Way in the back of the July 1955 issue of Woman’s Home Companion, opposite an ad for Miracle Whip, Lilly Daché laid out her “Secrets of Lifelong Glamour.” In the article, she promises:
With glamour, a woman can get almost anything she wants out of life. It took me years to discover it…if only I had known when I was a girl!...You do not need money or leisure or to be young — you can start putting glamour into your life right now.
Today, it’s hard to imagine how ubiquitous Lilly Daché’s name was back when a woman wouldn’t leave the house without a hat. Daché, along with Sally Victor, was one of the most famous milliners in the United States. She popularized the turban and snood and rallied for the strapless bra. (She also put her name to two fragrances, Lilly Daché Dashing and Lilly Daché Drifting. I don't know exactly when they were released or discontinued, but I found ads for them from the mid-1940s.)
Although Daché lists Helen Keller and Oveta Culp Hobby among the world’s most glamorous women, she was no feminist when it came to some aspects of beauty. In the interest of length, I’ll jump straight to Dache’s views on perfume:
It is not enough for a woman to look beautiful and perfectly gowned. The really glamorous woman is not only seen — she is perceived. When I walk into a room, I want people to sense my presence by my fragrance as well as by sight and sound.
A woman who understands glamour knows she must appeal to all the senses. She must look beautiful, yes. But she must also smell good, she must make a pretty noise, her skin must be soft to the touch, and if somebody kisses her she ought to taste good too. …
So many women merely dab a tiny bit of perfume behind their ears after they are dressed. Why put perfume behind your ears? Nobody is going to creep up behind your ears. Do not be afraid to use enough scent to do some good….
So this is the first part of my secret — don’t be afraid to smell good and use enough perfume to make sure this is true. Now the second part of my secret is how to find your scent. This is more difficult, because a perfume never smells the same on two different women…The only way to judge a new scent is to try it out on a man.
When you are experimenting with a new perfume, spray a lot of it on and go out with the man in your life. If he says, “M-m-m-m! You smell wonderful!" — it is a success. That is your scent. Stick to it.
If he says nothing, or, worse, remarks that the room seems stuffy that means this is not the scent for you.
You may have to try several scents before you hit on the one that brings on the right masculine reaction. But when you find it, there is no doubt about it. There is no substitute for a man in judging a perfume. I try my perfumes out on my husband,1 and he is infallible.
Recently when I was working very hard and was very tired in the evening, I got some new pine-scented bath oil which was supposed to be relaxing. I put some of this in my tub and lay in the scented water for a while, feeling soothed and rested.
When I came out, I put on a favorite negligee, tied a ribbon in my hair, and my husband said: “What is that funny smell?”
I said that I had used some pine bath oil, and he exclaimed: “But Lilly, I like you to smell like a flower, not like a tree!”
The next day I poured the rest of the pine oil down the drain and got some bath oil scented with my usual flower fragrance. Now you know my secret.
What about you — how much of a role does your spouse play in your perfume selection? And, if you had one secret for lifelong glamour, what would it be?
1. Daché was married to Jean Despres, a vice president at Coty.
Hahahahaha.
I try my perfumes out on my husband, and he says, “Smells like perfume.”
Apparently you didn’t marry a major cosmetics firm executive! Still, I’d much rather be married to someone who thinks all perfume smells the same than one demands I don’t wear certain perfumes.
Hah, that is exactly what my boyfriend says after I put on perfume – “smells like perfume!” If he says anything else, then I know it’s a more interesting scent, in one way or another!
Ah, the subtle communication in relationships…
That’s what mine says. If he doesn’t say “Yuck.” “Smells like perfume” means he doesn’t hate it. Sigh…
Which is so much better than having him be controlling about it!
Someone I was seeing once loved Wonderwood on me. I had been considering buying it, and it did give Wonderwood a bit more leverage (I still haven’t bought it yet, but it will likely replace Ouarzazate.).
He also likes a soap that I use that smells like Playdoh and coffee.
