Some lucky people have it all figured out early in life. They know that they want to be veterinarians or lawyers while they're still in high school. They find true love just out of high school, and they know by their mid-20s that navy blue doesn't do a thing for their complexions. Of course, they have cemented their choice in perfume as a young adult, too, and change it as they age for a graceful evolution in taste. They know, for instance, that they like subdued florals, and they stay on track as they grow older, choosing Caron Fleurs de Rocailles at 19 years old, then moving to Houbigant Quelques Fleurs at 25, then to Annick Goutal Grand Amour in their mid-30s.
Then there are the late bloomers, like me. In my 20s I worked a serious job and wore department store suits and occasional spritzes of Chanel Coco to testify in front of the Congress and sit in stuffy boardrooms. In my 30s I quit my job and reverted to part time work, writing, vintage clothes, and a whole world of perfume, from Chanel No. 22 to 10 Corso Como. Now I find my taste evolving further to where I like aldehydic, civet-laden scents and unfriendly green chypres. Worse yet, you should see my wardrobe. As I write, I'm wearing a green tartan cotton dress from the 1950s with rhinestone buttons, a 1960s orange and gold cable knit cardigan, and purple Chinese silk slippers, all misted over with Parfums de Nicolaï Mimosaique.
What happened? Instead of becoming more alluring, over time I've become, to put it kindly, a "particular" taste. My perfume, which is supposed to make me more attractive, removes me further from the crowd, and I find myself explaining why the evening's dabs of Lanvin My Sin are worth smelling when everyone else is coated in Calvin Klein Euphoria. When I wore Coco I never needed to convince anyone I smelled good. When I put on a skirt and blouse from Nordstrom I never had to worry that people would think I was freaky for wearing a late-1950s Lilli Ann of Paris suit.
For me, perfume hasn't been about finding the scent that would make me the most attractive, but about finding the scent that, at the moment, I loved best to smell. It hasn't been about pleasing others, but about pleasing myself. In that way, perfume has helped me plumb the depths of who I really am. And, hey, expensive as it is it's still cheaper than therapy.
Note: image via Images de Parfums.
Now I am sure…I am truly not cool enough for this site.
Great post though.
I am a total dork, and if I can post here, anyone can!
I hope you're enjoying motherhood…
A wonderful article! Although I am definitely at the beginning of your road (department store suits, etc).
Being only 20 myself, I wonder what Fleurs de Rocailles smells like? 😉 NST has never reviewed it.
I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for a great read!
I have always had (in all areas of my personal style), what my husband calls “unique taste”. Intermittently I've tried to blend, but the inner me can't be overcome. It's only within the past couple of years that I've felt confident enough to not hide or apologise for the real me.
I think my getting deeper into perfumes is an extension of this. I rather like for instance that I got accused of smelling like tomato soup (CdG Harissa) and that wearing a skirt in a sea of jeans gets me stared at almost constantly in my small town. 🙂
I always get a kick out of the things that people suggest as alternates to therapy, as I am in grad school, training to become a therapist. Having said that, I do agree that perfume can be, like any art form, a passage to greater self-knowledge, if one is so inclined. I think because it is so intimate, that if one is at all introspective, one starts to consider and reconsider one's choices, and that they start to have less to do with what society condones and more to do with what pleases us.
And I think I want those purple Chinese silk slippers…
“It hasn't been about pleasing others, but about pleasing myself.” – yes, that's what it's all about. That's why I don't really care if other people like my perfume – I'm kinda scent egoist;) Thanks for the article, Angela.
Well, maybe it's time for a review of Fleurs de Rocailles! It's a gentle, slightly aldehydic mix of meadow flowers to me. It's light enough in EdT to spray all over and not worry about overdoing it.
We sound like style sisters. I haven't put on pants since sometime in September. It's almost like every year I peel off another layer of the onion, and the true me gets closer to the surface–smelling more complex and dressing with more (as your husband says) “unique taste”.
Right on, Angela! I love it.
Dear Angela,
I feel what you're throwing down! My self expression is far too multifarious for my professional life but somehow they don't fire me for being fabulous and kooky and fragrant. Today I am wearing a very cool minidress with a giant bawdy print of impossible purple lilies with dull gold lame hem and cuffs and neckline. I just got caramel to blond highlights in my crazy curly brown hair. Perfume of the day is the surfer sperm scent from the S-room.
Funny you wrote this “In my 30s I quit my job and reverted to part time work, writing, vintage clothes, and a whole world of perfume,” because I was literally just thinking this morning that I need to tune in, turn on, and drop out. I would love to take a break from the job and devote myself to writing. Ah! We can dream, right?
Thanks for your post. As usual, it was a pleasure.
Lilli Ann? I thought they were made in the Bay Area, no?
I love this post! I really like Jardin apres la Mousson, tied it today for the second time.
I am back home in The Netherlands and had some days of steady introspection, just working myself through some mental growing pains.
Hence a totally different, fresh and surprising fragrance l was just what I needed.
Really liking Jardin apres la Mousson makes me know how my love for perfumes has grown further.
My daughter who is more into the sweet fragrances really liked Jardin apres la Mousson and boy do I feel proud today!! 😀
Great post! Thank you for the wise words – I am 26 and starting to feel like I really should do what I like, and not what others want me to – including perfume tastes:)
Yes to “a passage to greater self-knowledge”! Isn't that what therapy is about? One session with a good psychiatrist equals one bottle of Serge Lutens Arabie as far as $$ go.
