your job is especially draining. All I have to do is sit alone with a computer, and you have dozens of kids to manage–and teach.
I think people who aren’t in education have no idea the hours we put in and the work load we bring home. People always say to me that they don’t understand why we get “all” of those breaks. I sarcastically respond to them so we won’t end up on the news for snapping on someone’s child. All jokes aside, we need that time off to refuel. So, I am with you Marjorie Rose when you say it is a necessary luxury. Now the countdown begins for Spring Break! LOL!
Well, enjoy this time off!
Yes. And there is literally no “downtime” in our days. We don’t get a few moments to wander off into some internet wormhole (as I hear some office jobs accommodate), no 15 minute breaks to pee every few hours, and even lunch (the same 25 minutes as the kids), often has work to do–quickly answer an email, run a detention, answer a kid’s homework questions. Even when I only work 45 or so hours in a week, that usually means every single minute in those 45 hours!
I do feel that we earn the recovery time! I’ve yet to duct-tape a kid to their chair, so that must mean I’m keeping some sort of life balance!
Enjoy it while it lasts (and hide the duct tape)! Honestly, I don’t know how you do it, but I’m glad you do. I hope you’re sleeping in tomorrow…
Gosh. Sorry for the whiney reply yesterday evening! I really do love my job and feel lucky in a lot of ways. My job gives me so much *meaning*, and that, I think, is a luxury, too. To have work that does more than feed you.
Hey, if the job wasn’t a challenge, how rewarding could it be?
A bottle of Jasime Rouge would do it for me!!! Very luxurious indeed.
Then I hope you get one soon!
Luxury to me is a treat, a rarity. Does that sound expensive and fancy? I’m actually thinking of what a real luxury was to me when I was a 6 year old. We were a family with four kids living on my dad’s pitiful TA salary, so eating out was something we rarely did. Luxury for us was a cheeseburger at our local drive-in. Made by hand, just the way you wanted it. Nothing ever tasted soooo good!
“Something luxurious doesn’t pander to focus groups and shareholders. It’s an expression of its creator and reflects her vision…” Angela, that sums up what I love about Sonoma Scent Studios.
I heard an interview on the radio last week with an actor talking about happiness. He said that he tries to look at life through the lens of being a kid and remembering how cool things really are. (Hey, we get to drive! We can eat whatever we want for dinner and go to bed when we want!) That perspective is wonderful.
Simon Pegg, yes?! I thought that was a really great interview.
Was that it? The actor in the movie that had Hector and Happiness in its title? I only heard about half the interview, but I loved it.
Nonleaky shoes that don’t pinch was a fabulous luxury for me a few weeks ago– there was a month and a half gap between when I lost my job and when NJ started paying. In that time, my shoes started leaking because I was doing a lot more walking (and they were old anyway) and nothing made me feel quite so poor as those leaky shoes. I was so thrilled when I could finally get new shoes.
Other than the shoes, original art and travel are what I usually consider as luxuries. Of my perfumes, Soivohle Centennial and Iris Ganache feel the most luxurious to me
Oh! That sounds almost Dickensian! I’m so glad you can walk around now without rain and cold leaking through your soles. (And I hope you have lots of delicious Centennial and Iris Ganache to soften the memory.)
I can completely imagine that scenario! I’m glad you can now have warm, dry feet. Good luck in the job search, too–such a pain!
I guess I also think of true luxury as something that is perfectly, ideally functional, as well as beautiful and well made. For example, cashmere is not only softer and more beautiful than wool, but also warmer and more flattering. Thus, luxury is distinct from expensive, pretentious trash.
That’s the main thing, I think: luxury and cost aren’t necessarily related. I just spent the evening talking with an old friend I don’t get to see often enough, and it was a wonderful luxury.
For me the luxurious ‘fumes are the ones that are resinous, with or without a strong floral note:
Lorenzo Villoresi Dilmun
Comme des Garcons Daphne
Strange Invisible Perfumes Fair Verona
Soivohle Oud Lacquer
On the less-cost-but-no-less-luxurious-in-feel side, I love the oil blends with incense by Ra of Nocturne Alchemy, and anything from Possets “The Girls…”, made with real honey, or Possets “Silver” lines, which have a quiet elegance.