I don’t imagine that he was anything like Lilly Dache’s husband. He made Feijoada and baked delicious cakes for me.
Making delicious cakes and giving them to you is a major entry on the “plus” side of the column. I’d say that calls for extra wearings of Wonderwood, no problem.
I also imagine that if Helen Keller wore perfume, she probably was confident enough in her own nostrils to figure out whether it smelled good.
On other hand, my sympathies go to Ms. Dache. Poor thing was married to a Vice President of Coty, who never thought to whisper in her ears or nuzzle her close enough to smell those dabs behind the ear meant for only the most intimate of moments.
Come to think of it, if Ms. Dache’s husband was an executive at Coty, why wasn’t he bringing her some floral perfume home, so she wasn’t having to test pine scented bath oils.
Good point!
I wonder if Helen Keller wore perfume at all? One the one hand, she probably had a discerning sense of smell and might really enjoy beautiful fragrances. On the other, she would have had to use her nose to orient herself, it seems, and maybe wouldn’t have wanted to mess with that. But she might have really enjoyed other people’s fragrances.
Years ago I read a biography (or was it an autobiography) of Ms. Keller. I can’t recall a single mention of perfume.
I clicked on the link above and found the Wikipedia article on Oveta Culp Hobby. She apparently was the first U.S. woman military leaders. (i.e., a commanding officer once woman’s participation in military campaigns moved from unoffiicial (woman who traveled with troops to supply food and provide nursing) to a formal military enrollment. She apparently was a dedicated wife but she looks like she didn’t take any guff and that her idea of glamour included military decorations more than milinary trends. She looks like she’d have shot any guy who saw her in a negligee and started making wise cracks about her choice in bath oils.
Go, Oveta! I bet she would have loved to smell like pine, too!
I entered into fragrance after the end of a longterm partnership, so I’ve yet to have a spousal equivalent and fragrance in my life at the same time! However, I certainly use fragrance as part of my flirtations and first-date strategizing! I don’t precisely seek out male approval for a scent before I’ll wear it, but I do hope to wear something that he finds interesting and appealing. And if I ever did get negative (or that ominous non-) feedback, I’d be hesitant to wear that scent again with a potential new companion. Only scent that’s made that list so far?: Cuir et Champignon, described as “not [his] favorite.”
I guess the real challenge would come if you had a fragrance you truly loved to wear and it got the pinched nose from a partner.
Another interesting question is, would you expect a person you liked to change his/her fragrance for you?
I think if I had a partner, I would hope this hypothetical person would be ok with me wearing what I want most of the time; however, if there were scents he particularly disliked, I would avoid them for evenings out, etc. Seems like a reasonable compromise, although of course, it depends on the severity of his dislike!
If my partner had something especially icky to my tastes, I admit, I’d probably want to encourage other choices! Does that make me a hypocrite?! I guess I’m assuming that he’s unlikely to have a wide selection, and that if “his” scent is not very good, it wouldn’t take too much to broaden his horizons. My current date (going on 2 weeks!), has two choices–Spice Bomb and Bleu de Chanel. He quickly noticed my enthusiasm was stronger for Spice Bomb, and it’s all he’s worn for dates 3+.
Two weeks and three dates is promising! Good luck to you and Spice Bomb (as I will now think of him)!
He wears Spicebomb and knew about the titan arum? Nice.
AND in our phone conversation this evening, we bonded over a mutual love for microfiche.
Oooo, that means he’s spent time in libraries … dreamy ….
The microfiche thing means he probably has good vision, too!
My little “glamour” tricks
1- Find your perfect red lipstick. Your perfect red will make your skin tone look much better, make you look like you got 2 hours more sleep than you actually did and will make you look polished.
2- If you are too busy to do your nails every other day then keep them short.
3- If you are wearing something white, go for nude colored underwear, never white. White under white is very noticeable under certain lighting…like natural light.
At last! Some glamour tips!