I think my slippers cost $7. Do you have a good Chinese grocery near you? You should be able to find them there.
Angela,
Particular can be quite alluring 🙂
If your evolving tastes in fragrance are an indication, then you've become more alluring, not less so, don't you think?
M, a new perspective begs a new perfume. Why not? And you can share it with your daughter, too!
I do sometimes question it, though. I think, aren't I supposed to be smelling good to other people? I want to smell good for other people, and yet at the end of the day I want to smell good for myself, and at this point my appreciation for scent has outstripped that of most of the people I hang out with.
Thanks!
You sound fabulous, all right! I wish I could see that dress.
I recommend the dropping out bit if you can manage it. I try to keep an “anchor job” part time that has health benefits, then squeeze out a little extra money for the mortgage, etc., through freelance writing and odd writing jobs. I'm poorer but happier than I've ever been.
Lilli Ann was made in San Fransisco, but a lot of the fabric came from French textile mills that Lilli Ann's owner supported after WWII. Some of the designs are even unattributed Balenciagas! It's one of my favorite vintage labels.
You go! I want to smell you in something that has “you” written all over it.
I'm guessing that I've become more alluring but to a much tinier slice of the population, alas. A really tiny slice. Possibly mostly me, myself, and I.
Always love your way with words and today got to love your way!
Cheers to the concept of “self allure”!
“Self allure”–I like that! It's a good mantra.
Well there you go.
My embroidered silk slippers are black.
Methinks I'm off to a pretty good start with Encre Noire, if I say so myself, but that's just the beginning, thanks to your encouragement:)
I love that one, great choice.
I'm kind of itching for a pair in gold, too.
The thing I love best about your writing is it's so… mellow and at the same time substantial, Alluring Angie 🙂 Whoever says you lack style, oh chinese-slippers-clad one, is either blind, deaf or dumb.
You know, while my wardrobe may not bespeak kookines and originality like yours, my perfumes sure do.
You are a total darling, Dusan. What kooky perfumes are you wearing these days?
Angela, you are going to gracefully mature into Madame Sousatzka. It's a complement if you haven't seen the movie.
It is, much so a complement.
That might be an interesting topic for a future Friday Poll if it hasn't been done already.
I haven't seen the movie, but I just read the NY Times review of it, and it does mention that Mme Sousatzka “sparys herself furiously with perfume when she's flustered”.
I'll have to rent the movie straight away. What would the poll be about–what perfume she'd wear?
LLol!
I can relate….
Coco is an excellent fragrance. There's something on it that reminds me of Gaultier 2, but to me it's like an elegant and serious older – but sexy -sister of Gaultier 2
Me, too!
I haven't worn Coco for a while, but I really loved it when I did wear it. I'll have to take out my sample vial and try it again. “Elegant and serious” is a good description.
Angela, if you can try to make a side-by-side test with Gaultier 2. It's very interested to see how they're at the same time so different and so equal.
I cannot think of what fragrances I'll be wearing on the next 10 years. I just have 20 and love “older” fragrances, like black cashmere, nu edp, kingdom, and coco (it's on my to be purchased list).
Good luck with finding the movie, Netflix doesn't carry the DVD, it may have existed in VHS at one time but I cannot find any US DVD issue of it.
Wonderful post Angela! I remember the years in my early 20s trying to get a job in an investment bank, also wearing Coco, all buttoned up suits and striped shirts (though, boy, were some of those skirts SHORT!). By my late 20s, I was wearing sundresses, working for a non-profit, and instead spritzing Coco Mademoiselle all over before going into work….LOL. Now in my 30s, I'm working from home (although yes, that anchor job would be a good thing if I could find one!), contemplating going for a PhD in theology, and wearing anything from Ta'if to In Love Again Jasmin Etoile (my latest purchase).
Which reminds me, my original reason for commenting was that I was sitting here wondering what it would do to the people I am going to have dinner with, in this heat, if I layered PC Tuberose Gardenia with EL Azuree Soleil…I just tried it, and I think I'm liking it surprisingly much, and having read your post, I'm probably going to do it and just enjoy! 😀
It sounds like we have a lot in common! Keep an eye out for that anchor job. You just never know.
I like the sound of the T. Gardenia and A. Soleil combination. It must be hot where you are–that sounds like the perfect hot weather combo.
That was the idea, but it seems the movie is difficult to find.
Oh no! It's not even that old a movie.
That's too bad. I'll keep my eyes open for it, though.
I'll do that. I don't have any Gaultier 2 on hand, but I'll make an effort to find a sample. I like comparing scents–thanks for the recommendation.
I heard Nu is being discontinued, and Black Cashmere is, too, so unless you stock up now you may not be able to wear them in 10 years.
Isn't Kingdom great?
What a fabulous way to justify 'the habit'. Cheaper than therapy. This is sooooooo true! I love it!
angela, we need to hang out. great wardrobe. great perfume habit. great post. very inspiring.
– minette/scentsignals
But do you look back and think, who was that girl?
How on earth did I work through an entire bottle of Paris? I mean, it's a great scent, but …. with my Fiorucci earrings, remember those? And I kept my old empty flacon of Coco. THAT was easy to work through! I swear it used to smell different, and better.
Nutz, it seems therapy can be so expensive that price-wise just about anything from Champagne to first editions could substitute. But I like perfume.
