Spending three weeks at a writer’s retreat in France — a country known for its dedication to the art de vivre — leads me to ponder the good life. What is the “good life” exactly? To me, it can be just about everything that happens beyond adequate food, shelter, and sound health. Living the good life doesn’t have to be expensive. The key is to pay attention and to take risks. As Auntie Mame, my guide in all matters spiritual, says, “Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death.”
Rather than pontificate, I offer some concrete examples on the good life I’ve experienced over the past few weeks:
Try new things. Oh, I know what an effort it is to get up an hour earlier or attempt a cartwheel twenty years after your last one or extract a saddle of rabbit when armed with nothing but a carving knife and instructions from the internet. It’s a pain. But it snaps you out of your groove and lets you tune in to the good life when it’s actually happening so you don’t miss it. Sure, negotiating public transportation from the Nice airport to my hotel was a challenge, especially when laid on top of jet leg, but it led to my meeting a terrific woman and having dinner at her house prepared by a sous chef from the Hotel Negresco. When life offers you this kind of challenge, see it as an and opportunity and take it. You never know where it will lead.
Take risks. Yesterday, the retreat’s dog and I wandered nearly an hour too far on a trail. I didn’t bring hiking shoes, and a storm had clouded over the distant, snow-capped Pyrenees. Soon wind whipped the scub oaks and roared over the limestone-ridged hills. Lightening made vicious streaks from sky to earth. Wow! I returned home drenched, with blistered feet, but so happy from all the wildness. I even rubbed down the dog with a dry cotton tablecloth and watched him do a happy dance then nestle in a pile of leaves in the art studio for a nap. Definitely worth the risk.
Slow down. I’ve gone to happy hours for years, but I like apéro time at the retreat much better. Rather than down cheap hamburgers and dollar-off well drinks at a noisy bar, why not linger over a glass of rosé and steamed artichokes at home with a friend? (Add homemade mayonnaise for the cost of an egg, some oil, and five minutes.) Similarly, it’s o.k. to nap and read for a while rather than stress about vacuuming the car or checking twitter. I’m only writing a couple thousand words a day tops, but I feel recharged and re-inspired.
Eat well. Not expensively, but well. Last night we had a potato-cabbage-lardons-leftover cheese gratin with stale bread crumbled over it. Fabulous and ultra cheap. (The charlotte with strawberries for dessert was pretty danged amazing, too.) If you’re having bread and butter for breakfast, make it good bread with ultra-creamy butter. Don’t waste your time with lousy coffee if you can help it. Choose local, seasonal food whenever possible, even if you have to grow it (or buy it from Monsieur Garcia down the street).
Recognize that perfection does not equal beauty. It’s so easy to think a face must be free of lines and a floor swept of dust bunnies to be beautiful. Not so. For proof of the lines bit, I offer Charlotte Rampling. A knock out. As for floors, the floor my feet touch right now lays in a clever pattern of cracked, uneven thick stone tiles. I love it.
Finally, use all your senses. The sound of traffic in the city, an aria escaping from an apartment’s open window, frogs at night in the country, bird song, roosters crowing in the valley — this is found music. The taste of your mouth after eating a piece of brebis cheese, after brushing your teeth, after putting a cut finger to your lips — pay attention. The choices you make with the texture of your sheets, the silkiness of your bath water, and the warm but heavy bronze ring you wear all add to the good life.
Of course, this is where perfume comes in. We’re lucky we’ve discovered the marvel of fragrance. Sure, it would be wonderful to have a shelf bulging with expensive perfumes (the new Aedes de Venustas Signature and L’Artisan Parfumeur Séville à l’aube when it comes out are high on my list), but as long as we appreciate the fragrances we have and even the ambient scents of creek water, wet dog, stormy winds, fire, burnt toast, or a hearty Côtes du Rhône, we’re living the good life for sure. Auntie Mame would be proud.
Note: both images [cropped] via La Muse, where Angie is staying.
What a delightful post! And I thoroughly agree. We’ve all been blessed with a world that contains much beauty – even if it also contains ugliness. Failure to appreciate and celebrate that beauty lets the ugliness win. Thanks for the vicarious vacation and enjoy your trip!
