Anyone else sick of hearing about (the former) Kate Middleton’s post-delivery tummy fat and the big reveal concerning the “royal” baby’s name? Why do I have to see these baby-centric headlines, articles and photo spreads everywhere I look — I live in the U.S. for goodness sakes! I guess the royal family is England’s favorite “reality show” — comparable to the U.S. public's fascination with the Kardashian clan and their ilk.
Last week, as I watched (via TV) a toothless, happy-as-could-be elderly man on the streets of London, dressed in Union Jack-inspired clothes and carrying banners celebrating the birth of a male heir to the “throne,” I wondered: “Has he ever thought the tens of millions of dollars spent by his country on Queen Elizabeth and her kin could perhaps be better used for other purposes…like a set of teeth for himself?” None of my business I guess…find joy where you can.
But all this antiquated royal stuff made me search out the things I love about England: its literature, eccentrics, gardens…dogs! This past week, I put some Purcell, Dusty Springfield, Arne and The Smiths on the CD player, watched a few Mike Leigh films (the great Another Year and Life is Sweet) and looked through some poetry books. I came upon Ode on the Spring by Thomas Gray:
Lo! where the rosy-blosom’d Hours,
Fair Venus’ train appear,
Disclose the long-expecting flowers,
And wake the purple year!
The Attic warbler pours her throat,
Responsive to the cuckoo’s note,
The untaught harmony of spring:
While whisp’ring pleasure as they fly
Cool zephyrs thro’ the clear blue sky
Their gather’d fragrance fling.1
Ode on the Spring led me to the beautiful watercolor by William Blake you can see at the top of this post, and both poem and art led me to…Michigan! On my desk was a sample of Kerosene Pretty Machine2 (Kerosene is based near Detroit); not only did Pretty Machine and its linden fragrance blend perfectly with Gray’s poem of spring and, in mood, with Blake’s gentle artwork, it reminded me of England’s gorgeous scent-filled gardens.
Like two recent linden perfume discoveries, Pretty Machine is a worthy addition to the “common lime” tree (to use the British term for linden) genre. Pretty Machine starts off with the aromas of pungent, “green” citrus fruit (to my nose more “juice” than “peel”), this lively citrus, especially lime, adds sparkle and fizz to the sweet, dense linden blossom accord (rosewater-tinged, and also augmented with light neroli and sweet jasmine). Pretty Machine is instantly recognizable as a linden fragrance, but when smelled up close it has more complexity than your average linden perfume — I especially appreciate its rose and hyper-floral jasmine notes. Though musk and vetiver are listed as ingredients, neither, thankfully, intrudes (there’s not a hint of dirt in this fragrance).
Pretty Machine has good sillage and excellent lasting power; it’s a great unisex floral perfume. As an added bonus, the tough words “kerosene” and “machine” brushed away my annoyance, at least momentarily, with the fusty House of Windsor and its relentless PR machine. (By the way, some of my best friends, as they say, are staunch defenders and “followers” of the British royal family. And I certainly wish nothing but the best for George Alexander Louis — may he avoid the many pitfalls of inherited fame…and fortune.
Kerosene Pretty Machine is $140 for 100 ml Eau de Parfum. For buying information, see the listing for Kerosene under Perfume Houses.
1. Read the entire poem here.
2. Perfumer/owner John Pegg; Pretty Machine listed ingredients are lemon, bergamot, lime, neroli, linden blossom, orange blossom, jasmine, rose, vetiver and musk.
Note: top image by William Blake via Wikimedia Commons.
Some of my coworkers are staunchly of the “we fought a revolution so we wouldn’t have to care about royals” mindset, so I have heard quite a bit of griping about the royal baby coverage. I, however, simply can’t get upset about it. It’s one of the few stories in the media lately that isn’t totally depressing. Wars, scandals, terrorist attacks, bankruptcy, you name it. With all that going on, it’s nice to hear about something normal such as a baby. I figure anyone who doesn’t want to hear/read about it is free to put down the paper or magazine, change the channel, or go to another website.
The perfume does sound nice, and I may add it to my “to sniff” list. If I like it, it would likely end up on my “perfumes to wear to sleep” list. The funny thing about linden is that it inevitably makes me sleepy, as does orange blossom, so any perfume that features either of those notes ends up being an evening only scent. This is actually not a bad thing, as it gives me a handy non-drug sleeping aid with no lingering aftereffects (i.e., no antihistamine hangover).
