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Contest to name our faux ad copy contest

Posted by Robin on 21 November 2007 93 Comments

Dana Canoe fragrance for menUpdate: we'll be taking entries through Tuesday, November 27.

One of the joys of posting about new fragrances is the chance to quote all the gloriously over-the-top ad copy. My own personal favorite from the past year is still By Kilian's "Beneath the pseudoinnocence displayed by Bergamot from Calabria...". Can you do better? Several commenters over the past year have suggested that we run a contest to find out. So, in the spirit of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, we will. We're still working out the details, but essentially entrants will be be asked to write a couple of paragraphs introducing their new perfume house and its debut fragrance.

But first, we need a name. So, the pre-contest contest: suggest the winning name for our creative fragrance writing contest, and win a 99.9% full bottle of the celebrity fragrance with the most ironic tag line of 2007*. You can post your suggestion below, or send it to nowsmellthis at comcast dot net.

*Sorry, but I am not going to pay to ship this thing out of the United States, so if the winner is not a US resident, s/he will just win our undying admiration.

Note: image (which has nothing to do with anything, I just like it) via Images de Parfums.

Filed Under: perfume talk
Tagged With: contest, prix eau faux

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93 Comments

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  1. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 12:14 pm

    WhiFi?

    The Lost in Head Space Award?

    The Bullitzer Prize?

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  2. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 12:17 pm

    Niche perfumers Atlelier Profundum et Non Coronet presents “stillborn” “Harrumph!” and “Clash by Night” as their debut fragrances

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  3. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 12:18 pm

    well, I read that wrong…
    The Smellies?

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  4. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 12:38 pm

    The Perfidious Award? Not exactly the meaning you're looking for, but it starts with “per-“. I am sure Pyramus will be along sooner or later to bust on me about this.

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  5. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 12:38 pm

    I want a bottle of “Clash by Night”!

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  6. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 1:03 pm

    How fun!

    My suggestions:

    * The Accord Award

    (different elements coming together to make something completely new…)

    * The Factice

    (fake bottle for fake perfume…)

    * The Nosey's

    (that one is just silly!)

    Log in to Reply
  7. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 1:23 pm

    I love the Bullitzer!! Great recs.

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  8. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 1:24 pm

    LOL — yes, you did, but seriously, Stillborn by Atlelier Profundum et Non Coronet is genius!

    Log in to Reply
  9. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 1:36 pm

    Perfume is from per fumum, right, “through smoke” or some such? Hmmm. My brain is dead today, honestly, I can't think of any clever play on per fumum other than what you did!

    Log in to Reply
  10. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 1:44 pm

    Like the idea of Factice, thanks!

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  11. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 1:46 pm

    The BullSniff Award. If typing that gets repetitive, you can shorten it to BS…

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  12. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 2:28 pm

    Bullony?

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  13. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 2:40 pm

    Parfum de Taureau (scent of bull)

    Toro Premio (bull award)

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  14. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 2:41 pm

    Three variants:

    The Purple Prose of Perfume Profligate Promo Copy Contest

    The Purple Prose of Perfume Pretentious Promo Copy Contest

    The Purple Prose of Perfume Phony Promo Copy Contest

    I wouldn't be so presumptuous to think I have a Demeter Snow chance in hell, but in any case, I'd like to state in advance that I don't want any of Britney's Believe stinking up my mailbox!

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  15. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 2:54 pm

    Or you can go the eponymous route and call it the Kilian Award.

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  16. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 2:55 pm

    LOL — I like it!

    Log in to Reply
  17. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 2:56 pm

    Bullony is a good one! The Bulwer-Lytton contest had it good, as Bulwer-Lytton is long dead. I don't want any trouble from Mr. Kilian Hennessy, LOL…

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  18. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 2:56 pm

    Aha — now I'm thinking we really need a contest name in French!

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  19. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 2:57 pm

    Great ideas, seriously! I wonder what “The Purple Prose of Perfume Pretentious Promo Copy Contest” comes out to in French? To make it all the more Pretentious?

