Smelling Comme des Garçons Series 1: Leaves, Tea revved up my imagination; I’ll consult a psychologist to figure out why the following scenario came to mind:
Fresh off the assembly line, still warm from the conveyor belt, G.I. Joe and Ken (I should say one G.I. Joe and one Ken out of hundreds of G.I. Joes and Kens) spot each other.
Ken: “He’s cute…so tan….”
G.I. Joe: “That guy’s handsome. Wait, is he wearing false eyelashes!?”
After introducing themselves, the two dolls agree to meet for a date at Tango Barbie’s new Argentine café: Té!Té!Olé!
Later that day:
Tango Barbie, wearing Series XOXO: Artificial, Rosa Plástica Eau de Parfum, sees G.I. Joe and Ken, and shouts: “Hola, my darlings! My cute ones! Bien venidos! Ken, I LOVE your white vinyl trench…so Catherine Deneuve/1970! Y Jesus Vendito, Joe, your poncho is to die for! Twirl! Twirl! What will you boys be drinking?”
Ken orders maté tea (he’s warming to all things Argentine) and G.I. Joe, on ‘duty,’ orders a strong, smoky black tea. “Hold the sugar and milk, Barbie.”
In this imagined scene, I ‘smell’ new vinyl and plastic, paint, polyester, an imitation rose note, Jōvan Musk (a drop or two on G.I. Joe’s chest), and tea, tea, tea (a strange, over-steeped, acidic brew).* But I don’t have to imagine anything, because this is how Commes des Garçons Tea actually smells right out of the bottle. Tea’s top notes smell fake, abstract, “constructed” and designed to outlast the Earth itself (such tenacity)! But even stranger than Tea’s notes is my reaction to the perfume: I like it!
At first spritz, Tea was hated by all the people I asked to sniff it. After several hours on skin, maté and black tea aromas dominate and Tea smells its best. The same people who were disgusted by Tea in the morning, raved about it and wanted it for themselves come afternoon. Tea is a text-book example of: “try before you buy.”
The dolls? Ken proposed to Tango Barbie (a BUSINESS proposal) and he invested all his Monopoly money in Té!Té!Olé! which is now a franchise. One look at a swarthy Gaucho Ken set G.I. Joe on a whole new career path (poncho intact).
Comme des Garçons Series 1: Leaves, Tea Eau de Toilette (long lasting with good sillage) is $82 for 50 ml; for buying information, see the listing for Comme des Garçons under Perfume Houses
*Tea’s official notes: black tea, bergamot zest, rose, cedar, maté absolute.
Writer’s Note: Tango Barbie and Gaucho Ken exist only in my imagination.
Note: top left image is Ilex paraguariensis [cropped]. Top right, yerba mate. Both via Wikimedia Commons.
Lower left image is mannequin 2 by fontplaydotcom at flickr; some rights reserved. Lower center image is Sad Mannequin Eyes by TheGiantVermin at flickr; some rights reserved. Lower right, Baby's In Black and I'm Feeling Blue by Thomas Hawk at flickr; some rights reserved.
Hehehehe.. As an Argentinian I cannot help but comment…
First… if anyone cares and has 5 minutes to spare, check this video to see how to prepare a good Mate (pronounced Mah-Teh, slightly accented on the first part)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQya4rgG_cc
Then.. It is Ok that Barbie assumed that “Olé” in the title makes sense, but here Olé is practically not used, it is commonly used in spain and a liiiitle more in México. Anyway the name is as good as it could as I cannot for the love of me think of something truly argentinian that rhymes with Te!
And last.. Dios Bendito goes with B not with V, (Bendito means Blessed), but I guess that was a Typo…
Other than that, you just made my afternoon and I am re-reading this many times and trying to hide little laughs from my coworkers.
BRILLIANT!
kg: Something truly Argentinian that rhymes with Té??!
Why CHE, of course!!! Argentinians I have known seem to throw that word into every conversational sentence at least once! Well anyway, it’s a thought!
Right… Shame on me!
I would chime in with some words that we use, but I don’t think the Spanish we speak down here makes any sense to anyone outside of Bexar County. It drove my Cuban boss crazy. Anyway, I’ve missed you guys due to computer problems and this article made my day. I loved this review and maybe this will finally be a tea scent I can like. I’ve been trying to find the one for me and I have sampled at least half a dozen – I’m trying out Tea for Two for the first time today. I’ve generally found them more “interesting” than wearable. I have liked everything I’ve tried from CdG so far, so I will probably give this one a try. And I will probably think of Ken and Joe with a chuckle every time I spray it. Thanks for a great review Kevin!