That’s exactly the point! Beauty is all over the place and reasonably easy to cultivate and notice, if you make the slightest effort.
Thanks for the travel wishes!
Thank you, Angela. It sounds as if you’re having a wonderful, life-affirming time. I live by what you say, most of the time. Carpe diem. I made a choice years ago to never waste an opportunity to have fun, live well, etc. To live your best life. Even small things such as using the best china and silver everyday. Most of us are conditioned by our parents or just from observation to save the good stuff for special occasions, but I think it’s important and fun to make every day special. I also don’t fret or worry about things, as I know that by doing so, you make matters seem worse than it really is. I’m an incurable optimist! Enjoy the rest of your vacance!
I’m an optimist, too! Even things that could seem a downer can be marvelous. For instance, right now it’s raining cats and dogs. I can be upset that I can’t wander the countryside, or I can revel in the chance to sit by the fire and read. My choice.
Well put! That’s how I operate as well. I don’t waste time dwelling on the negative, but instead, I focus on the good stuff and before I know it, marvelous things happen!
So true!
May I doff my hat to you and your observations, too many people go their whole lives without this simple life view. I especially like your line, don’t waste your time on lousy coffee. How correct you are in so many things. The best time of my life (so far) was 8 months in Aix in a sort of ratty third floor apartment, shopping everyday at the market, getting to know my local cheese monger, bread seller and favorite waiter. I had so so water, no shower, shutters that banged and annoyed me daily and I LOVED it! Thank you for bringing back the memory and I think it’s time to plan another adventure! Have a grand time on yours.
I love the sound of your six months in Aix! I love your approach, too.
Hello Angela, glad to hear you’ve got so great memories from France, and glad to see you back in your place.
Well, your post really made me think and my thinking will probably last for a while.
You know, I live my life in a rather safe way, despite I’m young I’m afraid of making a change, doing something unscheduled, extraordinary…
Everyone is afraid of making change, really. You can always think of a hundred reasons not to dare even the tiniest change. But why not be brave and see what happens?
Wonderful post, Angela! You have described this concept perfectly, in multiple sensory modalities
Thanks for encouraging us to find joy and contentment in the amazing things around us. I think it was Elizabeth Barret Browning who wrote about the whole world being on fire, like Moses’ burning bush, but most are too blind to see it. Sorry I cannot find the exact quote, but it speaks to waking up to the amazing world around us.
Perfumistas in general tend to delight in the senses, I think. It’s good to slow down, and savor our experiences. Enjoy your holiday. It sounds amazing. Thanks for taking time to share it with your readers at NST. Be well.
I love the Elizabeth Barrett Browning allusion, and now I will have to find that quote!
Beautifully said, Angela.
Thank you!
Thank you, Angela. This is a beautiful post that reminds me of all the good things I experience daily. Your writing has become an important part of my own “good life.”
You are very nice to say so! If I can be part of anyone’s good life, than my mission is accomplished for sure.
What a wonderful post, Angela. Thank you for the reminder to smell the roses along the way … though expressed in much more delicious detail.
Making mental note to remember these lovely thoughts when I find myself (alone) in Bologna this October attempting an Italian immersion course. Merci et amuse-toi bien!
It’s scary but exciting to think of being alone in Bologna, but I know you’re not only up to it, you’ll thrive. Once you’re home, I bet the time away will continue to act upon you for months as you deepen your idea of what’s beautiful and know that you can handily manage a city bus then alight in a street and dodge vespas then safely flirt with a waiter and go home satisfied and happy.
I heard a cuckoo bird twice today, as I was walking my dog in the woods. I instantly thought of your last post.
It’s good to savour the small things in life, and to sit still and think. Most of us live in too much of a hurry.
These stories you are posting from France are really wonderful. Have you tried any of the local olive oil? ( if there is any where you are) French olive oil is expensive, but very,very good.
A nearby town, Mas Cabardes, used to be known for its olive fields, but they’re mostly gone now. We do have plenty of good olive oil in the kitchen, though. I’ll have to check to see if any is local. I can tell you right away the local wine is plenty good.