Thanks! I'm game if you're game.
I do wonder who that girl was! It's sad in some ways. I want to reach back in time and tell her to have a little confidence in herself and to spend less time being what she “should” be and more time figuring out what she wants to be.
I put on a little Coco in response to an earlier comment here, and I forgot how good it is. It's a powerhouse–might be great on a man, and I'm guessing that a little dab of the parfum would be the best route to go. Boy does it bring back memories.
I'm jealous of the Fiorucci earrings. I lusted after a Fiorucci skirt with vegetables on it for at least a year.
I was thinking about just this topic recently! In the past few years I came to the conclusion that my perfume obsession is *almost* cheaper than therapy…I don't really want to work out the numbers though, would scare me too much! I wear fragrance very, very much for me, though I am pleased when someone likes what I wear for sure.
With clothing, I wear what suits my mood.. I don't know what I'd call it, a few different styles I guess, a teeny bit chic, some hippy, jeans/cute tees etc, but vintage-ish is a main component, and I say “ish”, because I haven't fully accomplished the look (love the sound of yours 🙂 Today I am wearing a 50's style knee-length black skirt with a little bit of black tulle underneath, embroidered with white flowers and a wee bird, topped with a black knit and amethyst jewels completed with Juicy Couture and a good dose of Tocca Cleopatra.
Great, great article. I love your clothes. I think you would like my winter coat – a vintage 50's boiled wool with princess skirt, shawl collar and juicy looking black jeweled buttons, the type that children want to take a bite of. I got married in my coat; underneath I wore a vintage flapper style cream silk dress with hand embroidered black silk flowers and curlicues. Oh and I wore Flowerbomb because the bottle seemed to fit the theme.
On to therapy and perfume … what is more healing than breathing in pure beauty… or innocence… or a memory caught in a spray? Sometimes, nothing else will do. And yes, we need to use more tools to help us on our paths of self awareness and inner knowledge. The Great Outdoors and the scent of the natural state of the world (in all places) has done so much more for me than anything else, apart from love. If only I could bottle each landscape I've learned from!
Awesome article. Please write again SOON.
Great, great article. I love your clothes. I think you would like my winter coat – a vintage 50's boiled wool with princess skirt, shawl collar and juicy looking black jeweled buttons, the type that children want to take a bite of. I got married in my coat; underneath I wore a vintage flapper style cream silk dress with hand embroidered black silk flowers and curlicues. Oh and I wore Flowerbomb because the bottle seemed to fit the theme.
On to therapy and perfume … what is more healing than breathing in pure beauty… or innocence… or a memory caught in a spray? Sometimes, nothing else will do. And yes, we need to use more tools to help us on our paths of self awareness and inner knowledge. The Great Outdoors and the scent of the natural state of the world (in all places) has done so much more for me than anything else, apart from love. If only I could bottle each landscape I've learned from!
Awesome article. Please write again SOON.
Bravo, Angela! I remember by suit and “correct” perfume days. I did always wear perfume that I loved, but I loved very accepted perfumes in those days–Givenchy III, Mystere, Roma. Now it's different. I own my own business, haven't worn dresses in five years, and have a penchant for odd purses. In a few years “eccentric” will switch to “crazy old lady,” but I'm taking my JCEs and Perfums do Nicolai with me.
Elf, your skirt sounds terrific! Skirts with a little tulle underneath are so hard to find these days, too. Let's hear it for perfume therapy!
Wow, I'd love to see photos of your wedding! Your coat sounds amazing, and I love the idea of boiled wool with delicate silk under it.
I once knew a guy who came from a strict Mormon family. He was a forest ranger. He said he didn't need the church anymore, because he had “all this”, he told me as he gestured at the woods around him. I get that.
Isn't it funny? As I dressed truer to myself I started wearing pants LESS often. I love how comfortable and easy dresses are (no pantyhose, naturally, just bare legs when it's warm or tights or knee socks with boots when it's cold).
Three cheers for JCE, PdN, and crazy old ladies! I'm with you all the way on that.
I've never been able to get rid of the hunch that the timeline of my life is going to follow the trend you just described… except I'm trying to unleash my inner free spirit earlier. Tomorrow morning, the investment firm I work at is going to experience my newly purchased PC Tuberose Gardenia, and I'm contemplating subjecting them to FM Une Rose 😛
No Coco for this finance chick.
Good for you! Let 'em have it! I think today's translation for Coco would be Allure or Miss Dior Cherie or Flowerbomb, maybe. In any case, you only live once, so spritz on the Tuberose Gardenia and damn the torpedoes.
I did the whole “conforn” outfit and wore “Le De” by Givenchy.
Then I had a life changing experience and went the other way -“Fame””Hope” Tigress” & my fav “Eau de Love”.
I never went back to any of them – just kept looking for a fragrance that defined me as it were.
As far as dressing “funny” vs the Store Label Brand group –
I am wearing gold satin pj's w/a black & white '20's flowered robe with leopard slippers. And a cloud of “Casaque Femme”.
I so agree about the green chypres and true roses . I want a scent that leaves a MARK!
I once wrote an article called “Perfume as Amour or Armour” about how all the fragrances in a room of wearers went to battle. Yes, this lifestyle is poorer than a day job, but integrity less the soul stealing “norm” is worth it. I celebrate all our individuality – TO US!
Fantastic post Angela, you make me feel so lucky to have discovered this web site!