    And hey, if you win, Britney will find you, LOL…

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  20. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 3:17 pm

    You asked: “La prose pourpre du concours Prétentieux de copy de promo de parfum”

    I'm settling on “La prose de Taureau” :)

    Log in to Reply
  21. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 4:26 pm

    Thanks!

    Log in to Reply
  22. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 5:02 pm

    Un Premier Palme de b'Ore
    (refer to the utterly pretentious Cannes Festival du Cinema)

    Log in to Reply
  23. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 5:18 pm

    You could also call it the Merde d'Or — google merde for translation.

    there's even a statue available

    http://www.shinyshiny.tv/gold%20crap.jpg

    Log in to Reply
  24. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 5:24 pm

    “Yada Yiky”

    … spritzes all your c-sense into non existence.

    Log in to Reply
  25. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 5:24 pm

    OH, and the prize for most ironic celebrity scent must be Britney's *In Control*

    uh huh.

    Since I live in her favorite stomping/drinking/shopping/hair-shaving

    grounds, the Valley, it's only a matter of time before my foot gets run over . God I hope she doesn't T-bone me with her Mercedes.

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  26. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 5:38 pm

    Pseudo Fumo Promo Lotto
    (Pig Latin translation: Mock Fragrance Marketing Game)

    Log in to Reply
  27. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 6:14 pm

    No contest ideas yet, but I predict you get some media play on the contest. You heard it here first…

    Log in to Reply
  28. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 6:15 pm

    Bust on you? Never! I'm much too nice to do such a thing. And I checked at http://www.morewords.com using the search string “perf*” and there really aren't any words in English beginning with those four letters that fit the bill.

    Anyway, I have the winning entry, I think:

    The L'Eau de Crap Award.

    Say it out loud a few times if you need to.

    If I do win, I'll pay the postage, seeing as how I live in Canada but still like winning things a little more tangible than undying admiration.

    Log in to Reply
  29. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 8:12 pm

    Nice suggestions, thanks! And even I know what merde means w/o the assistance of Google :-)

    Britney Spears In Control Curious might be the most ironic scent name ever, but it wasn't a 2007 scent so it is not the one I am sending to the winner. In case you were angling after a bottle!

    Log in to Reply
  30. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 8:13 pm

    That went right over my head.

    Log in to Reply
  31. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 8:13 pm

    LOL — excellent!!

    Log in to Reply
  32. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 8:14 pm

    Surely the news media has bigger fish to fry?

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  33. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 8:27 pm

    Many readers have come up with ingenious titles for sure but I'd like to cast my vote for Factice. It's simple, relevant and says it all. Fake awards for the perfume industry. Perfect!!

    Log in to Reply
  34. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 8:35 pm

    Suggestions for Contest Name:
    —OMG! Best Fruity Floral (BFF) Name It
    –PB I Hate Contests (PB is Perfume Blog, of course, no relation to CB)
    –One Girl's Poison is Another's Poisson (for the Francophiles)
    –Eschew Obfuscation (for writers)
    –Lacking Utterly in Terms Elegant for Niches Sniffers (L.U.T.E.N.S.)
    Quinn
    QuinnCreative.com

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  35. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 8:49 pm

    Uh, no, I don't feel a strong need to own a Britney scent, but thanks. LOL

    Log in to Reply
  36. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 8:50 pm

    “–PB I Hate Contests (PB is Perfume Blog, of course, no relation to CB)”

    LOL I love this one!

    Log in to Reply
  37. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 9:00 pm

    I'm trying to think of an ironic title but coming up dry. there's no Paris Hilton: Purity , or Celine Dion: Humility, or Mariah : Good Taste.

    I must keep thinking…

    Log in to Reply
  38. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 9:21 pm

    I love the Bullitzer and don't think I can come up with anything half as funny. That's my vote.