50 Roses: agree…linden IS intoxicating…a good sleep aid.
I don’t have TV, and these sorts of “news” stories really encourage me to keep it that way! Last I’d heard about Ms. Middlenton’s middle was when there were “baby bump” rumors. Didn’t even realize that the baby was due so soon until it was born already! It definitely goes into the same category as “Who is Snooki and why should I care?” in my brain.
As for linden, I just bought Zeta last week, and I could see how I might be inclined to have another linden scent, if it was different enough. Sure is a welcome summery note this time of year!
Marjorie Rose: TV-less? A PERFECT way to live! I also was shocked at how quickly the news of KM’s pregnancy was followed by BIRTH. HA!
I always think of that Nine Inch Nails album, Pretty Hate Machine when I see this.
And yes, could care less about the ‘royal’ family. My mom is from Wales, so she has a bit more interest..I didn’t inherit the gene. Since I have family from the U.K., I had a chance to taste the food, not really a fan either. No offense to anyone here who is Brit! I am American, what can I say? I don’t care about blood sausage(???), baby bumps Yorkshire Pudding or whatever.
Omega, well…Wales is gorgeous! Ha!
So glad you got to try this–I absolutely adore this as I think I mentioned in your other linden post.
Thegoddess, yes, you put it on my radar.
* My grandmother may have just been a bad cook..she did light the Yorkshire Puds on fire once..LOL. Things I like about England: Brit musicians, among the best I’d say, castles, a bit of literature, rain(I live in the desert) and Yardley products:). And I do love me some malt vinegar on my fries/chips. I would like to visit the U.K. sometime..even if I do have to drive on the wrong side of the road:D.
Omega: vinegary chips…wish I could have that for breakfast today!
Just wanted to say sorry if I offended anyone! I was teasing as I do with my mom sometimes, who is Welsh. But not everyone is my momma! Lol, my mom is Welsh and I am married to a French Canadian..I just let them talk and I stay out of it all, LOL. But ya, America ain’t perfect by any means and I could probably find more things to gripe about this country for sure, most certainly! Oh..like GMO’s???? Some food here is allowed for consumption while being banned in Europe. And there are a lot of fast food places..while food quality gets worse and worse. But I will shut my trap and get back to what’s really important..more than a burger or the baby bump..perfume!:D.
Yes, a culture obsessed with ‘class’, and defunct institutions; but they produced Blake so we (or at least I) will forgive them anything:)
Merlin, me too!
I have really liked every Kerosene fragrance I’ve had a chance to try. Those bottles are really cool but I’ll probably get enough with a decant. Thanks for the review. As to the royals – well, the only thing I object to in your post is the comparison to the Kardashian klan, but it did make me actually laugh out loud. 🙂
ringthing: ha! I do need to try more Kerosene scents…wish you could request the bottle paint job though…some of the colors I love, some I don’t
Is this bash the Brits day or what? I can think of plenty of things about America that are shite, but I’ll refrain from getting into a slanging match over here! One point about the royal family – you’ll find plenty of people can’t stand them in the UK as well, but you can’t deny the amount of tourism they generate, and I’ve seen plenty of overweight, burger-scoffing Americans buying all the memorabilia too….
I’m neither American nor British but I have a family member obsessed with the English royalty and matters of class; so thats the axe I was grinding in my earlier comment. And she’s not English either! Sorry the comment came out a bit harsh:) Given where I’m from I shouldn’t be throwing any stones!
OMFG. Fat burger eating Americans? Ive been to the country-side of England and seen plenty of English fat people, in London not so much. But we should refrain from generalizations when the subject is the perfume, not if the writer thinks the royal family is silly entertainment, as I do.
Your remark about the missing set of teeth is spot on! Thanks, Kevin 🙂
I only get mildly irritated by royal family coverage. After all these are people whose entire function is to buy Brittish products, provide gossip for others and to go to boring, ceremonial events . As a US Citizen, I am not paying for them.
What I am really irritated at, is the national coverage of the primaries for the NY City’s Mayor’s race. Every time I turn on the news, it focuses on the unsurprising fact that a man running for mayor has male anatomy. The moment I hear that is a lead story, I figure out that the reporters have nothing serious to say that day.