Totally agree with being who you want to be, There will always be people who love you and people who scorn you, no matter how you look and act, so you may as well look and act the way you want to.
I stopped thinking the day was a waste of fragrance if no one commented on it 🙂
I moved from high brand funeral or shall I say “consultant” business suits to more colorful and unconventional outfits, selected for their originality not brand name. But I may be doing something right. The other day I was shopping for a new pair of glasses, dressed more business than casual, settled on very modern frames when the SA asked apologetically whether I could give her private lessons in Egyptian belly dancing. Imagine my shock! I asked her what made her think I can even dance Egyptian raks sharqi, let alone teach. She answerd “I don't know, there's something in the way you move”. Spooky, huh? Yay!!!
By the way, any idea of Pharaoh's favorite frag?
Lovely article with a confessional tone.
I admit I had the reverse clothing experience (went for vintage 50s in my late teens and early 20s), though.
I believe the desire to please one's mileu dissipates as one grows older and perfume is another manifestation of this maturing. Which is a good thing, allowing us to reveal hidden facets of our personalities.
Thanks for another great article! Like you, fragrances for me are about pleasing myself rather than others, it's not about smelling good but feeling good and it would depend greatly on my mood or whatever it is I'm craving for at the moment (right now it's something boozy!). There are a lot of fragrances though that I would rather wear at home or alone than when I'm out as to avoid others getting offended by it..
Lovely article, Angela, and very true…I've never worn perfume to become more attractive 🙂
Angela,
What a phenomenal post – the changes in your lifeline closely mirror some of my own – I started out as a copywriter, wearing incredible circle skirts and high-heeled sandals and pumps with anklets (I don't remember where that trend came from but it lasted a LONG time). I then swung into a more corporate-chic mode, when I was the Adv Mgr for Marshall Fields (a moment of silence, please)….then it was on to serious corporate at an advertising agency (in account work v. creative) and back to serious couture when I went back into creative work.
Now my days find me in jeans and steel-toe boots for when I go to the foundry or am actually working in our machining shop!
As for signature scents, which were a 'must' back in The Day – well, those days are over. I'm all about the exploration now!
My serious couture is in storage but I still work the shoes – I wear Pucci stiletto slides and Manolo jeweled stiletto thongs on the days when I am just working in the office.
ps. your life sounds like a very happy one! Blessings on you~~~
Here are my perfumes through the ages:
'70's-Youth Dew, Aliage
'80's-Anais Anais, Chanel No. 19, Fidji, Diorissimo
'90's-Un Air de Samsara, Jessica McClintock, Cristalle, White Linen
'00's-Lolita Lempicka, White Linen Breeze, Aqua Motu, Light Blue
I have always sewn Vogue Designer patterns and still make my dresses for special occasions including my wedding dress in 2001. My colour choices have evolved from extra brights to pastels. All my clothes are colour-blocked in the closet with the black stuff for work hidden so I can't see them. I'm all about colour and only wear black under duress (my uniform). I wear perfume every day, even when I'm home alone.
Really? Miss Dior Cherie? I would have thought that really sweet frags were a no no for the office… my guess would have been more with Chanel Chance, which I've noticed every girl my age in the city is now wearing. I freaking smell it everywhere… elevators, bathrooms, restaurants, public parks. They're like fragrance drones, all wearing the same thing.
p.s. This is coming from the girl who thought (a year ago) that Chanel Chance was really good, and the Eau Fraiche was better. I have come a long way.
Chance is a good choice for the “every girl” in an office. But I was wearing Coco–hardly appropriate either!
It's really fun to get to fragrance and bust beyond the department store's offerings.
Your lounging at the computer outfit sounds fabulous! Dressing gowns from the 1920s through the 1940s are so overlooked, but what could be more glamourous for drinking your morning coffee?
I'd love to read your article. Is it available online anywhere?
I love it! How great to be mistaken for an Egyptian belly dancer! (Is there such a thing as Egyptian belly dancing?)
I bet a pharaoh would have gone for the new Goutal myrhh fragrance.
That sums it up very nicely!
I definitely have my “for me and me alone” perfumes, too. The last thing I want to do is incite a perfume ban anywhere.
Boozy scents sound good!
If you're asking from a historical perspective, fragrances were used for scenting the body, for use with the embalming process, also used post-surgery (as an antiseptic), and in ceremonial rituals too. Frags were usually reserved for use by the Pharaohs & Gods. Frank & myrrh were the most commonly used oils during the enbalming process.
Popular fragrances used were Galbanum, lemongras, violet leaves, resins frankincense & myrrh, spikenard, and spices such as cardamom. In addition to its lovely sweet smell, honey was used for dressing wounds as it contains natural humectants has natural antibiotic antifungal properties….
Probably more than anyone wanted to know?? 🙂
And yet you're naturally gorgeous!
Your life sounds REALLY interesting. Advertising office to a foundry? I sense a great story. And I wish I could dig around in your wardrobe.
I vaguely remember the heels with anklets trend. I bet you $50 it's on its way back, too.
I love how your perfume descriptions almost lay out a story.
And you can sew! I'd love to be able to make a dress. My dream is to buy some vintage patterns and make stacks of 1950s sundresses.
Makes me want to rent Sunset Boulevard and see it for the 30th time! 🙂
I live that dream too! I wish I had paid more attention to my grandmother when she was trying to teach me to sew. I come across vintage patterns all the time & just look at them longingly.