    I was trying to do some kind of pun on the Clios (the biggest print, broadcast and radio ad awards each year) but I can't get it to work. Clio was the muse of history and the famous. No muse for scents, so for this award I couldn't decide between the Thalias (after muse of comedy) or the Melpomenes (after muse of tragedy) – or for that matter the Uranias (muse of astronomy and astrology, which has nothing to do with anything, but it sounds funny, at least…)

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  39. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 9:25 pm

    I have a feeling undying admiration is worth more than the scent in question, LOL, but I will leave it to you!

    Log in to Reply
  40. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 9:26 pm

    Hint: it was the most ironic tag line of the year, not the most ironic title.

    Log in to Reply
  41. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 9:27 pm

    Every industry needs a fake award :-)

    Log in to Reply
  42. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 9:28 pm

    OMG! Best Fruity Floral (BFF) Name It — priceless!

    Log in to Reply
  43. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 9:29 pm

    That must be our next contest, don't you think: to come up w/ a muse for perfumery…

    Log in to Reply
  44. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 9:32 pm

    some of them already have one! I'm thinking of Hollywood…

    and this is a wonderful idea, btw. Lots of laughs from it and more to come no doubt.

    Log in to Reply
  45. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 10:05 pm

    I know, it's just easier to riff on titles

    Log in to Reply
  46. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 10:31 pm

    My personal favorite. I have a marketing background and I wonder about this name–it's pretty risky and bold.

    Log in to Reply
  47. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 10:32 pm

    It works really well when you say it while chewing bubble gum.

    –Q

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  48. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 11:50 pm

    Risky, bold, and exceptionally clever. Nice take on both awards and CB's anti-traditional perfumery stance, and dryly humorous to boot. Bravo!

    Log in to Reply
  49. Anonymous says:
    21 November 2007 at 11:52 pm

    I want to add a tag to your Escew Obfuscation: “Why use two syllables when twelve will do?”

    Log in to Reply
  50. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 1:11 am

    Perfect! I once had a T-shirt made with those two words on it. People stopped me and asked what it meant in English. I'm still laughing.

    –Q

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  51. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 1:50 am

    LOL totally hilarious and totally believable.

    Log in to Reply
  52. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 4:13 am

    But this is already for the next stage of the contest.

    Log in to Reply
  53. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 5:35 am

    This contest is fun to try but not as easy as it looks.

    I thought of: “The Pretentious Spritz” Award and

    “The Golden Spritzer” Award

    I also like the Bullitzer Award, think I will vote for it.

    Log in to Reply
  54. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 12:35 pm

    Pretentious Spritz is wonderful. Even if you remove the perfume imagery, you can just see words flying out of a computer screen, filling the air with. little scraps pretension. Lovely!

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  55. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 2:03 pm

    Schmelling-Fruchtig Award

    Homage de Fromage

    I love the Fatice suggestion!

    Log in to Reply
  56. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 2:03 pm

    Bullspritz Awards?

    Log in to Reply
  57. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 2:07 pm

    Actually, I guess it would be the Hommage au Fromage. Pardon my French:)

    Log in to Reply
  58. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 2:13 pm

    Thanx !! ;)) I'm a European and my English is failing me when it comes to this sort of challenges. But I'll go for it nomatter what.

    I like your visions with “those little scraps of pretension”..

    Log in to Reply
  59. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 4:38 pm

    either way it's very funny :)

    Log in to Reply
  60. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 9:58 pm

    Ah, now I get it :-)

    Log in to Reply
  61. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 10:00 pm

    LOL! good one :-)

    Log in to Reply
  62. Anonymous says:
    22 November 2007 at 10:00 pm

    Nice suggestions!

    Log in to Reply
  63. Anonymous says:
    23 November 2007 at 12:19 am

    The Eau de Faux Awards?

    Log in to Reply
  64. Anonymous says:
    23 November 2007 at 4:47 am

    Hello Quinn,

    Just bookmarked your website. Very inspiring and uplifting the spirit. Envy you for living in Vancouver. Canada is my favorite country on this planet. Have been living in Toronto ON for some years but sofar did not make it to Vancouver. When I have the time and the opportunity visiting Vancouver is very high on my list!