Julia: you’re welcome.
KG: Well, I had a Mexican friend translate HOLY JESUS/Jesus Vendito for me and that’s what I got (and it is in the dictionary too). I know usage varies from country to country…. Now to look at the mate video clip!
Lol, you just made my day, thanks! I have noticed quite a few of the CDG Tea scents start out strange, then morph into something beautiful. I think I need a sample of this one for sure!
Kalynna: yes, SAMPLE first!
… in which you subliminally tease your readers (or at least one of them) about CSP Thé yet again.
True story: I just about cried one Christmas morning when I was six, I think, after unwrapping a GI Joe from Santa Claus. That Santa really gets his lists mixed up sometimes. However, I enjoy your scenario above, and I’m curious about Joe’s new career path. I also really need to smell this CDG for the heck of it. Sometimes I think I should concentrate on really getting to know one line like CDG in depth and smelling the entire collection. Good luck to me on that… but I thank you for always bringing new scents to the forefront of my brain, and closer to the top of my “must try” list.
Oh, and I would definitely be EAGER to sniff — at least once –Series XOXO: Artificial, Rosa Plástica.
From the name, I bet Rosa plastica smells pretty much like ysl Pariesenne… With Barbie in the Limo instead of Ms Moss. And the dusty pink hues from the Ad replaced with flashy hot pink ones!
Zazie: could be! HA!
Joe: I’m predicting you won’t like tea, but I’ve been wrong in the past!
Kevin, I think you are reading minds lol I was just thinking today that I don’t have a leafy, herbal fragrance at my wardrobe, and then I thought of this series of comme des garcons. Lovely review, this fragrance looks like a nice and warm tea that woth being sampled
H: yes, it warms up nicely and ends up smelling great.
I do find the almost artificial take on some notes from CDG really fun and exciting. I get the same from a lot of Demeter’s frags, but don’t feel it’s done on purpose there. With CDG, every note is there for a reason and makes testing them out an interesting ride to say the least. And is this even in the same cafe as CSP Thé? Inquiring minds want to know.
Thanks for the fun review.
AbScent: no, this does not compare with my beloved CSP!
LOVE it, Kevin! Thanks for the laugh. I want to go to Te!Te!Ole!!! And I’ve been wanting a tea fragrance forever. Haven’t dived (dove? delved?) into it full force yet. It’s been on the back burner for awhile. Only sniffing things as I come across them, with no luck. I suppose spring may re-energize my desire to search for that perfect tea scent. I’ve seen the negative reviews on CdG’s Tea scent, but wonder if it’s because people review before giving it a chance? Sounds like the drydown is worth the wait!
Karin: the drydown is great, but I sort of like the top notes too…who knew my love of vinyl? It reminds me of my first bean bag chair.
Oh, that smell of Barbie skin…since my progressive mother did not allow me to have them (Barbies) as a child, the smell has all kind of powerful associations with Not My World…
Thanks for a romp through 12″ doll land.
This is worthy of Todd Haynes curating. 
(Superstar: The Karen Carpenter story, told with Barbies, for those of you who might think I’ve gone wonky. Which I might have, but nonetheless…)
As for the CdG scent itself…a morpher, eh? Will look forward to trying some; I do enjoy a good show, especially when it has a happy ending.
Ah, leave it to Barbie to unite the progressives and conservatives! My mother wouldn’t allow them either…but because they were immoral.
I wasn’t allowed to have one either, until my mom found a French Barbie and decided that was acceptable. I feel the need to add that she looked far more like a hooker than any other Barbie. (This was typical Mom Inconsistency. She also refused to let me and my friends watch a movie that had brief nudity in it when I was a kid, but then let us rent “Flashdance.”) Doesn’t matter, since I ended up cutting off her hair, putting pins in her, and making her “punk rock Barbie.”
Miss K: all the Barbies I knew were always getting magic marker tattoos from bored little girls…icky!
Boojum: oh, no! I can’t remember many of my sister’s dolls, but I thought Barbie was downright wholesome compared to a doll named Chrissie I believe…her hair grew out of the top of her head…you pulled and the ponytail kept growing! Somehow, lewd!