I'm going to “blame” my style on mid-life crisis. At 41 I'm ALL about vintage clothes, jewelry & mostly perfume. Thankfully I work as an artist & they just expect us to be a bit “kooky”. I love the idea of wearing something that has traveled through time & has held up well. Kinda like me! 🙂 There's also the wonderful realization that when you get to a certain age you can concentrate more on what makes you happy & not the people around you. As a very young woman, the most important thing was fitting in. Now I throw caution to the wind & put on my 60's paisley tunic, my 70's loafers & a dab of Revlon Moon Drops behind each ear & I'm ready for the day. And my husband calls me an “acquired taste” as well. Thankfully he has acquired the taste & just smile sweetly at my new, dusty old purchase.
When you watch, look for that big bottle of Caron Narcisse Noir on the dressing table….
Fascinating! You must be an archeologist or Egyptologist or something like that.
It sounds like we've followed the same path in a lot of ways.
By the way, I love Moondrops. My grandmother, who I adored, wore it.
Completely agree- I've busted well past the limits of dept store frags, and am on my way to becoming a niche snob, although hopefully a self-aware niche snob. While I agree that Chance is good for the every girl, that is precisely what bothers me- EVERY GIRL wears it, and nobody questions it because of the brand name. There are other fish in the sea, people!
p.s. Back to the article: while I don't have everything in my life figured out, I must say that I've noticed my preference for soliflores pretty early on, particularly rose and jasmine (or any similar white flower). And yes, perfume is such a metaphorical and symbolic extension of our lives that just figuring out my preferences and expanding my horizons helps to deal with the uglies of life. It kicks therapy's ass.
Thanks for the tip! I will be on the lookout for sure. I LOVE that movie, and all movies of that genre! There is such an elegance and glamour, and the writing is amazing!
I admire folks who can wear vintage clothing, there is so much you can do with mixing vintage and modern pieces. I once saw an original Chanel Red Beaded Flapper dress from the 20's. It was tiny but amazingly beautiful!
My dad was, and believe me, I got to see all sorts of interesting things growing up! 🙂
I'm with you on all of it. Enjoy those soliflores, too.
That sounds like an amazing dress.
Maybe I'll rent Sunset Blvd, too. It's been a while since I've seen it.
Interesting! I bet you did.
Cait and Angela and all you drop-outs —
I am so envious!! That's just what I want to do — get off this crazy corporate merry-go-round and be MYSELF, please myself, look and smell and behave the way I want to!!!!! Vancouver is such an expensive town, and it's very difficult to let go of a semi-luctrative 9 to 5. How do you DO it?????????? Seriously!!!
And do let us know which day you are planning on wearing Une Rose so I can anticipate the market fluctuations accordingly, LOL…
PS Am now REALLY loving the ELPCTG and Az.Sol. combination…goes broader and deeper than either one alone…hooah!
Angela, this is such a wise & graceful post. You've managed to put into words something that has been hovering on the edge of my psyche for the last several months. & I love the image of you writing the post in such an outfit & purple slippers!
You can do it! Do you look at a room full of old chairs, a mutt sitting on a couch, a cracked vase full of wildflowers and think “squalor”? Or do you think “bohemian”? There's your key, right there. If you can appreciate the perfect poached egg from the farmers market as much as dinner out at the latest chi chi restaurant, you can do it.
I'm glad the combo worked out so well!
Thank you so much!
That's so inspiring, and liberating, I'm actually a little choked-up, Angela. Funny how we can spend so many years — especially if we're on our own without a steady man — trying SO very hard to be a “success,” but still feel empty, as though we're not living the lives we were born to live and being the women we were born to be. I think, for me, fragrance is a symbol of that desire for myself. It's a world I want to live in, and I get transported there by a whiff of Bois des Iles or Osmanthe Yunnan or Lipstick Rose. . .
I love it every time I see I'll be reading something from you. It's a real escape, and yet like coming home to myself. Thanks, Angela.
You are so nice. Thank you!
Angela, great post, think you've struck a cord with many here. A quote from Louisa May Alcott is in order…
“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.”
Perfect! Thank you.
You know, it seemed cute at the time but I suspect they wouldn't do it right, this time around. They'd probably…..I dunno, wear the anklets with miniskirts or something which only works if you are a size 4 and have a 36-inch inseam, which eliminates roughly 98% of all people on the planet!
My story isn't nearly as interesting as some on these blogs – machining was more a leap of faith, when I realized that I'd been doing the same thing for 25 years and I was sick of it. Boredom can be as stressful as anything else, as I found to my health's dismay. I'm still stressed but I'm surely not bored!!!
I sense our trajectories are similar. Like you I chose to focus my business attentions in a different direction, with attendant fashion changes. Closet? YOU are the one with the shop. I should be rooting around in YOURS!!!:-)
What's really interesting is the shift in perfume interests. Like you I no longer worry about appealing to others, though I try to not wear anything really odd when I'm going to be in close quarters with a lot of people – or around a lot of food. My love of light florals and citrus (not together) has expanded to include a shocking lust for leathers! 3 years ago I couldn't have imagined perfume could even HAVE leather in it (don't ask me what I thought English Leather was composed of, LOL!)