Hmmm. Maybe a very softly pretty LInden perfume (which Pretty Machine is) would be a good idea about now.
Dilana…agree! The Weiner/weenie saga is disgusting
Not everyone in Britain is crazy about the coverage of the royal birth
either. But no need to be so nasty, America. And though some of us
may not have many teeth, we do have national health coverage. ie.
everyone can see a doctor when they need one, no matter how wealthy or poor they are. And we manage to pay for the royal family.
Agree with you 100% on “no need to be nasty.”
I have not heard a more appropriate use of the terms “clan” or ‘ilk’ in a long time, as it so perfectly fits with your reference to the Kardashians. 🙂
I am a big fan of Linden, especially when they are blooming in Central Park, NYC. Zeta has been on my ‘need a hefty sample’ list for a while. Now I have another to sample. Thanks, K!
Promise: I have to get my hands on this Zeta everyone is talking about!
If you come down here to Portland, they have all the Tauers at The Perfume House. 🙂
Marjorie Rose…I’ll check it out next time I head south. Thanks.
I believe I once read somewhere that royals, expensive as they are, are not that much more expensive than presidential election campaigns. I am neither British nor American, but my country does have a royal family. Yes they cost us money, but they are part of what constitutes our national identity, whatever that maybe.
Austenfan: I’m sure you’re right about the cost of presidential campaigns…they are interminable. And of course the British can use their tax money in any way they see fit!
And I completely forgot to thank you for reviewing a linden perfume. Real linden blossom is one of my favourite smells in this world, although I have yet to find a perfume that really captures it.
I was, myself a little amused, at the pictures of the chairs and ladders in front of The Hospital. However, anyone who has visited Holland from abroad on our national Queen’s day ( which will be King’s day from now on), must have been amused by all these people in orange clothes. A habit that we, of course, find completely normal.
Hey Austenfan, how do you feel about other news coming out from Great Britain? Jane Austen will appear on British currency
That is of course wonderful news. And no, I hadn’t heard it. So thanks for letting me know.
Sir,
I consider the opening paragraphs of your “review” to be gratuitous and offensive. You would do well to confine your remarks to fragrance rather than the funding of the British monarchy, which is a subject of which you patently have a very incomplete knowledge.
Mr RW: I’ve read quite a bit about the funding of the royal family, all from British news/government sources; I find the subject interesting (even if I’m not the expert on the subject you may be). .
I’m sorry portions of my post offended you (and others); in writing about perfume, a small part of a big world, I rarely confine myself to “fragrance only” content (fragrance does ignite the imagination and leads us in many directions). I certainly reserve the right to approach perfume writing in my own way (as long as my boss, Robin, permits it, of course!)
Very well said, Kevin. And it’s not like you didn’t reference the Kardashians today – you often mention unsavory or silly parts of North American life in your posts or comments, as we all do. Silly thing to get worked up about… If they actually were?! I found all the clanging matches and defense of the national health and false formality of “Sir” as well as references to swindlers and burger-scoffing almost too perfect not to be deliberate parody. But I’m Canadian and self-mockery is *our* heritage.
I agree that Pretty Machine is a lovely scent. What other Kerosene fragrances have you tried? I just got a full sample set, after trying about five of them at MiN in NYC last year. Even if I don’t want a (lovely!) bottle of all of them, I find most of Mr. Pegg’s creations very interesting. Unknown Pleasures, also relatively recent, is probably too sweet for me to use frequently, but is very intriguing anyway. Fields of Rubus is similar – I enjoy it a lot, but can’t see myself wearing so much patchouli often. My favourites are Copper Skies and R’oud Elements, both of which I think you would like.
If I could, I would curtsy! Someone needs to create an emoticon like that 🙂
Erin: thank you! Also, I’ll certainly try those two fragrances.
Hi Kevin – the Queen herself spearheaded a major shake up of Royal finances and made sure Buckingham Palace became entirely self-supporting through opening its doors to tourism a number of years ago. There are other ways the Royals have shifted their financial income to lessen the load on the taxpayer. They are fundamentally decent people that have a genuine sense of responsibility and obligation to the country, regardless what anyone has to say about the institution of Monarchy. However, the NHS can’t seem to make the same efforts. It is so incompetently and stupidly managed (I can vouch for this, I worked for them for years and saw exactly how they used their money) that it is a risible waste and criminal misuse of taxpayer’s money – certainly more responsible for this poor man’s teeth than the Queen. Abolishing the Royal Family will not ensure wealth is more evenly distributed amongst the masses as long as other institutions are so poorly managed. Also, you and I have no idea what the Royals mean and represent to elderly people who lived through times we have been privileged not to have experienced.