Thank you a thousand times Angela. I needed this today. I do really try to savour every day from the smell of my daughters’ hair after playing in the sun to eating organically with lots of homecooking but sometimes life gets on top of me. I need to just breathe and slow down. ‘He lives most life, whoever breathes most air’ EBB
A little girl’s head smells best of all! I suppose even having a few minutes to slow down and appreciate it is a luxury in and of itself.
A beautifully evocative account of what sounds like an amazing experience! I lived for a year on the Riviera working as a teaching assistant (>30 years ago – eek!), and loved exploring the hinterland of Provence and further afield. That whole area is so heart stoppingly beautiful that you are constantly reminded of the simple pleasures of a nice bit of cheese or a glass of wine, or the sun glinting on water. One of the highlights of the year was being invited to a dinner party in a lighthouse. I don’t know who knew the lighthouse keeper but I do remember the garlicky bowl of mussels we ate, mopping up the juices with bits of baguette…
Haha – I started off talking about the scenery, and got straight on to food! Well, I guess France is noted for both. : – )
I have been eating ridiculous amounts of food. As soon as I’m home, it’s salads and jumping jacks for me.
A dinner in a lighthouse! That sounds so wonderful. No wonder you remember so keenly even now.
Did you get a hard time for mopping up the sauce? When I was there I went out with a french friend and he acted like I wasn’t supposed to do that! I didn’t care if it did offend him, I wasn’t going to let buttery white wine and garlic go to waste! He ended up a good foodie friend anyway because I adored stinky cheese LOL and we bonded at the annual cheese festival of Baynon.
Becoming good friends over cheese? Now that’s something I can relate to!
How timely Angela. We are just coming to the end of a spectacular long weekend in the Canadian northeast. Crystal blue skies, vivid green young leaves and a beautiful breeze to keep the horrendous blackflies at bay. We were going to hop in the car and drive to a farming area about 30 mins. away because it is apple blossom time there and truly one of the most beautiful, magical sights you can imagine, but then looked out over our backyard to the sparkling lake, pulled up some chairs and made ourselves lattes with expensive, organic, fair trade coffee in our fully automatic Italian espresso machine and relaxed. I totally hear ya about taking time to see and hear the beauty around us no matter what it is. And as for cheap coffee? Better none at all! (our friends think we’re ridiculous and they’re probably right!). And as for not denying ourselves or our senses, I’m eagerly awaiting some Fleurs de Rocaille in extrait, should be here tomorrow. The nose will not be denied . . . . . .
That all sounds so wonderful! Enjoy an extra shot of espresso for me, please, and be sure to sleep late and roll out of bed drinking in the fresh cool lake air and bird song.
It is pretty nice, but if perchance a ticket to France happened my way I probably would forget to pack in my haste to get to the airport! Your post makes me want to go more than ever!
It is pretty terrific. Today’s my last day here….
Angela, you are fabulous! I love this post and I’m am bookmarking it so I can read it again when I need to remember to appreciate the little things and not stress over my inability to be perfect. I am so glad you are having a great time and that we all get to enjoy hearing about your journey. Thank you.
Poodle, I was just about to say the same thing! Angela, your post is entertaining and inspiring. Thanks!!!
Thank you! I hope everyone gets a little time away at least once a year.
I’m glad it brings a little inspiration! It’s so, so easy to forget to slow down and enjoy life. I’ll be back in my normal routine soon, and I’m hoping this time away won’t disappear in my memory and become subsumed by my daily routine.
Beautiful post lovely Angela! I try to live my life much in this philosophy but can easily get caught up in the grind. Time off is key I think to help us remember to sit back and appreciate it all. My sweet life is aflame with change right now, just back from my honeymoon and looking foreward to my eldest graduating from high school. My heart is bursting with love and pride and happiness and some sorrow. But what a beautiful thing it all is. Thank you for the remarkable post…I will be bookmarking it too!
My gosh! You really are at a crossroads–a wonderful crossroads, too. Enjoy every minute of it!
Great post and wise advice!
I’m also greatly looking forward to L’AP Séville à l’aube. Was lucky to have won a sample to sniff while reading The Perfume Lover. I was recovering from dental surgery (no pain, thanks to Lady Vi) and remanded to bed rest. It was so FABULOUS to have to do nothing except read and ice the jaw. You never know what will turn out to be fun!