I hear you on the red lipstick. As a redhead, I’ve had to search high and low for good reds. Some lipsticks might seem a warmer shade at first, but after half an hour of wear turn mauve on my lips.
For summer, on a redhead, I like Revlon Lip Butter in Candy Apple. It’s often on offer at drugstores, so worth a try!
I have always wanted to find a good Revlon. Candy Apple, huh? I’ll give it a try! Right now my favorite is Bobbi Brown Brick Red, but it’s expensive.
I’m more auburn than a true carrot-top red head (but we call my older son “Ginger” and he is!) and I have a terrible time with red lipstick. My latest un-success was a purchase from Sephora of Bobby Brown Burnt Red 9… It looked great on in the shop, but at home it just looks wrong. I can fix it up a bit by adding another color on top–a bronze helps… anyway, I agree that the right red lipstick is glamorous, but finding it is a very unglamorous task of smears and wipes at countless make up counters!
That’s it–Burnt Red, not Brick Red! Thanks for the correction. I’m also more auburn than bright red, and I find so many lipsticks turn pinkish on me. Besides Bobbi Brown Burnt Red, I like MAC Chili and Sephora Courtesane. MAC Russian Red and Dubonnet almost work, as does Guerlain Habit Rouge. There was a fabulous Makeup Forever brick red I loved, but Sephora dropped it. Boo.
The only time the men in my life (husband, 2 sons) have ever commented on anything I was wearing was when it was strongly vanilla based. Otherwise, no comments. If I ask, I get, “It’s OK.” My 5 year granddaughter will tell me I smell good even when I’m not wearing any scent whatsoever!
At least Lilly’s husband didn’t tell her she smelled like floor cleaner.
Did they like the vanilla? Or did they just tell you you smelled like cake?
Maybe if Lilly’s husband worked at Johnson & Johnson he *would* have pulled out the floor cleaner comment!
My husband has actually gotten quite interested in perfume as a result of my hobby and has picked up quite a bit about notes, perfume structure, etc. second hand from me. He has some distinct preferences but is fine with me wearing what I want to wear. Since I work outside the home, I try to wear perfumes that I love, but he doesn’t, on workdays. On weekends I try to wear things I know we will both enjoy. He is fine with that arrangement and is fine with me wearing things he doesn’t love from time to time.
That’s nice that he’s interested in your hobby. It always feels good when our spouses appreciate the things that are important to us. *smiles*
…and don’t disparage the things we really love!
That sounds like a workable and enjoyable approach. I love it that he’s getting interested in perfume, too!
I can completely relate.
My husband has an amazingly nuanced nose; he picks out scents I’m completely oblivious to. Obviously this creates a problem at times when a scent I really like he doesn’t. And do I have my workweek scents and my weekend scents.
I’m trying to move him beyond white florals, but any inkling of vanilla and he sends me straight to the shower to wash it off.(Sigh)
I know a couple of men with really keen noses, and to tell the truth, it’s kind of a pain. Plus, it’s embarrassing, because they so often pick up on notes it takes me forever to pin down, even though I’ve been working at it for years. I wonder if there’s a good white floral out there with a hint of incense or woods that might transition you out of them?
Only one of my Lovers ever gave any kind of opinion about my perfume and she said that preferred me to wear Estee Lauder’s Sensual Noir and didn’t like Alexander McQueen’s Kingdom or my signature scent Robert Piguet’s Bandit. Naturally we had to break up. I have decided that in the future, my Lovers will not be Allowed to have any opinion about what I wear.
Oh no. A man who doesn’t appreciate Bandit isn’t to be trusted….
Or a woman who doesn’t like Kingdom! That would be a deal-breaker for me.
I can understand that, although I can also imagine introducing Kingdom first as a little dab, then moving up to a full spritz.
I actually lived in the dorm named after Oveta Culp Hobby at Texas A&M while I was in college, but never really learned anything about her. What a woman! I think I would have liked to have met Lilly Dache. I do find that if my husband likes a fragrance on me, I am much more likely to want to wear it. My boys tend to like things on the sweet side, but I also have to make sure they are being honest with me and not just telling me they like a fragrance to get back to SpongeBob.