You absolutely have every right to talk about whatever you want, it is your blog post. And I feel that I can respond in like. I shall continue to enjoy reading your fragrance reviews for years to come, I hope! They are always superb. xxx
Thanks, Blimunda!
I agree RobWales – as much as I love this site I do think comments should be mostly confined to perfume and not politics. I;m from Wales and we are not particularly pro Royalty but I would prefer not to read scathing comments about our heritage. For better or for worse we have a Royal family and from what I read and hear about the good old USA and THEIR political system the corruption and the money grabbing swindlers – well I’d rather our lot anyday.
Without wanting to further any tensions I thought it worth making clear that Kevin merely compared a British institution to an American one – clearly he does not think highly of either. I don’t think its fair to call this ‘Brit-bashing’, any more than it is US-bashing; nor was it meant (I’m sure he would agree) to disparage any particular culture as a whole (merely an aspect of each).
Also, I don’t think an institution should be immune to criticism because it is part of a ‘tradition’. Thats what progress is about – evaluating the practices of the past and considering whether they should be continued.
And, it’s simply a matter of fact that a review of any type of art makes reference to matters outside of that art. Otherwise it would become boring, insular and repetitive very quickly. I think the same right that allows him to mention his irritation over the latest royal excitement is the very same right that allows us to disagree (or agree) in the comments.
Merlin: I heartily agree…thanks.
I watched Kate and Wills’ wedding and their mother’s before that. I’m a fan. I love Harry. He’s a partying dogooder. If you don’t like it switch it off. She didn’t show til late in her pregnancy which is normal. She’s was fit I never showed until seven months and always wore my college blue jeans home. Once the baby was out I was thin again. I believe those days are over but it’s nice to see the Royal Family happy. I don’t do linden. What’s the point ?
I do agree. I feel a bit nostalgic since as a teenager I watched the new baby’s grandparents get married, and the passage of time – where does it all go so fast? I’m happy to see ANYthing in the news that isn’t horrible and sad. Even perfume coverage in the news is all about whatever new place is banning wearing perfume!
Brits:
You should know of one Royal Birth celebration, regardless of your feelings of the monarchy.
Ormonda Jayne has announced”Celebrate the birth of the Royal Baby with Ormonde Jayne. Enjoy 20% off all day by phone or in store 10am to 8:00pm.
Complimentary Gift
Join us at our Sloane square boutique for champagne and canapes from 6pm to 8pm.
The first fifteen customers to purchase in store from 6pm will receive 100 ml bathing oil in a glass decanter rrp £56.00
Looking forward to seeing you all
Linda x
Venue:
Ormonde Jayne,
192 Pavillion Road,
Sloane Square,
London SW3 2BF
Date:
Wednesday July 31st
Time:
By phone 10am to 8pm
0207 7301381 or
0207 4991100
In store party 6pm- 8pm.
I have no idea what the time is in London at the moment I am posting this in the USA. However, maybe the discount can be stretched into tomorrow.
This has been the BEST way to have learned of the “royal” baby’s name. I don’t watch television and my internet surfing is limited to perfume sites – plus I haven’t even glanced at any tabloids this week at the market – so I have been blissfully unaffected by the royal pr machine. To learn the name at the very end of a linden fragrance review made my evening!!
Jubba: glad to oblige!
Just chiming in to say that we do, in fact, try to avoid political discussions here. I read Kevin’s post before it went live and didn’t really think anything of it; it struck me as more about being tired of hearing about the celebrity status (something we DO often talk about) of individuals rather than a huge political statement — or about bashing Brits — but mea culpa, obviously some people took it another way. So be it, but as always when discussions are not going happily, I’d like it if we could all just drop the subject now and move on to other things. Nobody meant to offend anybody, but we DO talk about things other than perfume and that isn’t going to change.
I’m a proud American who loves hearing all about the Royals; it’s the tradition and pageantry and I don’t know what else. I just enjoy it! My ancestry is mostly British, so maybe it’s a genetic memory of some sort 🙂
I don’t have a TV, either, so I got my news form the internet, and am always happy to welcome a new babe into the world, regardless of its station in life. I wish him and his family every possible joy.