….a fun journey, these phases of our lives, eh?
xo
Loved your post (and your perfume timeline). I am in my late thirties and still struggling to figure out how to make a living and be happy. I feel like I'm inching closer, but haven't gotten there yet. Like Robin, I live in Vancouver, and it's a hellishly expensive city, and will only become even more so over the next few years.
Perfumes are an escape and definitely something I experiment with for my own enjoyment. Fragrance can excite my imagination, and I like to concoct stories about the exotic places various ingredients came from.
I also have a passion for vintage clothing and am envious of your Lilli-Ann suit! I have collected a bunch of sparkly vintage jewelry which I sometimes enjoy wearing, and I have a couple of vintage coats from the early sixties which I adore: one is a brilliantly coloured teal mohair, and the other is a beautiful light-weight wool pink number with rhinestone buttons. I'd be curious to know if perfume addiction goes hand -in hand with vintage clothing. Seeing the workmanship that went into those vintage items makes me a bit sad when compared with today's disposable stuff.
I will send you the article link tout suite. Ah, “Sunset Blvd” – That and “Gilda” sheer inspiration!
I have to rewrite it by hand as the server changed all was lost.
Vicuna, anyone?
I hope you don't mean that you have to rewrite the article by hand? You can't just upload a new copy?
Gilda is a great movie, and Rita Hayworth is terrific. I'm less fond of Mr. Abusive, her lover, but there you go.
It is a very fun journey. I'd think the ozone of hot metal would be ideal with leather…
It must be the love of beauty and quality that brings together vintage clothing lovers and perfume lovers. Your teal mohair coat sounds amazing, by the way!
Good luck finding a happy work solution. I know just how it is.
Haha, on Monday. Traders beware.
Robin–my profession is helping people out of jobs they discover the work that honors their values and creativity. Drop me a line and we can talk. (No charge). QuinnCreative [at] yahoo [dot] com
Wearing dresses requires thighs that don't slap together. If I walk into a theater wearing a dress, it sounds like I'm applauding.
So it's pants for me, 'cause I hate pantyhose, even though the noise is then a hissing sound. I dream of bare legs, but alas, it is only a dream.
–Q
Most people I know are more comfortable in pants, and I share your disdain for pantyhose. Yuck. If I never put them on again it will be too soon.
Could ya'll help me?
Coco seems too strong for me and the others just aren't right-though Chance is close. And this is out of place (sorry) because I don't have a place for it. It is my birthday and a great gift is the expertise of others 😉 I wish to find my signature scent, or at least one I really like. I am 49, a wildlife officer, tomboy, bubble bath freak who wears sexy underwear under my uniform. I used to like Vie Privee by Givenchy, Glamorous and Romance by RL, Beautiful and it's flanker… Love by EL, Baby Doll by YSL, Miracle by Lancolm, Stella by SM, Provocative and Spender by Elizabeth Arden and Pivione by YR. The closest I have come to love, love, loving are: Pleasures Exotic, and Stella in two by SM.
The problem with niche fragrances(Lucky Scent) is spending a lot of money in samples and not finding anything…and I have looked to near poverty. I need help. I am very Romantic, tender, young at heart with a touch of “Come into my parlor”. Stella in 2 comes the closest, but there's just a dab too much amber in the drydown. I don't care for vanilla. or too much patchouli. Strong Gardenia and Tuberose can often be too much, i.e.Fracas, which is nice in small doses. I think I am a woody-floral girl. Any ideas? Please forgive the length-I am on a serious Quest.
Help and joy
Becca
It was blasted to cyber heaven and I have a paper copy on file.
That's one problem with cyberspace – it exists.
Oh you mean Munson? That actor in real life committed suicide by hanging himself from a shower rod while wearing womens clothing. But, oh, how I adore Gloria Swanson!
It's less than I want to know, believe me, I can't get enough of ancient Egyptian anything. Thank you so much!
Angela, there IS such a thing as Egyptian belly dancing. But I am not a dancer in the sense that I perform on stage and get paid for it. I have a normal office job. I just felt some strange things while vacationing in Egypt, like I lived there in ancient times, like coming home really, and it has become a lifelong passion.
As far as I can tell, Egyptians basically worshipped the snake. Their tambourins and special drums sound like a rattlesnake, and some of the religious music could charm a cobra. They surely charm me, I love dancing on that, I almost fall in a sort of trance.
Then there is the Egyptian cabaret dancing, that is very different. Nt to mention folklore dancing.
Question is, how could the woman tell I am so in love with Egypt when I only came in dressed as modern as they come, and wanting a pair of last-fasion glasses?
Now, I may add, wearing Un Jardin Sur Le Nil … God that fragrance is haunting like an Egyptian flute.
Hmm … my experience when it comes to fragrance has been pretty linear. I never cared what others think of my fragrance and was willing to go halfway across the globe to get a coveted bottle.
I always wear more or less the same stuff and can't think of any fragrance I ever loved that would repel me know.
Clothes-wise yes, there have been changes, like most I dread black now and have become much more creative. I wonder if that's good, since most young employees wear uniform-like suits that depress me and this seems the in thing to wear.
Becca –
Have you tried Bois des Iles? You might love it – I do. It's very elegant and feminine on a woman, though a man would transmit something very different in the wearing. It's the kind of fragrance I wear when I don't want to scream “RUFFLES” …more a gorgeously constructed silk organza dress.