That’s so funny! Anyone who can make the most of dental surgery gets the Auntie Mame trophy!
Lovely post. Great reminder to live each day to its fullest. I enjoy my work, earn a decent wage and live within my means. If I want to buy little indulgences (hee, guess what I am talking about) or splurge on a fabulous vacation, I do, because I deserve it. Too often people fear doing something different or worry about what other people think; in my opinion, if you are not doing anything self-destructive or harmful to others – do not ask permission, JUST DO IT!
That’s right! People are generally more than willing to tell you not to wear such a bright lipstick or laugh so loud or trade in your usual lunch salad for creme caramel once in a while, but that’s all about their own fears. Enjoy life!
Your writing is so transporting! I love having embarked on this delightful sojourn in France with you (at least, it feels like I have after reading your wonderful prose). Am I the only one who thinks your rainy day escapades echo a particular scene in Sense & Sensibility? Marianne Dashwood, anyone? I think she would particularly live and appreciate the good life.
P.S. I had to share this post on Twitter. It’s too good to miss!
That’s so nice! I need to get back to tweeting. I can never think of anything to say that I think is worth interrupting someone’s time for.
Oh, now I desperately want a copy of Sense and Sensibility to read on the plane! I’ll just try not to fall off any dangerous seaside rocky outcroppings in the meantime….
Really enjoyed this piece. I’ve thought long and hard about what the good life is too and it inspired me to set up my own website called The Good Life France which I blog on about my daily life and the area I live in. For me its not about money and luxury (though i wouldn’t mind them!) its about having the time to appreciate all that we have – my animals, the fresh air, the time to be with my partner, a walk along the beach… and, there is a wonderful perfume shop near me in Abbeville where they will make up a perfume geared towards you personally for a crazy low fee.
Gosh! That sounds divine. I hope perfume is part of your good life, too. I’ll check out your website for sure!
Angela: Wonderful post!! It sounds like you are having a wonderful time and your own crackling storm moment, a la, Room with a View. I try as much as I can to live in the moment and enjoy the little things – some are “delicacies” and some are just recognizing the privilege of taking a hot shower every day. This spring I am enjoying making mud pies with my daughter and avoiding the internet as much as possible on the weekends. I’m enjoying the Goutals that seem so in-nature and gardeny – Gardenia Passion (one of my fav tuberose now), Heure Exquise, and Eau de Ciel. I look forward to more reports – it is fun to live vicariously. Just the other night I was dreaming that JUST my husband and I had Eurail passes for the summer…..
I love Room With a View! Great reference. I also love your reference to Goutals to remind you of the good life. I hope those mud pies were stellar!
I think Room with a View is my favorite movie. It’s perfect.
It’s such a romantic film.
Wonderful post Angela. It sounds like you’re having quite a lovely time and thanks for sharing.
I’m on my way home now, sadly. In fact, I’m writing this from the Denver airport…
So you see why I’m an absolute francophile, to the point of marrying a Frenchman. My year in Lyon with a wonderful French family at age 21 did it to me. I learned to take pleasure in the small things. I learned to spend time in the kitchen and at the table. And so many other things. Vive la France, sa mode, ses vins, sa cuisine et surtout, ses parfums.
Oh, I get it, all right! The trick for me will be to bring some of that France home with me.
What a marvelous adventure you are having! You and that dog must be quite good friends now, having braved the elements together and come through the other side.
Wonderful article, my friend.
I adore that dog. He’s such a smart, friendly guy, and boy does he love his walks. It was all I could do to keep from smuggling him in to bed.
That retreat sounded so restful, and the dog sounds wonderful, naps with the big dawgs are so restful!
I’ve noticed simple things done well are much more satisfying and meaningful. It may be a meal of cheese fruit with a glass of wine on the back porch, or Adas Polow and a mixed greens salad at a friend’s, but the enjoyment of the moment are what’s important. Lovely article as always!
Of course, I immediately looked up Adas Polow, and it looks delicious! Pretty healthy, too. I’m going to try it soon.