I’m so glad to meet another Daphne fan! We may be few, but we’re ardent. In fact, I’m going to spritz on some Daphne right this moment.
I think, there is something incredibly luxurious about a cozy, classic pair of pajamas. If the pajamas are made of satin, then they are even more luxurious.
The most luxurious perfume I own? Now, that is a hard question. Guess, I will go with my current favorite…. Narciso Rodriguez Narciso. It evokes the simple luxury of satin pajamas.
You’re killing me! I’ve been trying to find a local store that carries Narciso so I can smell it, but so far I’ve come up dry. I’ll keep trying at my local Nordstrom, though.
I, too, love a good pair of pajamas, and I have a pair of vintage Chinese silk pajamas I plan to trot out for New Year’s Eve.
From what I heard, Narciso is exclusive to Bloomingdales.
Well, that explains it. Eventually, though, I *will* smell it…
‘Real luxury evokes wonder’
I like that.
Luxury is something that, I believe, caters precisely to one’s tastes. As you say, Angela, luxury can be tapped into everywhere; it just requires a bit of discretion.
To put a finer point on it, luxury is the discerning of details one appreciates on a very personal and sensual level. And so much better when the subject of appreciation is an expression of great care — on the part of the observer or creator.
Indeed, this article is in itself luxurious.
Oh, and as for luxury and perfume — Mr Tauer does it right!
Nice example!
I heartily agree with you, and it gets back to my point that luxury can be found when a person pays attention. It’s about being in the moment and truly experiencing what you’re doing (or smelling). To be able to do that from time to time is a real gift, and it adds immense depth and pleasure to life.
Thank you for the compliment, too!
Dearest Angela,
I just love your ability to turn our attentions to good and valuable things we have in our lives. We often complain about the things we want and don’t have, but it is so true that if we decide to pay attention, we will find things so precious that we already do have. To me, luxury is, among others, time for my family and myself, and enjoying things without stressing over what others think of me right now.
Luxury is a warm bath with a glass of my favourite wine. Taking time to enjoy my man’s presence, be it holding hands, dancing in silence or a sweet massage. Luxury is getting lost in a book so much that you can’t put it down even on the street. Inhaling the scent of your baby, your parents, the sweetest kitten on your lap, a friend lost and found again. A handmade bread. A whole day to get lost in a foreign city. A flower bed you have made with your own hands, and seeing it bloom. A week with your cellphone turned off. Making meals for people who appreciate it. That one bite of a pricey chocolate or cheese, instead of a big dollop of a cheaper alternative. The scent you find to be the most you, or a handful of alternate scent personalities that can get you through any given situation. Using them, not just having and admiring them in a closet. The ability to recognize and enjoy scents, and colours, and sounds around us.
And so many more things. We are rich.
Thank You again, for the precious words, and all of You have a very happy and peaceful New Year!
How marvelous! I think you just left a prose poem for us–thank you! And Happy New Year to you, as well.
To me most essential luxury is time – time to enjoy life in general, time to sit and ponder and do nothing, time to spend with special people or animals, time to work in the garden or at the writing table or at the artist’s easel or the perfumer’s organ, all of these things that engage us and make time dissolve as we immerse ourselves in them, only to emerge hours later refreshed and centered. Time to sleep until daylight or a vivid dream awakens us, instead of the shrill harpy of the alarm clock in the dark. Time to enjoy what special things we gather to ourselves, whether it be perfume, books, music, or all of the above. Time to walk in the golden light of a summer evening with no particular place to go. Time to cook a rich stew and bake fragrant bread and smell it as it rises on a cold, rainy day when you don’t have to be anywhere else. Time to do silly things and serious things and watch old movies. Where does the time go indeed?
Time is a huge luxury! But I think your lovely and evocative comment points out one very necessary component for luxury, without which time doesn’t matter: the ability to truly appreciate what you do with your time. All through your comment I read references to enjoying what you see, smell, and feel. To me, that’s the key, and here’s to more of it in 2015!