Another is Malle's En Passant, which is beautiful – feminine without being 'girly'
And finally, if Fracas is too much for you (are you sure? Of course you are! I love Fracas but it can be a rough row to hoe and might scare the wildlife, LOL!) …..have you tried my beloved Joy? I've been wearing Joy for nearly 30 years now and it never fails to delight me. Heck, I just realized I've been wearing Joy for OVER 30 years! Yow!
I chose three of my faves that are relatively easy to come by – Chanel boutique carries BdI, you can get Joy at any upscale dept store and the Malles can be had at Barneys.
speaking of Luckyscent – have you tried Parfums d'Empire Eau Suave?
Hope this helps. Happy sniffing!
It sounds like something about you says Egypt all right, no matter what you wear. It seems like some of us are lucky enough to been where we are best at home, and some of us have to find it. Maybe your real home is Egypt from a long time ago.
Jardin sur le Nil sounds perfect!
I think becoming more creative would be really good! Sometimes I'm afraid that there are too many smart people with too little imagination out there.
I second Mamabear's choices, especially En Passant. I also wonder if you'd like lily scents, like Goutal Des Lys (light and fresh) Donna Karan Gold (a little more body to it). Good luck! Most of the fun is in the search.
Yikes about Munson!
I haven't seen enough Gloria Swanson, and I must remedy that.
My pleasure, glad you enjoy the Egyptian history & culture. I love it too, it's fascinated me since I was a kid.
I love this post – and I love Lilli Ann suits from the '50s! Thanks for the lovely meditation on your evolving identity. I really relate.
I recently turned thirty, and I'm looking forward to a decade in which I get to be exactly who I am – I'm “trying on” everything from manicures and perfume to comic books and punk rock to cross-country biking. I am letting myself take life drawing classes, POSE for life drawing classes, wear white jeans, eat nothing but mac n' cheese for weeks on end, socialize (or not) as the mood strikes me. My clothes and fragrances are selected to help me fall in love with myself a little every day. If that sounds narcissistic, it's because like many women I feel my twenties were spent trying to please other people. Goodbye to all that!
What a great comment! I love how you're trying so many different (and brave–I'm thinking about posing for life drawing) things. I hope you find lots of things to explore further. (Chinese cooking? Long haul trucking? Lace making?)
Cheezwiz,
Always looking for fragrance-loving locals! If you ever want to make a pilgrimmage to The Perfume Shoppe with a fellow fan, I'd love it if you got in touch with me! rrazzell (at) telus (dot) net
Loving this thread!!!!!!Thanks again, Angela: we want MORE!
I think I like to play with my perfumes in the same way that I like to play with my clothes. It's sort of the same with make-up; it's all a part of the bigger picture I'm trying to present, only I'm not really that interested in make-up for it's own sake – I am hugely interested in clothes for their own sake, though, and fragrance as well, which only tends to make it a lot more difficult for me to pick the right perfume for the right event.
I think half the problem is that I still have too few fragrances, and my collection doesn't keep up with my wardrobe. Have been thinking of trying for your Monday Mail; what perfume to wear with a uniform? What to wear with a subverted one?
Yeah, I'm not one of those structured, orderly people either…
It sounds like we have a lot in common, except that–alas!–I don't have the problem of too few fragrances. At least, not according to people who know me.
That sounds delightful! I will keep it mind – especially for a hopefully not too far off time when I have a bit more spending money ; )
Wow! Congratulations – I didn't have that epiphany until I turned 40. My 30's were spent mostly in addiction recovery, and one is acutely aware of what other people think then! In my 40's I started getting tattooed, started hula lessons, joined an art group, joined a quilt guild, played with boys young enough to be my kids if I had any, etc.
Fragrance has been in my life since my teens but it is always fun to go through phases of renewal in that area. My latest revelation has been the masculine/feminine thing – I wouldn't wear something if it smelled too “guy”. I fell in love with but then got rid of almost a full bottle of Mugler's Cologne in a fit of femininity (going to try it again today to see if I want another one). This week I have been sampling vetiver scents and have liked the smoky, tobacco-y, woody smells on my skin. It's all a growth process.
Angela, some of my favorite women are the unique ones like you.
It's never too late to learn to sew!!! There are tons of resources of learning online (like Pattern Review) and the machines now are incredible – I sold high-end ones for a few years and what even (some) low-end ones can do is great. It takes practice and patience like any new skill. Give it a try!
Thati is interesting – I've just interviewed a bunch of engineers at a French car maker's wearing Tuberose Gardenia! On the way there in the Metro I thought to myself that however tough this day proves to be, I am safe in my fragrant cocoon.
My perfume choices tend to be more quirky on the whole than my taste in clothes. I do wear (not particularly sharp) suits for work, but my casual wardrobe – though a cut about the Wal*mart pret-a-porter range, shall we say! – is of the dull beige trouser variety that LT mocks in his review of Armani Sensi. Which I also like in fact.
I've just interviewed a bunch of engineers at a French car maker's wearing Tuberose Gardenia, and as I made my way there on the Metro, I thought that however hard this day turns out to be, I am safe in my fragrant cocoon.
On the whole, my perfume choices tend to be more quirky than my wardrobe. I do wear (not particularly sharp) suits for work, but my casual wardrobe – while a cut above Wal*mart's pret-a-porter range, shall we say! – is of the beige trouser variety which LT mocks in his review of Armani Sensi. Which I also happen to like!
Sorry for the repeat comment – my Internet line seemed to crash as I hit the post button.