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  65. Anonymous says:
    23 November 2007 at 12:16 pm

    Why does the name has to have such a negative sound?

    “Prix Des Eaux des Sourires” or Prix Des Eaux du Bonheur” could be a choice. It maybe a faux award, but still…

    Log in to Reply
  66. Anonymous says:
    23 November 2007 at 12:33 pm

    I do think Bullspritz deserves at least the short list, Robin!! No prize in store for this Canadian, but it's the fame that counts!!

    Log in to Reply
  67. Anonymous says:
    23 November 2007 at 1:10 pm

    Good one, thanks Rosewater!

    Log in to Reply
  68. Anonymous says:
    23 November 2007 at 1:11 pm

    I haven't decided how we will pick the winner yet, but I may make Kevin do it, LOL…or we'll vote, I don't know. But I'm sure you'll make the short list :-)

    Log in to Reply
  69. Anonymous says:
    23 November 2007 at 3:00 pm

    I have an idea: the prize to any lucky Vancouverite is toast and tea and company downtown with Kevin himself, whenever he's next up from Seattle!!!

    Log in to Reply
  70. Anonymous says:
    23 November 2007 at 4:14 pm

    This is hilarious!!!

    Log in to Reply
  71. Anonymous says:
    23 November 2007 at 4:59 pm

    I love Vancouver, too. Best vacation I ever had with my family–we stayed at the Westin when my son was young–he loved seeing the birds and sea planes at close range.

    Log in to Reply
  72. Anonymous says:
    23 November 2007 at 5:56 pm

    How about “Mysterieux odeur de rien” Award

    or Parfum de you can't afford it!!

    Log in to Reply
  73. Anonymous says:
    23 November 2007 at 7:55 pm

    Marianne–

    Must be some other Quinn on the site. I'll claim an uplifting website (I'm a creativity coach, after all), but I'm very far from Vancouver. I live in the Sonoran desert, in Tempe, Arizona. I'm a very recent (10 days) transplant from Washington, D.C. But I do love Vancouver, and I hope we can meet when we both visit!

    –Q

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  74. Anonymous says:
    23 November 2007 at 8:56 pm

    Mysterieux odeur de rien is great, thanks!

    Log in to Reply
  75. Anonymous says:
    24 November 2007 at 6:42 am

    Yep, I have been confusing things. Watching whales walking along the beach is not something one can do in Arizona. It was your website though that pulled me out of some not so good mood state of mind, but it was early in the morning and the day here was so dark and grey. So when I walked outside, Prague and life in general, suddenly looked a lot more attractive.

    Will let you know when I'll fly to Vancouver..!!

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  76. Anonymous says:
    24 November 2007 at 7:23 am

    I really like bullitzer, and I support it.

    Also as it is a red carpet event, I suggest wearing a ribbon (transparent, symbolizing the efimerous nature of scent) and all profits and donations should go to the Anosmia Foundation.

    (Check out “Based On an Untrue Story” a TV movie with Morgan Fairchild, where she suffered the terrible disease!)

    Of course the anosmia foundation still does not exist, at least to my knowledge… but let's skip a lawsuit.. just call it bullitzer! :-)

    Factice Awards does sound chic to me. When I was a child a friend of mine's mother had a HUGE chloe bottle on her bathroom as decor… when I got near it, with the full intention of bathing on the stuff I saw the words “FACTICE” in transparent tape on the bottom… OH! the dissapointment.

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  77. Anonymous says:
    24 November 2007 at 9:28 am

    Cracking up at the transparent ribbon, to say nothing of Morgan Fairchild playing the poster child ;-)

    Log in to Reply
  78. Anonymous says:
    24 November 2007 at 10:05 am

    Oh my God Robin!