Hey! I had a Talking Chrissy doll –let me tell you, that was the vanguard of doll technology right there! Yup, you could just pull that hair right out the top of her head and then crank the knob on her back to wind it right back in. It was quite the envy of the 6 yr old girl group, that’s for darn sure. Besides, by that time the dog had chewed Barbie’s leg quite badly so in games she always had to be an explorer who ended up on the wrong side of a bear. Most distressing.
Great backstory for her, though: “Arctic Survival Barbie”!
My son used to play with my daughter’s Barbies by making them jump off the cliff (the piano bench) into the ocean (the rug) and then having them eaten by sharks.
Her name was Tressy! At least, that was the name of the first-generation “growing hair” doll, the one I had. When you tired of the ponytail look, you could give her a shorter hairdo by cranking the hair back in, as Daisy said. Unfortunately, this inevitably led to the day when her hair jammed the gears, and poor Tressy was stuck with a midlength ‘do forever after.
I finally was allowed one doll … Chrissie! And yes, her tresses went in and out at the turn of a knob. Speaking of problematic, I seem to recall her being referred to as “pull out Chrissie”. Pulling the hair was how you got it back to long after winding it in. Unless, of course, you cut it in an ill-advised attempt to “style” it as suggested on the package. Not that I’d know any of this.
SS: no perfume tragedies here! But perhaps an ongoing novela with Tango Barbie, Ken, Gaucho Ken and GI?
Yes! I can’t wait for the next installment!
I had a set of hippies dolls that came with a pregnant mom who wore a (permanently attached) headscarf, a dad with a beard, two kids, camping equipment, and a Volkswagen van.
I sometimes feel compelled to point out that original Barbie target audience (baby-boomers) grew up to lead the feminist movement, kick down doors, and break glass ceilings. They were at the vanguard of the fight for equal opportunities to many of the things we now take for granted like access to higher education. Maybe Barbie inspired them. I certainly wanted to be like her more than those hippie dolls I had.
I’m loving the image of your hippie doll family — Commune Barbie!
Absolutely! A serial novella would be fabulous.
I have to go back and comment about the Chrissie doll…
Oh, Lord… let me wipe the Diet Rite cola off my keyboard now. I should never read Kevin posts at work – I wind up having to explain why I’m giggling.
Sadly, no one understands.
mals; how could they?!
Kevin, you have some weird fantasies dude. Let me know the psychologists’ diagnosis, haha. Calamus is on my sample list, but not these two. Maybe i should add them, huh?
Rictor: PLEASE! Let’s not call it a “fantasy!” HAHAHA! I don’t have a thing for plastic boys! Calamus is very very nice too…but must be worn on a necklace and reapplied all day long.
Silly Billy! Fantasies aren’t just about “that” – this was a fantasy in that it was a made-up story out of your head that was fantastical, yeah?
Tama: YES!
Kevin, I only started reading NST in the last year, so I have the pleasure of working my way slowly but systematically through all the reviews. On a whim, I started with yours (it was the tiger ; -), and I find the combination of beautifully selected and composed art, a sense of imagination that captures the essence of a scent better than any list of notes, graceful writing style, and welcoming wit and repartee irresistible! Egoiste is one example of an FB I now own and enjoy as a result of your reviews, and my “to try” list grows nearly every time you post. THANK YOU!!
Off topic, but I must compliment you on your gravatar, Nozknoz. The “My Sin” cat– most excellent. I bow to you.
Good eye, GGPERFUME, and thank you!
Nozknoz: THANK YOU so much, and in the spirit of Tango Barbie: XOXO, too!
This made my day. It also made me want to hunt down the former roommate who stole my prized Earring Magic Ken doll.
Miss K: ok, you must explain: what in the world is an Earring Magic Ken Doll?
Enjoy!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earring_Magic_Ken
(A google search also turns out many lovely photos, including one that is not of a Ken doll, but rather a real person–mystifying.)
Miss K: HAHA! La Cage aux Ken!
Haha I had Earring Magic Barbie!
Trashiest barbie ever!
My sister had a Makeup Barbie thing.
You guys have me spewing my after-work chamomile tea! Earring Magic Ken?! Noooo….. :-0
I hate to be redundant, but this totally made my day, too.
I don’t know what else to say.
BlackRaspberry: thanks!
Dear Kevin,
Please have (and share) more fantasies like this one.