I wonder who that girl was who bought a bottle of Loulou in 1987 thinking it was the last word in understated elegance, and also got through several of Magie Noire in the 80's, despite my terrible (but at the time undiagnosed) powers of civet amplification.
I think Dioressence smells as I imagine embalming fluid might do. Can anyone confirm? : )
I love the hula lessons! Enjoy smoky vetiver, and here's to you!
You're so encouraging, thanks!
Perfume as Armor or Amour
I know that we have all had the misfortune to be in the wake of someone's beloved fragrance which oddly smells ferociously like a new jersey chemical plant. You know the one's I'm talking about:
Tabu – along with scotch and a cigarette, the favorite of the olefactory impaired
Youth Dew – Great in the winter, but on a hot day, oh no! I am sorry but I cannot stand Lauder products. Cheaply made, overly priced, and all I can see is poor Estee testing it in dept stores in Queens in the early 1950's. An old family recipe my foot. Her husband owned a synthetic fragrance company.
Poeme – It ain't never going be.
Obsession – Chemical warfare at it's finest
I could go on, but you all know the offenders.
Perfume as armor are the ones above – they stand firm and scare any man to death. Get into your clothes reeking away.
When I was married, all the wives had “their” scent. You'd walk into the living room and it would be “Quadrille” jousting with “Youth Dew” and losing.
“Charlie” vs. “L'air de temps” all that freshness vs. carnation.
I wore “Le De” then whcih hid tenderly to my skin, avoiding the melee. I used to sit and and think of names for perfumes that would fit the occasion -“IPlease Go Away”, “Why Aren't You Dead Yet”, “Who Are You Fooling”.
I am no longer married, having the fatal non conformist pefume of life. My ex made sure his midget wifelet had the same name, also named their children the names I had picked out but one, and oddly enough, at the time, the same perfume d'amour. Only now it had been transfixed into armour against a memory that was too intrusive and present.
My only advice to those who would seek romance is to find out what perfumes his mother, ex's wore. Because then, you see, you will be able to arm yourself with perfume d'amour – rather like Proust and his madelines.
Try “Jolie Madame” it has leather in. “Tabac Blonde” as well but it is a peculilar fragrance unwrappng itself with leather, a hint of tobacco, woods. A serious frangrance. “Jolie Madame” has floral in it as well and was advertised as the longest lasting perfume in Paris.
It's sort of nice to balance subdued clothing with quirky scent, and Tuberose Gardenia is such a nice one.
Hey, Loulou and Magie Noire are great! Loud–but great! Even with the extra civet boost, I bet you smelled magnificent.
I've never smelled embalming fluid, but now I'm curious! I do love Dioressence, though, I really do. Maybe in a past life I was a mortician?
Thank you for going to all the trouble to retype that! I had to laugh at the “midget wifelet” bit. So true about the power of fragrance.
Two of my favorite scents.
If you also like Kathy Reichs and Patricia Cornwell, I would hazard a guess that it is most likely… : )
I don't pick up civet notes at all, I love Magie Noire!
Thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Trust me it's there – my micro receptors were right on to it…same script recently with Paloma Picasso, Patou 1000 and Schiaparelli's Schocking (which lived up to its name all right!). One squirt and all I get is civet. I think if I ever get to train my nose fully, there may be an opening for me in “forensic perfumery”. As sniffer dogs are to drugs, I could be to animalic notes in the sillage of perpetrators at crime scenes. Which might limit my detection rate, I grant you.
You know, I have realised I seem to like peony based fragrances, not ness. a soliflroral. I also like the sound of Annick Goutal's scents. I definitely like the pretty scents still, but with a little more punch at the end.
-Joy, Becca
“Pretty with a punch” seems like a good goal for a scent.
wow, I was going through your site randomly reading articles and this struck me as I'm going through the same experience… I just left a job (i had for over 17 years) working in a very very conventional environment with most people wearing armani suits and shopping at Holt Renfrew (Montreal) and I am slowly going back to becoming ''myself''… I feel a bit rebellious at first, I got a funky haircut, I started writing and trying to find a part time job in fashion (I'm 'retired' designer) = although some might think I am going through a phse, I know I'm just returning to being my 'old self' and I am happier than ever.
It's a good feeling, isn't it? It's so easy to get sidetracked in life when so many people encourage you to go for the “pretigious” job, buy the expensive car, etc., when at heart you're a different person.
It's a great feeling.
It's tough to always try to ''be like everybody else'' when it's not normal to you.
I felt that I never fitted in anyways. I was the ''odd ball'' when I started working at this office I had a nose ring and was wearing John Fluevog shoes (hello?) – they kept me hidden in offices that were remote from the high ranked employees. But I eventually realized that I didn't have to have pink hair and got higher in the company, which was good.
Today I zigzag back and forth between my 'selves' because everyday is different, why should I always be/look/smell the same right? 🙂
Boring!
I know I am an artist and I'll never be the norm. I can't help but to stand out, even when I don't do anything for it! *shrugs* Not fitting in is just perfect for me, and I am certain that you understand.
I'm ''spechulll'' :o)
Good for you!
It’s late for leaving a message here. But I just found this article and loved it. And the last part, about being cheaper then therapy. I am perfume freaky for few months now (only :-() and I am happy. All the things which bothered and made me unhappy are gone. Me and perfumes are enough to make me so happy.
It is really nice to have scent to explore–so fun! And such a nice way to express yourself.