    I feel like an unsensitive clod…

    The Anosmia Foundation actually DOES exist.

    http://www.anosmiafoundation.org

    Well I hope they have a good sense of humor :-)

    Log in to Reply
  79. Anonymous says:
    24 November 2007 at 10:53 am

    Gosh, it almost had to exist, didn't it — I should have thought to look!

    Log in to Reply
  80. Anonymous says:
    24 November 2007 at 2:03 pm

    I'll also admit that on Thanksgiving I posted various links on my blog for people who were alone on that day (as I was.) Several links were animal cams–British Columbia beluga whales and the Monterey Bay fish life. So it's hard to tell where I'm writing from.

    Log in to Reply
  81. Anonymous says:
    24 November 2007 at 2:23 pm

    Definitely have Kevin choose the winner and I second the motion of tea with him in Vancouver if a Vancouverite wins! We're dying to meet him.

    Log in to Reply
  82. Anonymous says:
    24 November 2007 at 6:03 pm

    The Faux-Faux Awards?
    With categories such as best fake bottle design, strongest and weakest sillage, and an award for over-application of scent (I have already designed the award for that category: it looks like a shower head)…
    (BTW I am a huge fan and first-time poster today, pleased to meet you all)

    Log in to Reply
  83. Anonymous says:
    24 November 2007 at 7:49 pm

    one partcular ex-boyfriend of mine will winfor overapplcation of Tommy Hilfige cologne. ugh. Lve the showerhead idea!

    Yes, more categories are much needed. Lots of nonsense out there to “award”.

    Log in to Reply
  84. Anonymous says:
    24 November 2007 at 9:23 pm

    More categories hmmm…..Bottles that are impossible to stand up and need 3 hands to spray…..Dirtiest names…Nostalgia scents, Vicks, windex, exhaust, bug spray, smoke, plastic…..pez.

    How about a giant scrub brush as the award?? That could be a whole category in itself “The Scrubbers”.

    Log in to Reply
  85. Anonymous says:
    24 November 2007 at 10:15 pm

    Here's mine:

    pROSE and SCENTences

    CindyN

    Log in to Reply
  86. Anonymous says:
    25 November 2007 at 10:40 am

    Hi Allie, and welcome! Nice entry, I like Faux-Faux. Cracking up at the idea of the shower head :-)

    Log in to Reply
  87. Anonymous says:
    25 November 2007 at 10:41 am

    Nice!

    Log in to Reply
  88. Anonymous says:
    25 November 2007 at 7:09 pm

    New girl on the blog here, hello.

    I love it here; not only is this blog well written, but nicely designed and easy on the eye as well, which is no small thing at this age of visual cacophony.

    My vote goes to Pyramus' “L'Eau de Crap”, but can't keep *my own* couple of cents to myself:

    The No-Belle Prize,

    or

    The Eau-No-No Award (pronounced, of course, with a heavy french accent).

    cheers,

    Noa

    Log in to Reply
  89. Anonymous says:
    25 November 2007 at 9:01 pm

    Welcome Noa, and thanks for the nice words!

    I love No-Belle prize :-)

    Log in to Reply
  90. Anonymous says:
    25 November 2007 at 10:52 pm

    How about the Puffumery Awards? The presenter would say “and the Puffy goes too”. Sean Diddy, formerly Puffy Combs could be the host or spokesmodel.

    If you do a category for best perfume name, I want to put in Nom de Fume for that.

    Lots of good suggestions! I like the Purple Prose ones.

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  91. Anonymous says:
    26 November 2007 at 10:03 am

    LOL — do you think you can line up Sean John for us?

    Seriously, love Puffumery, great choice.

    Log in to Reply
  92. Anonymous says:
    26 November 2007 at 5:44 pm

    The Aeon.

    She was one of the nymphs of Venus and revealed the secret of perfumery to man. (compliments of The Astrological Lodge of London website).

    Log in to Reply
  93. Anonymous says:
    26 November 2007 at 9:39 pm

    Thanks, had never heard that!

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