I’ve really liked the Kerosene scents I’ve tried so I look forward to trying this as well. I just bought a linden scent while away for the weekend in Maine. It’s not really “me” but I thought it would make a nice bedtime scent after a hot bath. It was very soothing to me and the price was right. I would guess the Kerosene one is a bit more interesting.
I love the royal family but I can also appreciate your opinion and see no sense to make a fuss over it. If we can disagree politely about perfume we can disagree about other things as well. I love the royals because I see them as the last vestige of traditions and etiquette. I really miss those things in today’s world. I was totally born in the wrong time period. In my dream world I live at Downton Abbey and I go to school at Hogwart’s.
Poodle…give me those Hogwarts powers!
“The Attic warbler pours her throat” – am loving this line.. And Mike Leigh! – I need to watch more of his films- I really liked Another Year..
I haven’t tried any of the Kerosenes- roses and whips sounds the most tempting of the line, to me
Lavanya: I’ve started a Mike Leigh marathon recently…CAREER GIRLS is good too.
I’m going to confess that I’ve never sampled either Kerosene or Slumberhouse, despite all the positive reviews, because of the names. I can be so shallow. I hope they’re not DCed by the time I get around that. Your review is a helpful nudge in that direction.
Noz: I am a Slumberhouse ‘virgin’ too.
Slumberhouse’s scents are absolutely never boring. I can’t get into anything by Kerosene, though I’ve tried because I know others who love them to death. I just never enjoy sniffing them.
(And I have to say, I can see how Kerosene’s name would be offputting – most of us don’t want to snort kerosene – but can’t quite see what’s offputting in the name of Slumberhouse? Like, related to slumber party or something?)
Slumberhouse doesn’t sound bad to me, I just don’t get it. I feel like they are trying to be hip in a way that’s unlikely to lead to something that would interest me. The only way to find out would be to sample, but launch fatigue and the resulting backlog of samples have intervened.
I too avoid perfumes with ugly names. I don’t mind Kerosene, but “Opium” and “Poison” to my mind glamorize addiction and homicide. When Obsession came out, a friend was trying to cope with a stalker, so I avoid that one as well.
I agree (although I’ve come around to a vintage Opium mini)! I’m particularly turned off by violent imagery such as the Flowerbomb and Spicebomb grenade bottles and Juliet Has a Gun.
Linden! I have been toying with getting a FB of Zeta but haven’t triggered it yet as I keep finding more and more perfumes to love ahead of it. If I get a good deal on it somehow (such as a GWP over the holidays at LuckyScent), I may get it.
As to Kerosene Pretty Machine, I remember trying it at MinNY but sadly don’t recall it much which means I need to take another trip to MinNY (and Osswalds and Atelier Cologne with the NEW SILVER IRIS!).
Thanks for your review, Kevin!
Hajusuuri…I envy you access to MiN.
By the way, Britain has universal health care. The toothless old guy can get teeth if he wants them – free. And, it seems, they have enough left over for the royals.
Geez, I wish people would lighten up and find the humor in things. I don’t think Kevin’s remark was written to bash anyone,, rather just a humorous observation.
I don’t think it was bashing anyone/thing and I think people are likely offended simply because the author is American. But this review seems kind of bizarre to me. I don’t understand how the opening of the review and the fragrance are related.
Engelwurz: I’ll happily accept “bizarre”…the arrival of the royal babe coincided with the arrival of Pretty Machine in my house…the two became linked, as things often do, via the scent of linden…it mingled with the barrage of media images I saw every time I turned on my computer.
I lost interest in the royal baby as soon as they announced the gender; I, along with many many others, was hoping for a girl, as has been hinted at. I already watched (via the media) 2 princes grow up, it would have been nice to see a princess. Oh well, at least Sweden has one. As long as the little family is happy and healthy, that’s what’s important. But I totally get your exasperation, Kevin. Also, have never tried linden, wonder where I could get a sample?
GateGirl: MiN New York sells samples and would mail you one…think they’re around 4 bucks (if you’re in the US).
I am in the U.S. actually. The frag sounds nice, esp. the jasmine/rose/musk combo. Do you think it’s good for office wear?
GateGirl…perfect for the office
Sweet…I’ll have to look them up. Luckily I’m not too far from NY.