I wonder how many people took the trouble to figure out who their dorm was named after?
I love your recognition that your boys might simply want to get back to Sponge Bob! “Sure, Mom. That smells great. Whatever.”
Perfume played a role in in the courtship of my husband of many years and he enjoys watching me enjoy my hobby
While he has favorites, he rarely dislikes what I wear. I do envy Lily for the glamorous time that she lived in; it’s challenging to create that kind of glamour in the modern world (yoga pants are much more practical than negligees.) I’ve a lifelong love of costume jewelry and scarves, though, that are my trademark and I feel that’s my contribution to glamour.
A gorgeous scarf can transform just about any outfit, I’m a firm believer.
Hi Angela,
According to some sources (eg. Perfume Intelligence and Cleopatra’s Boudoir), Lilly Dache was married to the perfumer Jean Desprez (of Bal a Versailles fame, and creator of Crepe de Chene for F. Milot.).
I wonder if Jean Desprez / Jean Despres was the same person (ie. worked for Coty, and was a perfumer)?
You know, I wondered about that. But because I couldn’t find any extra tight confirmation, and because of the different last letters, I decided not to make the connection. Wouldn’t it be great if it were true, though? It seems like she would have mentioned it in her glamour guide!
Consulting my perfume book library did not reveal a Jean Despres, however, Jean Desprez and Jean Desses are listed. Desprez (1889-1989!) married Lilly in 1931. (She lived to be 97!) He was the great-grandson of Mme Millot. He created “Crepe de Chine”. Desses was a couture house which produced “Celui” perfume. This information is from Christie Mayer Lefkowith’s book “The Art of Perfume”.
My husband doesn’t smell perfume on me. He uses unscented deodorant only. He only puts on a men’s fragrance under duress when we go out.
When I was still in the dating pool, I had a boyfriend who had a great sense of smell. He bought me everything Angel whether I liked it or not. I still think it’s a great perfume, just not me. I remember when Angel first began to filter into Canada from Europe and one of my co-workers remarked, “It’s a perfume that goes straight to the groin!” How apt!
Thank you for that information! If she was married to Jean Desprez, it seems like she would have mentioned that she was married to a perfumer–I know I would have! That might explain why she was so willing to follow his advice perfume-wise.
Soft skin, ‘pretty noise’ (?!), negligee, ribbon in hair … man! Those were different times weren’t they?
It’s fun to consider that within 20 years Shelley Hack was striding across a restaurant in a gorgeous pants suit, having driven herself there. She arrives late (I like to imagine) because her morning meeting went over time, but she doesn’t care what her date thinks. Indeed, we hardly see him. And if he does not like the Charlie she is wearing, he can go stick his head in a paper bag.
I think Lilly Daché really saw the world change. When hats and gloves disappeared, so did a whole way of life (including those negligees and ribbons). Isn’t it amazing how much the world changed? Take the 20 years between 1990 and 2010, and fashion and social mores haven’t changed much. Then again, information technology has transformed just about everything we do.
To be honest, I’m in my early 20’s and I wear negligees, if I don’t have the definition of negligees wrong. I just call them nighties. But men have thanked me for wearing skirts everyday because girls these days just don’t do that (which I usually just found to be creepy).
When I think of a negligee, I think of a filmy dressing gown–not a robe, though–worn over a nightgown. Sometimes the nightgown and negligee make a set, called a peignoir. Thinking back, it’s kind of amazing the type of “inbetween” clothing women had: dressing gowns, bed jackets, nightgowns, negligees, robes. I love vintage clothes, so I’ve amassed a good collection of dressing gowns.
I wear dresses or skirts everyday, too! (No one has thanked me for it, though. And certainly no one has baked me a delicious cake for it.) I simply find them more comfortable than binding jeans.