Sincerely,
Barbie (and Krishna)
SuddenlyInexp: I will try my best….To Be Continued
Kevin, thanks for the laughs. Your post was a ray of sunshine during the second blizzard of the week. We have over 40 inches of snow already (about 28″ from the Saturday blizzard). I’ve been sampling the CdC line but haven’t tried the Leaves series yet.
im right there with you. i live in laurel and my back is in the best shape of my life from all the snow shoveling!
Filomena: !!!!!!!!!! Unbelieveable! Glad you have some goodies to sample inside.
Now I can’t decide if I should run away, or rush to order (a sample, of course) faster. This has been lingering on the list for awhile, since I do love a good tea scent, but it sounds like this isn’t quite that. It also sounds like it might be very interesting in its own right.
boojum: do give it a try, and the great tea scent by Parfumerie Generale too…I’m too lazy to look up the name, spelling, but I believe it’s Eau Rare Metale?
That’s it… there’s also Hyperessence Matale, which I asked for a sample of with a LuckyScent order the other day. Very eager to try that.
Joe: THAT ONE I predict you’ll like. A bottle is calling my name I’m afraid.
If I like it, I have a decant connection, so let me know if you want my “secret eye-spy information.”
Like the scent, love the review! I think I’ve posted this before, but Leaves:Tea was the subject of my all-time favorite user review on Luckyscent: “Think of a huge tea house that sells every Black tea known-to man, It has just burned to the ground and little vinyl/PVC body suit clad geisha women are throwing roses on the whole smoldering mess.”
Lilydale: VINYL cannot be escaped on this one, can it?
HA! I just know Ken’s white vinyl trench is belted snugly, while G.I. Joe’s poncho strains ever so slightly (and yet becomingly) across his plastic chest.
The notes for this sound very intriguing – now I have to order a sample. Thank you for another hysterical and excellent review!
yes, it sounds like G.I. Joe and Ken are the perfect compliment.
But even as a child I wondered at the somewhat disturbing fact that while Ken ( I never had a G.I. Joe) has molded on tighty-plastics , Barbie had no undies at all! I was sure there was some offensive social commentary going on there….but then I’d be quickly distracted by Barbie’s pink Corvette….
Dzingnut: yes, Ken’s trench is VERY tightly bound and above the knee, of course….
Does anyone else see a resemblance between the right-hand mannequin (the one with the green background) and Arnold Schwarzenegger? No?
There may *have been* a resemblance. In 1962.
Joe: I was about to say the same thing! HA!
I was thinking more ’82, but yes. . . something about the corner of the lips.
Kevin— Before I got unduly distracted by the inconsistencies of doll undergarments I was going to say how much I enjoyed your article. Thoroughly enjoyable. The CdG line makes for interesting sniffing even though there are only a few I’d really wear. These sound like a good interesting sniff.
You go ahead and share your imaginary scenarios with us—it’s therapeutic and we’re so much cheaper than professional help.
Daisy: TRUE! Everyone is being so “kind” to me re: the runaway imagination
Love it! I haven’t tried any of the green series. I love CdG both conceptually and for having amazingly wearable weirdo scents. My jury is out on tea scents so far – I have only tried a few, though.
My friend had a big mirror that she used as a skating rink for her Barbies and Kens, and then they would all retire to the bordello she had set up. Ahem.
As an adult, one of my friends would repackage Barbies for me for my birthday, re-dressing them in hooker gear, skirt up, with an MC Hammer doll, pants down; or a couple of New Kids on the Block dolls going at it. Made for a fun interlude at my birthday parties.
Well, dolls creep me out, but I bravely read through this review. Genius, I say! Perhaps a whole CDG fantasy series?
You are wonderful, Kevin. However, the fragrance doesn’t sound too good to me. I liked Calamus and Lily!
Haunani: don’t worry, my dolls are kind!
Whew! Happy, fragrant dolls.
I really like the overt artificiality of the top notes, there’s that almost rubbery quality to the top notes that I love in Bulgari Black, too – they are great layered, by the way, I bring out the sweet, vanillic qualities in Black (unfortunately) and CdG Tea cuts that beautifully.
Great review, as always! Reminded me that I really need to get my own bottle of Tea.
Now I’ve got to try it for comedy value, if absolutely nothing else!
Actually, I’ll probably like it quite a bit … it’s just that my man has a tea intolerance, so I’ll have to keep it away from him … it’s not good when your perfume actually sickens your lover.
Sorry I’m a little late reviewing this post… but Kevin, I love this! Awesome review. Now I look even more forward to testing this, so I can imagine this encounter in my head while so doing.