Aren’t ones from the 70’s just nighties? Some of mine look a bit 60’s or 70’s, with a babydoll type sillouette. I assumed they were negligees.
I think skirts and dresses are more comfortable and they take up less space, you can wash them in the sink and they’ll dry overnight so you can save your quarters, etc. And I’m 5’0″ and pear shaped. I really work that bodycon, though. I see my fellow pears complaining about being the worst shape (???) but a lot of fashion since the 2000’s is geared towards us, in my opinion. Probably thanks to J.Lo.
Oh, I know exactly the type of babydoll nightie you’re talking about. The kind with the layer of filmy chiffon on top, right? You are so chic! To me, that would be a nightie rather than a negligee, but who knows?
A lot of change between the 50s and 70s, yes. But – to argue against myself – we have the 1978 Enjoli ad where the woman – ‘the 24 hour woman’, that is – boasts that she can ‘bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and never never never let you forget you’re a man … ‘.
She does it all, in other words, while he does … what exactly … ?
And so we have the era of the woman who must do everything. She must be the 1950s woman and the 1970s career woman at the same time. Screw the Enjoli and bring on the bourbon.
I suspect (or at least hope) that Ms. Dache’s story was fictional. After all, she was trying to sell an image and perhaps her brand of perfume (presumably florals). As for negligees, Victoria Secret does a pretty large businessselling glamorous nightgowns and underwear.
I think her perfume had been discontinued by then–at least, I haven’t seen ads for it in 1950s magazines.
I’m not very alert on Mondays: when Lilly said she tries perfume on her husband, I began wondering how she managed to get him to test the kind of glamorous, feminine perfumes she was clearly looking for!
That’s hilarious! I didn’t even think of it that way. Her husband must have smelled awfully nice.
I read it that way at first, too. And I was thinking, kind of depressed: Crap, my husband won’t let me spray him some Fracas in 2013!
That’s so funny!
My husband has no “nose” for perfume. About the most I ever get is “you smell nice” or “that smells good”. The good part is that I get to wear whatever perfume I want–and use whatever bath oils I like. OTOH, his scents are whatever I buy for him.
I see a definite advantage to your situation! Have you tried anything really challenging on him–say, Muscs Koublai Khan? (Of course, you might not want to try these yourself, and I wouldn’t blame you.)
I did have a sample of MKK once, to try on myself, not on him. I was prepared to recoil in horror, but to my surprise it just smelled like a nice, sweet musk to me. Perhaps I am anosmic to something in it. I am a little afraid to try a challenging scent for him unless I can dab it on him myself. If I hand him a sample vial, he inevitably splashes the entire thing on at once.
I remember the SAs at Palais du Shiseido swearing that MKK was a soft skin scent. Then, when I tried it I got a strong body odor note. (That said, I do have a 10 ml decant and love wearing it occasionally.) You must be one of the lucky people the SAs were talking about!
If know that my husband hates one of my perfumes, then I’m not going to wear it around him. A quiet perfume can be something that is only shared with those who hug you. When my husband hugs me and tucks his nose behind my ear and inhales and says “Mmmm … you smell good,” it’s soooo nice, even if he can’t name the fragrance. He can identify carnation, probably because I wore it very early in our relationship (it’s pretty distinctive, too).
I’ve watched a lot of “What Not to Wear,” so I guess I’ve heard a lot of glamour tips … but I rarely put them into action, since glamour is too much work for me
Sure, carnation is distinctive, but it’s still pretty great that he can identify it. As for effort and glamour, maybe you’re already naturally glamorous!
That MUST be it!
Of course!
I’ll be getting a pine sampler set, just to celebrate we don’t live in the 50’s. I enjoy the aesthetics of that era, but I enjoy civil rights better. And we have better makeup, not to mention we don’t have to make our own dresses.
My husband never say anything meaningful about my perfumes. He has a default answer: “this is very good.” He is very careful because he doens’t want to influence my choices, or maybe somehow repress me, which is very cute and so like him, but we’ve been married for over 10 years now, and I really wish the man would just say something!
If my husband doesn’t like a fragrance that I’m wearing, he’s always very tactful. He’s never said “I hate that.” He eases into the conversation carefully and gently … very diplomatic. Often, it’s not the fragrance itself, but that the alcohol has not finished evaporating. I try to spray myself way before we get into the car so that I don’t asphyxiate him
Much better than encouraging you to dump it all down the drain like pine bath oil!
When they are tactful, I don’t mind wearing a negligé…
Once I read about a woman who used dog training techniques on her husband. You know, praise the good, ignore the bad. This kind of sounds like the same thing–very effective!
Your husband sounds like a considerate man. You’ve done pretty well!
Thank’s! I hope it didn’t sound like bragging, I just wanted to make the point that, today, M. Desprez would most probably have his butt kicked!
Hey, if you’ve got it, brag about it. That’s what I say.
I’ve been trying out perfumes for my husband to smell. Anything with tuberose just wow’s him (he loves Fracas). He also loves any ocean scent. At least he likes my patchouli scents-my fave.
It sounds like you guys are perfume-sympathetic. Lucky!
I would say half my purchases are with my husband in mind. I will occasionally have him sniff samples. He’s kinda of predictable. He likes what I call “21 yr old bar and cigarettes perfume” LOL No shame. I buy them! Typically, they are cheap.
That’s a plus, at least. If he had a taste for costly but not-to-your-taste perfumes, it would be a totally different matter. Besides, there’s always a time for a bar and cigarettes fragrance.
When I ask b.f his opinion of a frag I usually just want nice or not nice but for some reason he feels obliged to say something ‘more’. Then, because he doesn’t have anything more to say he will decline to comments. He will say he can smell something but he does not know what! And thats it! Very often he will say he can only smell soap. He said this, for instance, about Eau Lente. A pity because I really liked it! Another difficulty is that he definitely likes white florals and though I no longer have the aversion to them I once did, I still don’t adore all that many…
It sounds like he’s trying, at least! I bet one day he’ll sniff you and widen his eyes and say, “Wait a minute, is that sandalwood I smell?” and a perfumisto will be born.
My DH – whom I adore – dislikes perfume in general and has learned tolerance of my passion for it, mostly because I have agreed to watch golf on tv
His not caring about scent is liberating in a way, since I can wear what I like (though I do try not to wear anything he absolutely hates). Lily lived in different times…
I do love perfume, but I can’t even imagine watching golf on TV. (My father, who admittedly has never hit a golf ball in his life and is the polar opposite of the country club set, is addicted to watching golf tournaments on TV. Go figure.) I might, however, manage to eke out a tournament or two if I could compensate with Jubilation 25.
I didn’t get really into perfume until after the end of a long-term relationship. And I’m not dating right now so I haven’t really had to deal with this in that context yet. In my last relationship, I wore Bath & Body Works Japanese Cherry Blossom pretty much all the time, and if I remember correctly, he liked it well enough, though I don’t really think he cared all that much.
I guess if I were with someone and he hated a perfume I liked, I would wear it at times that I wasn’t going to be around him. But I sure wouldn’t be dumping it down the drain!
You have such a good point about not dumping it down the drain! O.K., maybe the swapping scene wasn’t going great guns then. But couldn’t she have given it to her maid or something?
I can’t help thinking (in the politest way possible) the woman was a budget Coco Chanel. lol I don’t think husbands would necessarily have a clue about perfume – with the exception of hers!!! When I do see a particularly elegant and stylish woman reeking of some perfume I do wonder is it that she bathed in it or that she might be wearing something with killer sillage?
I’m with you, in that I prefer I not be smelled before I enter a room!
The same way that I’m not going to be “wowed,” by all of the projects he has in the garage, I don’t expect him to care that much about my perfume hobby.
He hates Chanel no. 5. I love it and I wear it anyway.
That’s fair. Since you don’t insist he scrap his garage projects, he shouldn’t begrudge a little Chanel No. 5.